but my god it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.
so classes are half over.
i got about another 4 weeks of class, and then the show, and then naples for a few days, and then, about 10 days with my family in italy.
this is insane. i remember when i was counting down 4 weeks until italy and i was freaking out, and excited and full of anticipation.
and im not sure whether or not i just want to go home or if i want to stay here.
i'm so torn.
and i keep having these dreams where i go home early and get so upset because i wasn't here long enough and didn't experience enough, or live enough and go all out like i should have.
maybe i should live it up a little more.
this is a once in a lifetime experience and i'm wasting it being upset and aggrivated and frustrated and homesick.
i'll be over before i know it, and i'm going to be upset that i missed it.
this experience has taught me so much about myself. and how i have to deal with people, and deal with myself, and how as much as i never realized it, there are a few things i need to change about myself.
getting over drunk is not accaptable at all. and friday night is an example of that.
and being drunk when i'm already in a bad mood is even worse.
it's amazing how friendly, yet assholeish i become.
i loose my sense of boundry that i keep up all the other times. my "3-feet-of-personal-space" that no one better invade or i freak out.
a lot of people went to venice this weekend and ended up not staying in a hostel.
it seems like quite the experience and half of me wishes i went, just to get out, just to not feel so sheltared like i've been told that i am.
i need to break out of my shell, but not be so rude and protective of myself when i do.
and i need to not take everything so personally.
and it's so strange how i've been told this for so long now, and i feel like i should have already learned this lesson with a previous situation... and he was right about me.
it's amazing how the one person you think knows nothing about you, [despite how close you thought you were, beacause, fuck, you don't know anything about them] can tell you so much about you, and you hate hearing it, but they were right. and it makes you mad to know they were right.
it just sucks when someone picks apart all the negative things about you.
no one wants to hear that.
it hurts.
my heads a mess,
i have a huge test tomorrow in art history
and i can't bring myself to study for it.
over 150 images is so overwhelming, i don't even want to take it.
uggggh. i should just bite the bullet and study.
i got about another 4 weeks of class, and then the show, and then naples for a few days, and then, about 10 days with my family in italy.
this is insane. i remember when i was counting down 4 weeks until italy and i was freaking out, and excited and full of anticipation.
and im not sure whether or not i just want to go home or if i want to stay here.
i'm so torn.
and i keep having these dreams where i go home early and get so upset because i wasn't here long enough and didn't experience enough, or live enough and go all out like i should have.
maybe i should live it up a little more.
this is a once in a lifetime experience and i'm wasting it being upset and aggrivated and frustrated and homesick.
i'll be over before i know it, and i'm going to be upset that i missed it.
this experience has taught me so much about myself. and how i have to deal with people, and deal with myself, and how as much as i never realized it, there are a few things i need to change about myself.
getting over drunk is not accaptable at all. and friday night is an example of that.
and being drunk when i'm already in a bad mood is even worse.
it's amazing how friendly, yet assholeish i become.
i loose my sense of boundry that i keep up all the other times. my "3-feet-of-personal-space" that no one better invade or i freak out.
a lot of people went to venice this weekend and ended up not staying in a hostel.
it seems like quite the experience and half of me wishes i went, just to get out, just to not feel so sheltared like i've been told that i am.
i need to break out of my shell, but not be so rude and protective of myself when i do.
and i need to not take everything so personally.
and it's so strange how i've been told this for so long now, and i feel like i should have already learned this lesson with a previous situation... and he was right about me.
it's amazing how the one person you think knows nothing about you, [despite how close you thought you were, beacause, fuck, you don't know anything about them] can tell you so much about you, and you hate hearing it, but they were right. and it makes you mad to know they were right.
it just sucks when someone picks apart all the negative things about you.
no one wants to hear that.
it hurts.
my heads a mess,
i have a huge test tomorrow in art history
and i can't bring myself to study for it.
over 150 images is so overwhelming, i don't even want to take it.
uggggh. i should just bite the bullet and study.