I FEEL HELLA DUMB!!!
Well... I just got an e-mail from my Chemistry teacher saying that I failed two tests already so I have to drop the class. I really tried in this class but I guess just not hard enough. It makes me feel really dumb though because I have never tried this hard in school to get an F. Ok let me refrase that.... I have never gotten an F... if I put effort into the class... but this class is different. Whatever.... it makes me not want to go to school anymore.. and it makes me feel like I wasted my summer because I could have been taking some easy class to get it out of the way but now... what are my options... to work. At least I should be happy that I have a job and money... and a house to live in... and that my boyfriend is here with me everyday. I really wanted this class to work out though. Oh well... I guess just some things weren't meant to be. Next semester I will have to take Chemistry and they will go slower for all the retard people like myself. At least I am still going to school and making something of my life. So... yesterday Ben scared the shit out of me. He called me right after I got off of work and said that he was in a tow truck. I thought that maybe for some reason he car didn't start, but he said that he fell asleep and ran off into a ditch. I am so glad that he is ok and that nothing happened to him. It could have been so much worse. I love Ben so much. I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. All the time I was waiting for him to come home... all I could think about was how glad I was that nothing happened to him. It is at moments like that when you realize how much you love someone. When he got home I didn't ask him anything about it because I figured that he didn't want to talk about it or he would have. That is a lot to go through.. and when I made him laugh he just looked so happy that I didn't want to take that feeling away from him by asking him to explain what happened. So I will ask him in the future.... but until then... I will just have to wonder about the details. Ben bought me the purse that matched my wallet today. I love it. It is so cute and it is just the type of purse that I like... you know the small ones with a little strap that fits right underneath your arm. Yeah I think those purses are so cute. Oh yeah and the Chemistry teacher also wrote that Ben and I had inapproaite behavior because we were showing too much affection in class. I know that Ben and I show a lot of affection, but I see nothing wrong with it and I should be able to show him how I feel now matter where we go. I see nothing wrong with a little kissing. Anyway.... it doesn't matter anymore because I am not going to be in the class. I hope he doesn't partner up with the big booty girl. I hate when he looks at her butt. I know my ass is fucking tiny... but why make an even bigger issue when there is a butt six times the size of mine in the same room. I would never want a butt that big... but shit... a little bigger wouldn't hurt either. Oh well... what happens... happens. And... I love Ben and he loves me and that is all that matters. SUMMER SUCKS>>> I want drugs and alcohol!!! How am I ever going to do anything with my life if that is what I want? Who knows!!! At least I am still trying to go to school and at least I have a job... and I am doing stuff with my life... unlike some other people. Maybe I am not way up at the top... but I am far from the bottom.