My personal fanon (Sam Seaborn, Toby Ziegler, Josh Lyman, Simon Tam)
I reserve the right to add more to these as they come to me. And if anyone is interested in another character, feel free to ask. It's this or revision anyway...
Oh, and fairly obviously, spoilers for the entirety of both of my closed canon shows. (I'm still not sure where I fall on the closed canon is a good thing/bad thing debate.) And slashy implications, which really should surprise no one.
ThreeFive "facts" about Sam Seaborn:
1. His bookcase. Well, Sam has a lot of bookcases. He still has more books than he has shelf-space, but that's an occupational hazard. There is a shelf on one of these (Classic fiction, by author, D. Driving the ladies wild with your alphabet-fu, CJ says) with two copies of each book. Charles Dickens, the complete works, in chronological order. All exactly the same height, neatly bound in green leather with gilding. A gift from Lisa, on their first anniversary. Alongside them sit the complete works again, in the same order, misshapen and worn and all different heights and colours; the collection of his teens. The only book Toby bought Sam that he already owned was a dictionary, and this one is much heavier than any of his own. Almost too heavy to lift, but it sits on the floor by his desk anyway, seldom making it back to the shelf. There is a space on the bookshelf at Z that he never fills, waiting.
2. He tripped over his feet the first time he saw CJ Cregg. She only reminded him about this for about the first two months of the campaign, so it's possible she's forgotten by now. He's glad of that, because he really doesn't want to have to explain what went through his head when he saw her. That the word which flitted, unthinking, into his brain was not "film-star" but "Goddess".
3. He really doesn't know when they're looking. Sam has knowingly seduced one person in his life, and that was the only one who was most definitely looking. The women all had to speak to him first, or at least raise a glass so clearly that even he could not miss the signals. Josh had simply stared at the back of Sam's head until he had turned around. He still doesn't know what Josh had been afraid of - Sam has seen him come on to women plenty scarier than Sam was at twenty-three, or would ever be later - but Josh hadn't moved. Sam had lifted his drink, and walked over to Josh. Terrified, but doing it anyway.
4. He knew Toby's writing before he knew Toby. Suspects this may have coloured all future interactions with the man he cannot quite cure himself of worshiping but can't really bring himself to care. Toby is his favourite writer, and Sam does not mind especially that he will forever be introducing Toby as "my bosspartner Toby Ziegler".
5. He wants, very badly, to leave a mark. Not for the recognition, and not for the history books, but because he has always striven for meaning and this seems to be it. He loves the words, and he loves his friends, and it strikes him as unfair that he cannot be loyal to these loves as well as the other need. But when the President says, "you're going to run for President one day," there is a click, sudden and profound. He still doesn't know how to square political necessity with personal feeling, but he's not finished trying yet.
Three "facts" about Toby Ziegler:
1. David may have told him about the shuttle, and CJ certainly did, but President Bartlet told him first. Over chess and scotch and, My friend, you would not believe the secrets I have to keep, over here in this office. Toby hadn't said much that night - this new/old camaraderie too fragile to risk - but he had stored it up in his head. He had never thought to have to use it, had not realised he would have to say it because his President wouldn't, but that's not the part he regrets.
2. He sends Julie pictures of the twins. Still isn't quite ready to let his father see them, though he doesn't think Andy would mind. He doesn't want to look from his father to himself, to his little boy who is just old enough to be starting to understand. There are connections he doesn't want to draw.
3. Josh was not the first one to get in touch. There had been a string of answer-machine messages that began, Toby... God, Toby, and ended, Call me back. By the seventh message they ended, Call me back, please, Toby. There was, he knew, something a little perverse in resenting Sam's revived interest in his life. If it had been the other way round, if he had been like CJ and Josh and had chosen to ignore him for a while after it happened, that would make sense. But he does not want Sam's pity and he cannot take his disappointment (like the President's anger, like Andrea's sadness), so he doesn't answer. The same day Josh casually announces "Hey, Sam's in town", he gets a knock on his door. He is as absurdly angry with Sam for not hiding himself in sunglasses as he had been with Josh for wearing them. He still lets him in the door.
