what the hell is wrong with me?
i think i am stressing out WAYYY too much.
and by that i mean, feeling stressed and having my stomach be all acidic and painful.
and not even conciously.
ie:
- for the past four nights i keep waking up anxiously and checking what time it is, even though i have an alarm clock. no idea why this keeps happening.
- my past four dreams have been about death of someone i knew (classmate, arabic teacher, friend, mother).
- i got up this morning at 8 and took a shower. then i came back and thought it was a good thing that i didnt go back to sleep, because then i would be late for organic. the thought of being late for organic stressed me out and made my stomach hurt like crazy. EVEN THOUGH I STILL WILL NOT BE LATE.
- homework. we didnt really even have any, but i'm stressing out about knowing everything about every line of text for my four classes. i can't even control it! i never did that last semester.
- eating. this sinus infection is making me not hungry and especially not want to eat food, but i keep going to meals to eat. but then my stomach hurts more after that. what the heck!
- jesse. maybe this is the root of it. kind of shaky relationship talks with not only him but linnea, on top of everything else, probably made me get all stressed. things are, at least in my opinion, much much better now in terms of us. HOWEVER, i'm still nervous about his talk with joe. who knows how much stuff he'll disclose? not like it matters... joe is a close friend. AHH. see? here i go again.
- dance team. i keep missing conditioning and for some reason i feel inadequate. i feel like we know the routine and are ready to perform... just that i'm not. i KNOW i am, but it FEELS like i'm not.
- business. i like being busy, but running from one thing to the next is kind of insane after a while. i hate that i'm too busy to write my mission trip leader back or my church pastor back. tons of friends are popping up out of nowhere, and i'm avoiding my homework to hang out wiht them, but then i miss hanging out with the boys i care for the most cause of homework.
and my mom has my xanga link. ugh. okay. i'm done... i'm going to eat breakfast and be off to chem.
take care, and dont stress!
<3
and by that i mean, feeling stressed and having my stomach be all acidic and painful.
and not even conciously.
ie:
- for the past four nights i keep waking up anxiously and checking what time it is, even though i have an alarm clock. no idea why this keeps happening.
- my past four dreams have been about death of someone i knew (classmate, arabic teacher, friend, mother).
- i got up this morning at 8 and took a shower. then i came back and thought it was a good thing that i didnt go back to sleep, because then i would be late for organic. the thought of being late for organic stressed me out and made my stomach hurt like crazy. EVEN THOUGH I STILL WILL NOT BE LATE.
- homework. we didnt really even have any, but i'm stressing out about knowing everything about every line of text for my four classes. i can't even control it! i never did that last semester.
- eating. this sinus infection is making me not hungry and especially not want to eat food, but i keep going to meals to eat. but then my stomach hurts more after that. what the heck!
- jesse. maybe this is the root of it. kind of shaky relationship talks with not only him but linnea, on top of everything else, probably made me get all stressed. things are, at least in my opinion, much much better now in terms of us. HOWEVER, i'm still nervous about his talk with joe. who knows how much stuff he'll disclose? not like it matters... joe is a close friend. AHH. see? here i go again.
- dance team. i keep missing conditioning and for some reason i feel inadequate. i feel like we know the routine and are ready to perform... just that i'm not. i KNOW i am, but it FEELS like i'm not.
- business. i like being busy, but running from one thing to the next is kind of insane after a while. i hate that i'm too busy to write my mission trip leader back or my church pastor back. tons of friends are popping up out of nowhere, and i'm avoiding my homework to hang out wiht them, but then i miss hanging out with the boys i care for the most cause of homework.
and my mom has my xanga link. ugh. okay. i'm done... i'm going to eat breakfast and be off to chem.
take care, and dont stress!
<3