Boy It Has Been Awhile
There's Gotta Be Something More About This Ocean Than The Crystal Blue Lights
There's one little boy and one little girl and together they thought they could change the world. Love for love and hand in hand they walk by the shores of the sea and deep within the shadows of insecurity that ask " is this really me"?
So as they walk she is mysteriously gone, somehow and someway she has dissapeared. " I must find her ", says the little boy. I'll take this boat as far as it will take me. I'm lost, your not here and your definetely not there. Then why, why can I still have the scent of your beautiful brown hair. It so screams like nothing I have heard before in my entire life. I may still be young so I can only imagine the warmth of your tongue. There is absoluetly nothing I can do except look for you on the outskirts and forget the feeling that it really hurts that your gone.
You must be out there for that is a great place to hide away. A place where emotions run low and there is no need to express how or why. " I am not ready", says the little boy. So he sits and sips his coffee, a mocha cappocina to be exact. He is looking for the ocean where she left him, he ultimately realizes that his chances of finding her are slim. I knew I had nothing offer and so she took off. She packed her bags and headed for home.
But I am sure that I checked home and I discovered she was out. Out on her own and she has been sleeping alone. Where is her comfort and where is her effort I must ask. Both are no where to be found.
Is there a reason or answer why she did not leave a trace or is it simply that cannot find the place. The place where she hangs her head at night and I wonder if she sleeps in a cold or warm bed. Complacent dreams that she thinks about me always and others of her running through the hallways. In and out of she hospital she visits. Track marks up and down her arms, she found her drug and all I can do is remember her distant hug. The warmth of her touch and if I had the chance to tell her I would say, " I miss you way too much". Also the way her lips blow out the word hush and kiss me darling.
Maybe I should have answered her instead of smiling and nodding its alright when its not. I knew I should have held her more tight. If so, then maybe she would not have ran away. She would have not disapeared and then maybe this flesh of mine would have not be seared. What a pernament reminder, not much like a photograph, but all is the same and no matter what you do we all fall down in the game of ring around the rosie. My pocket has no posie but pills and maybe a pen to write down my spills, wills, and thrills.
This is very unlikely to be my destiny because if so, then she is just a waste of me. It is wat too bad, I refuse to believe this fate. This is not check and it is no where near checkmate. The match has just begun and wheel has yet to be spun and no even you have won. I see no fault in my emotions, so i'll walk and i'll walk along these oceans. A beach she will return to and I will be waiting. The only question tha has yet to be answered is which beach will she return to?
I have to stay in focus and I want to notice the signs she might send. My mind need not be occupied for my plane has not landed, it has only begun to fly. Such a vessel like this should not be piloted alone and the only destionation is home. A passenger must accompany the lonely and the one wish I could think to tell her is, " if only if only she knew that home is not home unless you are there".
What an idea for life, to live with love and also with strife. One does not function without the other, just like every father is useless with a mother. Every baby is useless and hungry without their bottle to drink with. Every teacher is useless without students to teach and it seems that I just out of reach of understanding.
Have I much to learn or is it time for me to be the hero. Questions need to be asked, " will I rescue the damsel in distress or will I come up short and fail like the rest? I guess i'll drop her right at the bottom of the dirty street but all I can do is try my best and I cannot doubt that I am not strong enough. Forget me I shall and i'll fight through it and if my spirit breaks I must glue it. Back together we need it to be for us to survive for we are nothing, rendered disabled without each other to hold and without you my dear my heart might as well be sold.
For no one can make it beat like her, my heart of course and life before and after is all just a blur. I try and I try, but nothing comes to my lips and all I can remember is the touch and the shake of her lips.
This is nothing like a game or a movie. I cannot pause and I most certainly can't press rewind and even I chose to swallow pills every once n awhile. What a small piece of relief and none of them can relinqush you from my mind.
I know it seems I should be drowning in sadness but letting things such as that get in my way of my search is nothing short of madness. Absolutely nothing and I mean nothing must get in my way of my travels to find the hand that fits perfectly in mine and I refuse to lose sight, I will not let you go blind. If you need eyes to see then I beg you to borrow mine and please look past all the sorrow and then you will see the world through my eyes and understand all the screams and sighs. You would see how, when I look at you I tremble in fear and also how I hold you heart dear. This is not my last stop and I walk on, crawl if I have to and bleed on this mat if you wish me to. Just know I walk alone to find you and if even death take me during this journey at least they'll know I did not give up on you, even when our time is through. But please make no mistake I will find you, bleeding or breathing for this must be my life. Do not worry, do not lose touch for heaven's sake. I will carry you, even if I have to succumb to sin, I will not let you drown in this water. Just look for the blinding blue lights that would do anything to hold her and I must not let you go again.
