Fanfic: Heartbeat
Title- Heartbeat
Fandom- Suits
Ship- Harvey/Mike
Rating- PG-13
Genre- hurt/comfort, slash
Warnings- unbetaed
Wordcount- 3000
Disclaimer- I do not own Suits
Summary- Harvey finds out that Mike has a heart condition.
A/N- written for a prompt here at suitsmeme : Mike has a heart condition. Harvey finds out and frets in a very Harvey-ish way (ie. not showing anything on the outside but silently freaking the fuck out). One day, after a very stressful case or something along those lines, Mike collapses. This time Harvey really does freak the fuck out in front of everyone at the office (ie. the whole "don't-give-a-damn-about-anyone" attitude is BLOWN.
Harvey was walking past the associates’ cubicles to his office when he noticed movement from Mike’s part of the room. He glanced over just as the younger lawyer tossed back a pill and washed it down with a bottle of water. Curiosity getting the better of him, Harvey went over to Mike’s cubicle and stood behind him, watching as Mike set down the bottle and wiped his mouth with his sleeve before opening a file and starting to work. Harvey spotted an orange bottle at Mike’s elbow, and he reached out and snatched it up.
“Hey!” Mike cried in surprise, but Harvey ignored him, squinting at the label on the bottle. He didn’t recognize the drug.
“What is this?” Harvey asked.
“A prescription heart medication,” Mike replied shortly, snatching it back from Harvey’s hand.
“Why would someone your age need heart medication?”
“Look, I have a condition, okay?” Mike sighed. “It kind of runs in my family; my dad had it, and his, but it’s manageable. Now, please?”
“Okay, okay.” Harvey said, smiling at Mike’s annoyance with him. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turned and went back to his office, glancing back once to see Mike once more engrossed in his work. Harvey set his briefcase on his desk and pulled out some paperwork. He started to read through it, but his mind kept going back to the bottle of pills he’d seen Mike take. He couldn’t help but wonder what “condition” Mike could have, especially at his young age. Harvey debated whether or not he should ask Mike more about it, though he thought the other man probably wouldn’t want to answer. Finally Harvey convinced himself that, as Mike’s boss, it was his business to know about anything that might affect his associate’s ability to work, including medical conditions. Thus justified, Harvey opened his laptop and did a quick internet search for the name of the drug.
What Harvey found truly scared him. The medication Mike was taking had been prescribed for an arrhythmia, or abnormal heartbeat. Specifically, it was for tachycardia, an elevated heart rate of more than 100 beats per minute while at rest. Sometimes the irregular heartbeat was constant; other times, the patient had a normal heart rate except for certain occasions, such as times of stress. The condition, Harvey found, could lead to heart failure because it weakened the muscles of the heart, but it could also keep blood from flowing properly to the brain because the fast, weak beats didn’t have the force to send blood throughout the body.
The medication Mike was taking was intended to slow his heart rate, to keep it within normal levels, but that came with its risks too. If the blood moved too slowly, it could form clots and cause a stroke. The medication wasn’t always completely effective, however, and patients needed to see their doctors frequently to have their dosage raised or lowered as needed. Harvey’s keen lawyer’s mind quickly found reports of deaths from numerous complications; from the drug not working well enough and the fast heartbeat killing someone, from it working too well and slowing the heart to the point that blood didn’t circulate, from strokes or heart attacks due to clots that formed when the blood moved too slowly. They were small percentages of study participants, small enough that if he had represented the company he would have argued that it was nothing but coincidence, but when it was Mike taking the pills it was an entirely different matter.
Harvey had the sudden and irrational urge to run to Mike’s cubicle and press his ear to the younger man’s chest, just to make certain his heartbeat sounded normal. Harvey realized that his own heart rate had increased, and he forced himself to relax. This was ridiculous. Mike was fine. He had taken his medication, medication he was probably seeing his doctor about to make sure he was taking the proper dose, so there was no reason for Harvey to worry. All the same, Harvey felt a vague sense of nervousness as he closed the internet page and tried to get back to work. He couldn’t help but worry about what might happen to Mike.
