*sigh*
so im sitting in my participation and government class today and my teacher takes out this article and starts talking about it. theres this woman in florida who is now 41 and she's been a vegitable for 15 years because her heart got fucked up and she suffered brain damage because of an eating disorder she had.
normally i would say like "oh wow that sucks." ya know like apathetic and cold to the world but i started thinking of the friends i have you suffer with this terrible problem. i mostly thought of chrissi. and im so sure shes sick of having everyone write about her in their journals. though my entries are much nicer. im not attacking her i know she knows that. but i wish i knew how she really was i wish i was physically there with her i wish i could just do SOMETHING for her. it makes me sick to see this wonderful person suffering so much. it hurts me to look at those pictures of her. her bones sticking out and this dead look in her eyes. If this doesnt stop we're going to lose her. i may never get the chance to meet her. i may never get to england to be with her. i dont want that to happen. people think im crazy that i can care about someone so much that i've never met but i just have this strong connection with her. i was her to be happy i want everything to be okay with her. i want her to look in the mirror and see what the rest of us see. to see the bones and the death creeping up on her. all she sees is fat and ugliness. its not fair. its not fair that her mind is so warped that she cant see she's dying.
i dont want her to end up like that woman in florida. i dont want my first meeting with her to be in a hospital with a tube shoved down her throat and iv's running in and out of her arms. im scared. why cant someone just save her. why cant something be done. why cant she help herself why cant she SEE whats really happening to her.
ugh. i know that no one can save her. and it hurts because i want to so badly. i know nothing can happen until she's ready i just wish it would happen.
chrissi this isnt an attack and it certainly isnt the way other people would put it. but you need help you really REALLY need help and your going to die if you dont get it.
im so scared.
normally i would say like "oh wow that sucks." ya know like apathetic and cold to the world but i started thinking of the friends i have you suffer with this terrible problem. i mostly thought of chrissi. and im so sure shes sick of having everyone write about her in their journals. though my entries are much nicer. im not attacking her i know she knows that. but i wish i knew how she really was i wish i was physically there with her i wish i could just do SOMETHING for her. it makes me sick to see this wonderful person suffering so much. it hurts me to look at those pictures of her. her bones sticking out and this dead look in her eyes. If this doesnt stop we're going to lose her. i may never get the chance to meet her. i may never get to england to be with her. i dont want that to happen. people think im crazy that i can care about someone so much that i've never met but i just have this strong connection with her. i was her to be happy i want everything to be okay with her. i want her to look in the mirror and see what the rest of us see. to see the bones and the death creeping up on her. all she sees is fat and ugliness. its not fair. its not fair that her mind is so warped that she cant see she's dying.
i dont want her to end up like that woman in florida. i dont want my first meeting with her to be in a hospital with a tube shoved down her throat and iv's running in and out of her arms. im scared. why cant someone just save her. why cant something be done. why cant she help herself why cant she SEE whats really happening to her.
ugh. i know that no one can save her. and it hurts because i want to so badly. i know nothing can happen until she's ready i just wish it would happen.
chrissi this isnt an attack and it certainly isnt the way other people would put it. but you need help you really REALLY need help and your going to die if you dont get it.
im so scared.