Daniel Heatherington 2006
There's one little boy and one little girl and together they thought they could change the world. Love for love and hand in hand they walk by the shores of the sea and deep within the shadows of insecurity that ask " is this really me"?
So as they walk she is mysteriously gone, somehow and someway she has dissapeared. " I must find her ", says the little boy. I'll take this boat as far as it will take me. I'm lost, your not here and your definetely not there. Then why, why can I still have the scent of your beautiful brown hair. It so screams like nothing I have heard before in my entire life. I may still be young so I can only imagine the warmth of your tongue. There is absoluetly nothing I can do except look for you on the outskirts and forget the feeling that it really hurts that your gone.
You must be out there for that is a great place to hide away. A place where emotions run low and there is no need to express how or why. " I am not ready", says the little boy. So he sits and sips his coffee, a mocha cappocina to be exact. He is looking for the ocean where she left him, he ultimately realizes that his chances of finding her are slim. I knew I had nothing offer and so she took off. She packed her bags and headed for home.
But I am sure that I checked home and I discovered she was out. Out on her own and she has been sleeping alone. Where is her comfort and where is her effort I must ask. Both are no where to be found.
Is there a reason or answer why she did not leave a trace or is it simply that cannot find the place. The place where she hangs her head at night and I wonder if she sleeps in a cold or warm bed. Complacent dreams that she thinks about me always and others of her running through the hallways. In and out of she hospital she visits. Track marks up and down her arms, she found her drug and all I can do is remember her distant hug. The warmth of her touch and if I had the chance to tell her I would say, " I miss you way too much". Also the way her lips blow out the word hush and kiss me darling.
Maybe I should have answered her instead of smiling and nodding its alright when its not. I knew I should have held her more tight. If so, then maybe she would not have ran away. She would have not disapeared and then maybe this flesh of mine would have not be seared. What a pernament reminder, not much like a photograph, but all is the same and no matter what you do we all fall down in the game of ring around the rosie. My pocket has no posie but pills and maybe a pen to write down my spills, wills, and thrills.
This is very unlikely to be my destiny because if so, then she is just a waste of me. It is wat too bad, I refuse to believe this fate. This is not check and it is no where near checkmate. The match has just begun and wheel has yet to be spun and no even you have won. I see no fault in my emotions, so i'll walk and i'll walk along these oceans. A beach she will return to and I will be waiting. The only question tha has yet to be answered is which beach will she return to?
I have to stay in focus and I want to notice the signs she might send. My mind need not be occupied for my plane has not landed, it has only begun to fly. Such a vessel like this should not be piloted alone and the only destionation is home. A passenger must accompany the lonely and the one wish I could think to tell her is, " if only if only she knew that home is not home unless you are there".
What an idea for life, to live with love and also with strife. One does not function without the other, just like every father is useless with a mother. Every baby is useless and hungry without their bottle to drink with. Every teacher is useless without students to teach and it seems that I just out of reach of understanding.
Have I much to learn or is it time for me to be the hero. Questions need to be asked, " will I rescue the damsel in distress or will I come up short and fail like the rest? I guess i'll drop her right at the bottom of the dirty street but all I can do is try my best and I cannot doubt that I am not strong enough. Forget me I shall and i'll fight through it and if my spirit breaks I must glue it. Back together we need it to be for us to survive for we are nothing, rendered disabled without each other to hold and without you my dear my heart might as well be sold.
For no one can make it beat like her, my heart of course and life before and after is all just a blur. I try and I try, but nothing comes to my lips and all I can remember is the touch and the shake of her lips.
This is nothing like a game or a movie. I cannot pause and I most certainly can't press rewind and even I chose to swallow pills every once n awhile. What a small piece of relief and none of them can relinqush you from my mind.
I know it seems I should be drowning in sadness but letting things such as that get in my way of my search is nothing short of madness. Absolutely nothing and I mean nothing must get in my way of my travels to find the hand that fits perfectly in mine and I refuse to lose sight, I will not let you go blind. If you need eyes to see then I beg you to borrow mine and please look past all the sorrow and then you will see the world through my eyes and understand all the screams and sighs. You would see how, when I look at you I tremble in fear and also how I hold you heart dear. This is not my last stop and I walk on, crawl if I have to and bleed on this mat if you wish me to. Just know I walk alone to find you and if even death take me during this journey at least they'll know I did not give up on you, even when our time is through. But please make no mistake I will find you, bleeding or breathing for this must be my life. Do not worry, do not lose touch for heaven's sake. I will carry you, even if I have to succumb to sin, I will not let you drown in this water. Just look for the blinding blue lights that would do anything to hold her and I must not let you go again.
Daniel Heatherington 2006