For the rest of the week, Harvey paid special attention to Mike’s health. He didn’t ask directly how Mike was feeling, of course, but he kept an eye out for any signs that the medication wasn’t working and the irregular heartbeat was still there- pallor, shortness of breath, sweating. He educated himself on the causes, symptoms, and risks of the different types of arrhythmias and tachycardias, because he had no idea what exactly Mike had. He watched Mike like a hawk, checking that he took his medication at the same time every morning and making certain he wasn’t under too much pressure. Harvey didn’t want anything to happen that might cause Mike’s heart rate to increase. Mornings were the worst, when Mike arrived at the office after riding his bike to work, often breathing hard, and it was all Harvey could do to keep from following Mike around all morning. It took a good hour of even breathing for Harvey to stop worrying Mike would pass out at any second.
Harvey had thought he was being discrete about his monitoring of Mike’s health, but even though Mike seemed oblivious, it was clear that Donna wasn’t. After a week of Harvey hovering over Mike as often as he could, Donna came into his office and sat down across from him. “Why are you suddenly acting like a helicopter mom with her precious first born?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Harvey scoffed, trying not to break eye contact. Donna could read him better than anyone he knew, except maybe Jessica.
“You’re up to something, Harvey, don’t think I haven’t noticed. Why are you keeping such a close watch on Mike lately?” Harvey remained stubbornly silent, and she crossed her arms. “Of course, I could always bring it to his attention, ask him what he’s done to make you worry.”
“Don’t tell him,” Harvey sighed. He knew he was defeated. Donna raised an eyebrow, and Harvey spilled the whole story, about seeing Mike’s medication, researching the name and finding out what it was for, trying to watch over Mike to make sure he wasn’t going to go into ventricular fibrillation, the worst type of tachycardia, which could cause death in minutes. Donna frowned as he explained, and shook her head when he finished.
“Harvey, as young as he looks, Mike is a grown man. He’s been on his own for years. He’s got medicine; he’s seeing his doctor. He can handle his own medical conditions. He doesn’t need you monitoring him, and you’re only putting more stress on yourself by trying to.” Harvey just shook his head, and Donna sighed as she rose from her chair and left.
Harvey tried to take Donna’s advice. He tried to stop watching over Mike, and to trust him to take care of himself. By the end of the second week, Harvey had mellowed a little, to the point that he wouldn’t go out of his way to check on Mike. Glancing over him to check if he was breathing hard or looked pale, however, had become almost second nature, and Harvey did it automatically every time he saw Mike. And he still worried about the younger man biking to work every morning.
Then they caught a difficult case, worse than the ones they’d been dealing with the previous weeks since Harvey had become aware of Mike’s condition. He intentionally tried to take more work himself, so as not to overload Mike, but he knew Mike felt the pressure they were under just as much as he did. Mike finished the work Harvey had assigned and volunteered to do more, passionate about the client and her plight. Harvey couldn’t help the admiration he felt for Mike’s selflessness any more than he could help the rush of worry he felt at the thought of Mike overworking himself and putting strain on his heart. Harvey gave Mike more work to do, but insisted that Mike stay with him in his office while they both worked late, so he could keep an eye on him.
Much to Harvey’s relief, they won the case without any negative effects on Mike’s health. He gave the younger man a proud nod as they to their respective desks from the conference room, and Mike beamed up at him. Harvey noticed that Mike’s face looked flushed, and his breathing seemed to be coming quickly. Harvey’s first thought was that Mike was excited because Harvey was proud of him, but then with a sickening jolt the memory of Mike’s condition slammed into the forefront of his mind, and Harvey started to panic inside.
