I found a tea that is a natural anti-depressant!
I kid you not. Teavana is pretty much the most amazing store that the Columbia Mall has to offer at the moment.
I know that a lot of my recent entries have been full of whining and self-pity and I do apologize for that. I really don't know what's been wrong with me for the past, what, year? I have a lot to be thankful for so I shouldn't be such a sourpuss/party pooper all of the time. I want to be happy. I honestly TRY to be but I seem to come up short, as if there's some crucial piece to my Stephanie puzzle that was missing from the box. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic but I feel like that sometimes, like I'm incomplete.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
Maybe I deserve lonliness because I'm such a fucking head case.
I went to Otakon today mostly because no one seemed that keen on going to V-Fest. I thought I was excited for it, but when I got there that excitement simmered down after about an hour. Nothing in the Dealer's Room really caught my interest - I felt like I'd seen it all before because I've gone so many times. Nothing was exciting, fresh, new. Artist's Alley was a bit more entertaining because the artists run their own booths, selling prints and plushies alike. But even in there I felt like the whole experience was redundant almost. I guess I've finally grown out of the whole thing as much as it saddens me in part to admit it because a love for everything and anything Japanese was such a big part of my adolescent years. Things change though I suppose. I've moved on, though I can still appreciate cute plushie type things of course.
It's too bad I couldn't have drawn such a conclusion BEFORE I spent sixty-five fucking dollars to register. Fucking fuckity fuck. I feel obligated to go tomorrow even though I have no real reason to.. but Sunday will be okay I suppose. The musical guests that the 'con imported from Japan are good, so the concert should make it worth my drive up there. Katie said she'd go as well so yay.
Part of me wants school to start right now but another tiny part wants to curl up into a little ball and never speak to anyone (especially that certain boy) again because I'm afraid of being hurt. Ahhhh
Lady future's arms are lily white
They stretch before you come inside
There is room enough
She is generous
Come on, come up
While we're still young
You want to love your life from a prison?
Of all this uninvited altruism
The homemade weapons you are fashioning
Are hellbent on doing us both in
You better mean what you say
Why don't you say what you mean
I never get anywhere
I get the space in between
Beautifully mutilated
Insanely antiquated
I will admit I almost always underestimate it..
I know that a lot of my recent entries have been full of whining and self-pity and I do apologize for that. I really don't know what's been wrong with me for the past, what, year? I have a lot to be thankful for so I shouldn't be such a sourpuss/party pooper all of the time. I want to be happy. I honestly TRY to be but I seem to come up short, as if there's some crucial piece to my Stephanie puzzle that was missing from the box. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic but I feel like that sometimes, like I'm incomplete.
Maybe I'm just lonely.
Maybe I deserve lonliness because I'm such a fucking head case.
I went to Otakon today mostly because no one seemed that keen on going to V-Fest. I thought I was excited for it, but when I got there that excitement simmered down after about an hour. Nothing in the Dealer's Room really caught my interest - I felt like I'd seen it all before because I've gone so many times. Nothing was exciting, fresh, new. Artist's Alley was a bit more entertaining because the artists run their own booths, selling prints and plushies alike. But even in there I felt like the whole experience was redundant almost. I guess I've finally grown out of the whole thing as much as it saddens me in part to admit it because a love for everything and anything Japanese was such a big part of my adolescent years. Things change though I suppose. I've moved on, though I can still appreciate cute plushie type things of course.
It's too bad I couldn't have drawn such a conclusion BEFORE I spent sixty-five fucking dollars to register. Fucking fuckity fuck. I feel obligated to go tomorrow even though I have no real reason to.. but Sunday will be okay I suppose. The musical guests that the 'con imported from Japan are good, so the concert should make it worth my drive up there. Katie said she'd go as well so yay.
Part of me wants school to start right now but another tiny part wants to curl up into a little ball and never speak to anyone (especially that certain boy) again because I'm afraid of being hurt. Ahhhh
Lady future's arms are lily white
They stretch before you come inside
There is room enough
She is generous
Come on, come up
While we're still young
You want to love your life from a prison?
Of all this uninvited altruism
The homemade weapons you are fashioning
Are hellbent on doing us both in
You better mean what you say
Why don't you say what you mean
I never get anywhere
I get the space in between
Beautifully mutilated
Insanely antiquated
I will admit I almost always underestimate it..