Recent events have caused me to realise-
You cannot trust everyone...
Something today...has caused me to see how bad the human psyche truly is. One of my most hated, HATED feelings...is to be lied to. Two "friends" of mine...have done this to me this night-one of them...I will not hate...I will not hate him. The other...I abhor. I abhor so much- that I don't even know what i'd do. I wanted...I TRIED to kill her. If you think, for one second, that I am lieing...please talk to me. This goes out to Amelia...Shawn...Daniel...Brittany...anyone that knows me...that I almost did something so terrible today. I will explain to you the nature of why this happened...what happened...and how it was dealt with. I am still...in so much pain and heart ache-but yet...slowly...it's easing away.
God helped me today-even if you don't or do believe in him. My version is so different...then the one you may see-but to me...in my heart-what happened today...I needed him there with me.
Nick and Jamie consoled me...they kept me from doing something so atrocious...
I feel so bad now...the conventions are now grinding down to a hault...I will not hate a certain person-because I still care. Even after what happened...I still care.
I have to explain to Tatiana...what happened. I have to keep this from my parents and my Auntie and uncle...
It's been so long since I wrote in this...but tonight I felt I needed to. I needed to say something. If this comes out as angst-let it...but my friends...that I have-please help me with this. Because I don't know what to do...
I hate someone so bad- I tried to kill them. Someone's heart was broken today-and mine was also torn...both are still beating-but not as they were before.
I don't want to sleep...I just...want to sit. And think.
FFXI...maybe i'll get on it later...in due time.
Thank God for Jamie and Nick tonight...if they weren't there...I fear for what could have happened.
Something today...has caused me to see how bad the human psyche truly is. One of my most hated, HATED feelings...is to be lied to. Two "friends" of mine...have done this to me this night-one of them...I will not hate...I will not hate him. The other...I abhor. I abhor so much- that I don't even know what i'd do. I wanted...I TRIED to kill her. If you think, for one second, that I am lieing...please talk to me. This goes out to Amelia...Shawn...Daniel...Brittany...anyone that knows me...that I almost did something so terrible today. I will explain to you the nature of why this happened...what happened...and how it was dealt with. I am still...in so much pain and heart ache-but yet...slowly...it's easing away.
God helped me today-even if you don't or do believe in him. My version is so different...then the one you may see-but to me...in my heart-what happened today...I needed him there with me.
Nick and Jamie consoled me...they kept me from doing something so atrocious...
I feel so bad now...the conventions are now grinding down to a hault...I will not hate a certain person-because I still care. Even after what happened...I still care.
I have to explain to Tatiana...what happened. I have to keep this from my parents and my Auntie and uncle...
It's been so long since I wrote in this...but tonight I felt I needed to. I needed to say something. If this comes out as angst-let it...but my friends...that I have-please help me with this. Because I don't know what to do...
I hate someone so bad- I tried to kill them. Someone's heart was broken today-and mine was also torn...both are still beating-but not as they were before.
I don't want to sleep...I just...want to sit. And think.
FFXI...maybe i'll get on it later...in due time.
Thank God for Jamie and Nick tonight...if they weren't there...I fear for what could have happened.