Stabby-Rip-Stab-Stab
So, I actually tried to update this last Friday, but then the WiFi went out at Bruegger's so I lost my post, and haven't bothered again since.
Anyway, So Mary got home from the Peace Corps a couple of weeks ago, but yesterday was the first time I got to see her. It was awesome, shes so funny. For example, I called her house and the conversation went something like this
"Hey Mary, its Mal, what are you doing today?"
"Absolutely nothing. Where are you?"
"I'm at school right now but I get out at 2:30, do you want to do something later?
"Yeah sure, but I'm in AP-which you probably know since this is a land line"
Its nice to know that two years in some desert village of Mauritania hasn't turned her into a pretentious hippie, those are the worst kinds.
So, we went up to that silly Broadcast Booth bar and had a couple of beers and talked for while. Talking to Mary really cemented what was becoming painfully apparent, I am in desperate need of a new scene. Its depressing really. The last time I spoke with so-and-so he was doing pretty well, finished his community service, his outpatient rehab, and was still off the booze. Oh her? Yeah, I don't know what to do about the fact she's completely off the deep end and more or less a complete junkie, its not like we can force her to help herself. Did you hear that Joey is in the army? Thats a last resort at rehab. In fact, the only people who are doing reasonably well are the people that got the hell out of DownRiver. What happened?
Ann Arbor really isn't much better. Luckily, most of them aren't snorting poison, but I still don't feel like "at home" there anymore. My best friend is gone, which gives an awkward feeling to every party. Dan and I have been reduced to mostly online friends, with the occasional group bar night intertwined. While I'm happy for him, that whole "I'm really into the fact that I finally have a girlfriend thing" kinda sucks sometimes. Weaver and Josh mostly do their own thing, and while we've always been friends, they were never the kind I told my secrets to.
And then there is him. What am I doing? Yes, he's my best friend, but I've never had a best friend that I've been exclusively "with" for 17 months before. Sometimes things are good, mostly when we're alone. I can tell him anything, and we have great conversations. We're interested in most of the same things. We haven't really fought lately until last night. We fight nearly every time we go out in a group. I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore; its always the same thing. He wanders off, hits on every girl in the bar, and claims that his failure to introduce me or even acknowledge my presence (even when I'm standing right next to him at the table) is mere chance. Why do I bother? I've given this a lot of thought over the past couple of weeks, and I think I've come up with, at least, a relative truth. He is my best friend, and a lot of the time we do get along great. However, I do know from all of the fighting that he's not the one. I think my reluctance to change things at this point stem from the fact that I will be graduating soon, and things will mostly likely forced to change then when I move someplace new.
someplace new...a change of scene.
And thats the word.
Anyway, So Mary got home from the Peace Corps a couple of weeks ago, but yesterday was the first time I got to see her. It was awesome, shes so funny. For example, I called her house and the conversation went something like this
"Hey Mary, its Mal, what are you doing today?"
"Absolutely nothing. Where are you?"
"I'm at school right now but I get out at 2:30, do you want to do something later?
"Yeah sure, but I'm in AP-which you probably know since this is a land line"
Its nice to know that two years in some desert village of Mauritania hasn't turned her into a pretentious hippie, those are the worst kinds.
So, we went up to that silly Broadcast Booth bar and had a couple of beers and talked for while. Talking to Mary really cemented what was becoming painfully apparent, I am in desperate need of a new scene. Its depressing really. The last time I spoke with so-and-so he was doing pretty well, finished his community service, his outpatient rehab, and was still off the booze. Oh her? Yeah, I don't know what to do about the fact she's completely off the deep end and more or less a complete junkie, its not like we can force her to help herself. Did you hear that Joey is in the army? Thats a last resort at rehab. In fact, the only people who are doing reasonably well are the people that got the hell out of DownRiver. What happened?
Ann Arbor really isn't much better. Luckily, most of them aren't snorting poison, but I still don't feel like "at home" there anymore. My best friend is gone, which gives an awkward feeling to every party. Dan and I have been reduced to mostly online friends, with the occasional group bar night intertwined. While I'm happy for him, that whole "I'm really into the fact that I finally have a girlfriend thing" kinda sucks sometimes. Weaver and Josh mostly do their own thing, and while we've always been friends, they were never the kind I told my secrets to.
And then there is him. What am I doing? Yes, he's my best friend, but I've never had a best friend that I've been exclusively "with" for 17 months before. Sometimes things are good, mostly when we're alone. I can tell him anything, and we have great conversations. We're interested in most of the same things. We haven't really fought lately until last night. We fight nearly every time we go out in a group. I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore; its always the same thing. He wanders off, hits on every girl in the bar, and claims that his failure to introduce me or even acknowledge my presence (even when I'm standing right next to him at the table) is mere chance. Why do I bother? I've given this a lot of thought over the past couple of weeks, and I think I've come up with, at least, a relative truth. He is my best friend, and a lot of the time we do get along great. However, I do know from all of the fighting that he's not the one. I think my reluctance to change things at this point stem from the fact that I will be graduating soon, and things will mostly likely forced to change then when I move someplace new.
someplace new...a change of scene.
And thats the word.