The Eve
I haven't written in a while cause there's just been too much going on. And honestly, I don't really want to talk about any of it. But things are ok. in 7 and 1/2 hours, i'll be 21. Yay. Don't get me wrong, i'm totally excited (otherwise i wouldn't be counting down), i've just been at work for the last 10 hrs. so my energy level has substantially dwindled. One thing i've learned though in the 21 years of life; people are people no matter who they are or where they're from. I love all my friends, and my family, and there have been numerous people who have impacted my life. But life is a cycle. It begins and ends continually, no matter who you are or where you're from. I guess a lot of things have lost their mystery.
Love, for instance, totally has lost everything. I loved, I lost, I continued to love, but lost more because of it. I'm skeptical now. I may act like i'm stupid a lot of the time, or play along with the "ditzy" thing, but that's just because i stop thinking. I get to the point where I don't want to think anymore, I don't want to be level-headed, because reality is just too painful sometimes.
There are those that say i'm beautiful, and others that say I'm ugly. There are those that think i'm a bitch, and those that think that I'm not. Some think I'm strong, some think I'm weak. It's all about perception. And some people never realize that. Unless you're in someone else's shoes, you don't know how they feel.
I had a friend come talk to me this week, about something that we had discussed last week, that had upset me. Last week he hadn't understood what I was talking about; why I would feel the way I did; have emotions towards something that had to be done, against someone that deserved it. We had a huge argument, where he thought i was being stupid. But I still felt, i still hurt; still felt pain, even for doing the right thing. This week, he came back to me, a similar situation has happened in his life, and though i'm not happy it had to happen to him, it's nice to see that someone was man enough to come back and admit that they were wrong. That there was another way of seeing the situation.
If we could all just do that; see each other's perspectives, there wouldn't be war, there wouldn't be arguments. There wouldn't be hatred and murder and every painful thing. Because we could think before it, and see things and feel things through that other person. But we don't; very few do, and those that do are most of the time forced to take action because of the ones that don't, who push their luck. I hate it. I hate all of it. And why do I stop thinking? For this very reason; what's the point of wasting your own life away worrying about the feelings of someone who couldn't give two shits about you're existence or what's better for you than what is better for them?
This basically somes up everything these days. Happy Birthday, Abbye.
Love, for instance, totally has lost everything. I loved, I lost, I continued to love, but lost more because of it. I'm skeptical now. I may act like i'm stupid a lot of the time, or play along with the "ditzy" thing, but that's just because i stop thinking. I get to the point where I don't want to think anymore, I don't want to be level-headed, because reality is just too painful sometimes.
There are those that say i'm beautiful, and others that say I'm ugly. There are those that think i'm a bitch, and those that think that I'm not. Some think I'm strong, some think I'm weak. It's all about perception. And some people never realize that. Unless you're in someone else's shoes, you don't know how they feel.
I had a friend come talk to me this week, about something that we had discussed last week, that had upset me. Last week he hadn't understood what I was talking about; why I would feel the way I did; have emotions towards something that had to be done, against someone that deserved it. We had a huge argument, where he thought i was being stupid. But I still felt, i still hurt; still felt pain, even for doing the right thing. This week, he came back to me, a similar situation has happened in his life, and though i'm not happy it had to happen to him, it's nice to see that someone was man enough to come back and admit that they were wrong. That there was another way of seeing the situation.
If we could all just do that; see each other's perspectives, there wouldn't be war, there wouldn't be arguments. There wouldn't be hatred and murder and every painful thing. Because we could think before it, and see things and feel things through that other person. But we don't; very few do, and those that do are most of the time forced to take action because of the ones that don't, who push their luck. I hate it. I hate all of it. And why do I stop thinking? For this very reason; what's the point of wasting your own life away worrying about the feelings of someone who couldn't give two shits about you're existence or what's better for you than what is better for them?
This basically somes up everything these days. Happy Birthday, Abbye.