Harvey reached out and put a hand on the younger man’s arm, and Mike gave him a questioning look. Harvey tried to calm himself, although he knew his own heart was racing at the thought of what Mike’s might be doing. Mike was only a little out of breath now; that was nothing to get panicked over, Harvey told himself.
Then he saw the confused look in Mike’s eyes fade to a blank one, and the other man’s eyes rolled back in his head as he collapsed. Harvey’s hand on Mike’s arm did nothing to steady him; Harvey was too stunned to do anything and Mike dropped to the floor in front of him. He hesitated for a second, his mind scrambling to process what had happened, and then it clicked and he was down on his knees, rolling Mike over and pressing his fingers to his neck in search of a pulse.
“Mike?!” Harvey cried, although he knew the other man couldn’t hear him. “Mike?!” His fingers were shaking too badly to feel anything, so the laid his ear over Mike’s chest. What he heard wasn’t a steady heartbeat, but one so accelerated that it was almost a single drawn out noise.
Harvey didn’t know what to do. Even though he’d read everything he could get his hands on to know how to deal with this, he had no idea what to do now that it was actually happening. People were crowding around him asking what had happened, and he could hear someone on the phone with a 911 operator, but it all sounded muffled and far away.
“Harvey!” Donna’s voice cried as she shoved her way through the crowd and knelt on the other side of Mike. “He needs CPR!” She started to put her hands over Mike’s chest, but Harvey had been brought out of his state of shock by her voice. He pushed Donna’s hands away.
“I’ll do it,” Harvey said quickly. Donna nodded, her eyes wide. “Find a defibrillator,” Harvey told her. “There must be one somewhere in this building!” Donna scrambled to her feet and fought back through the crowd, while Harvey started the chest compressions. He counted off three beats and hesitated, wondering if he should breathe into Mike’s mouth. This was a heart problem, not a breathing one, but he couldn’t remember if any of the sources he’d read had said anything about it. Hesitating was driving him mad; Harvey knew he had to do something, so he went along with what he’d always learned CPR was, complete with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
With the decision made, Harvey didn’t hesitate at all to seal his mouth over Mike’s in the middle of a room full of people. He put one hand over Mike’s nose and breathed into his mouth, laying his other hand on Mike’s chest to feel it rise as his lungs inflated. Mike’s body jolted, and Harvey sprang back, watching with wide eyes as Mike coughed and gasped, his eyes flying open.
Donna dropped to the ground next to them with a portable defibrillator, ready to shock Mike if he passed out again. “I’m fine,” Mike wheezed, though he writhed on the floor as if in pain. “I’m fine.”
Harvey pulled Mike close and pressed his fingers to Mike’s neck again, feeling for his pulse. It was fast, but probably no faster than Harvey’s. He could feel the individual beats instead of a single continuous vibrating against his fingers. Relieved beyond words, Harvey pulled Mike against his chest and cradles him close, keeping his fingers on Mike’s neck to feel his heart rate. As Harvey’s heartbeat pounding in his ears slowed, he felt Mike’s pulse slow as well, and he breathed a sigh of relief.
Harvey was dimly aware of Donna standing up and chasing the crowd away, but most of his attention was on Mike. He felt his pulse, listened to his breathing, feeling like his whole world depended on those vital signs of his young associate. Harvey kissed Mike’s hair and rocked him back and forth as Mike closed his eyes and tried to calm down. Finally Harvey felt Mike go limp in his arms, and the younger man breathed out a slow and shaky sigh.
Harvey cleared his throat. “How… how are you feeling now?”
“Well, I don’t think I’m going to die,” Mike replied, trying to create humor, though it fell flat when spoken in his raw voice.
“We didn’t even shock you,” Harvey murmured. “I didn’t think V-fib could be stopped with CPR.”
“A-fib,” Mike said. “Atrial fibrillation. It’s not nearly as life-threatening as V-fib. It usually only lasts a few minutes before going back to normal, at least in my case.”
