It’s electrifying
I had a big post planned for today that was all tongue-in-cheek “10 Things You Need as a Writer” and was going to include items like “luxurious pajamas” and “somebody to throw a phone at”.
But my stepdad and I turned a simple adventure to hang my tv on a wall into an epic 8+ hour journey to clean up every problem area in Stately Wayne Manor, culminating in me almost being electrocuted by a vintage lamp with a faulty cord.
Now, the woman at the antique shop swore she’d plugged it in and tried it. Clearly she had not, because she was alive and not extra-crispy. I get the lamp home. The cord looks fine, the plug is fine, so I juice that sucker up and fizz pop snappppp FIRE SMOKE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE.
On the plus side, I know my fancy new circuit breaker works.
At first, we thought it might be the wiring, which is admittedly old to could-have-been-installed-by-Thomas-Edison. My electrician was very excited to see the old knob-and-tube wires in my attic. He’s a nerd.
But I plugged the lamp in with a plug I knew was good and whommmmmmm felt the voltage shiver through the wires and heard the distinct crackle of deadly electricity just looking for somebody to turn into a Spider-Man villain.
“Hey,” said my stepdad. “Do you know that lamp there has smoke coming out of it?”
So rewiring my pretty Art Deco lamp is our next father-daughter bonding project. Since neither of us got crushed by a giant television. Which I call a pretty good day.
Originally published at Caitlin Kittredge.com