“Shh,” Harvey soothed, putting a finger to Mike’s lips. “Don’t talk; just rest.” Mike seemed to consider it for a moment, then nodded, his eyes falling shut tiredly. Harvey continued to hold Mike, stroking his hair and whispering calming things. He couldn’t bear to let go of Mike just yet.
“Harvey,” Donna’s voice said gently. “Are you going to take him to the hospital?” Harvey considered the question, looking down at Mike’s sleeping face.
“Maybe after work. For now I think he just needs to rest.” Harvey picked Mike up and carried him to his office, and Donna slipped behind her desk to guard the door. Harvey sat on his couch with Mike cradled against him, still not ready to put him down. As he began to feel Mike’s weight, Harvey shifted to lie across the couch, Mike stretched out beside him. He positioned them so that his head rested against Mike’s chest, so he could listen to the beating of his heart. The sound soothed Harvey, and as the adrenaline wore off he soon found himself drifting to sleep as well.
Harvey woke to the feeling of movement next to him, and he tightened his arm around the body lying with him. He heard a soft moan and cracked open an eye, looking up to see whose chest he was pressed against. It was Mike, and the events of the day came back to him with such force Harvey was sure his own heart would start racing.
“Hey,” Mike whispered, giving him a sheepish smile.
“Don’t ‘hey’ me,” Harvey said incredulously. “Not after you almost died! Did you take your pill this morning?”
“I didn’t ‘almost die’,” Mike scoffed. “I have atrial fibrillation, Harvey, not ventricular. It’s not life-threatening, at least not usually. It only lasts a few minutes. And yes, I did take my medication.” Harvey shook his head, astounded by Mike’s nonchalant attitude towards something that had terrified Harvey. He grimaced as he thought of the breakdown he’d had in the middle of the company, surrounded by associates and partners. There would be no question in anyone’s mind how much he cared for his associate.
“You kissed me,” Mike said, and Harvey arched an eyebrow.
“I did not kiss you! I was preforming CPR!”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you put your mouth on mine in the middle of a room full of people.” Mike smirked, and Harvey scowled. “I love you too,” Mike said, and Harvey laughed despite himself.
“I love you,” he admitted with feigned reluctance. After his display earlier, there was no point in denying it. He leaned up and kissed Mike gently, then spoke again as they separated. “I guess we’d better get up now. I’m taking you to the hospital to get checked out.”
Mike grumbled about going to the hospital, but Harvey was adamant. He wasn’t about to let someone who had collapsed in front of him go back to work without being looked at by a professional. The doctor, just as Mike had told Harvey he would, said that there was no damage to Mike’s heart, and nothing to be done about it now except to adjust his dose of drugs.
Harvey found that Mike had been going to a walk-in clinic, and insisted that they would find him a new doctor, a specialist. Harvey brought Mike home with him that night, still unwilling to let Mike out of his sight, and Mike didn’t object. They slept in the same bed, Harvey with his head on Mike’s chest listening to his heartbeat. The next day they both took off of work to find Mike a new doctor, and Harvey still kept Mike at his apartment. It wasn’t until the third night after the incident that Harvey felt comfortable letting Mike return to his apartment.
When they returned to work, Harvey tried to behave gruffly towards their other coworkers to reestablish his heartless corporate lawyer persona, but he knew there was no point in acting that way with Mike. Everyone at the office already knew how much he cared. Within the next few days it had spread throughout the firm that they were dating. Within the next two weeks Harvey had managed to convince Mike to move in with him. But it took most of the month before Harvey stopped checking Mike’s pulse every chance he got, and stopped resting his head against Mike’s chest to listen to his heart in public. He knew that he couldn’t keep checking Mike’s heart in public, both because Mike was an adult and capable of caring for himself, and because of what their clients might think. Back at their apartment, however, Mike was more than willing to indulge Harvey whenever he wanted to check on him, and most nights Harvey fell asleep listening to the slow, steady beating of Mike’s heart.