Three "facts" about Josh Lyman:
1. Sam Seaborn was not the first man Josh kissed. The Fulbright letter is in a box somewhere, and everytime Josh finds it again, and tries to smooth out the creases, he sees Danny Concanon pulling the thing off Josh's head with an exasperated laugh. Crumpling it in his hand when Josh had whooped in his friend's ear and rolled the two of them around and against the wall.
2. He has never felt like a leader of men. Josh has always been happier being the man behind the man - the fact that this invariably entails responsibility for other people is the part that he hates. He wants to do his part, to fix things, to make the world better, but with every, Sure, I can do that, comes another person whose job depends on Josh doing his. All these strings attached, and if he falls he pulls them all down with him. He could try and stop it - saw frantically at the threads - but he knows that then there would be no place for him at all, and that is somehow worse than forever treading this knife-edge of panic.
3. He does not think of himself as bisexual, even taking (1) into account. There was, he always knew, some indefinable difference between Danny (and Sam, and Matt, and even Toby, in an abstract way) and Mandy, Amy, Sarah, Joey... It is only much, much later, when even he can't deny that this is happening, this thing with him and Donna, that it occurs to him that it might not be that different at all.
Three "facts" about Simon Tam:
1. He really did break River out of the facility himself. That was the "luck" part of the explanation he gave Mal. He doesn't think of it as any more heroic than the expenditure half of the equation, and fully believes that both his money and his luck were used up that day. He doesn't think of anything he's done after that as particularly heroic either - it has always been what he had to do, and there are days he hates himself for not doing it faster.
2. He misses Wash. Isn't sure he has the right to miss him like this, like he was a part of the family too, but jobs always took forever when they were waiting for bad news. And there were plenty of long dusty afternoons when River was asleep, or safe to be left, or on the mission herself, and Simon could sit with Wash in the cockpit. Wash had been a core-dweller too, though his home had been nothing like Simon's, and they were neither of them quite used to dry border worlds where shooting first was the philosophy. Simon misses that.
3. He thinks he loves Serenity more than Kaylee. Not in the way that Mal does, and not that he wouldn't lose the ship to save the girl. But guiltily, in the way that means he takes comfort from the humming engines, from River's laugh echoing in the cargo hold, from his ordered medical bay and Mal's firm hand on his shoulder. That home has come to mean this as much as it means Kaylee's warm embrace.
Oh, and fairly obviously, spoilers for the entirety of both of my closed canon shows. (I'm still not sure where I fall on the closed canon is a good thing/bad thing debate.) And slashy implications, which really should surprise no one.
ThreeFive "facts" about Sam Seaborn:
1. His bookcase. Well, Sam has a lot of bookcases. He still has more books than he has shelf-space, but that's an occupational hazard. There is a shelf on one of these (Classic fiction, by author, D. Driving the ladies wild with your alphabet-fu, CJ says) with two copies of each book. Charles Dickens, the complete works, in chronological order. All exactly the same height, neatly bound in green leather with gilding. A gift from Lisa, on their first anniversary. Alongside them sit the complete works again, in the same order, misshapen and worn and all different heights and colours; the collection of his teens. The only book Toby bought Sam that he already owned was a dictionary, and this one is much heavier than any of his own. Almost too heavy to lift, but it sits on the floor by his desk anyway, seldom making it back to the shelf. There is a space on the bookshelf at Z that he never fills, waiting.
2. He tripped over his feet the first time he saw CJ Cregg. She only reminded him about this for about the first two months of the campaign, so it's possible she's forgotten by now. He's glad of that, because he really doesn't want to have to explain what went through his head when he saw her. That the word which flitted, unthinking, into his brain was not "film-star" but "Goddess".
3. He really doesn't know when they're looking. Sam has knowingly seduced one person in his life, and that was the only one who was most definitely looking. The women all had to speak to him first, or at least raise a glass so clearly that even he could not miss the signals. Josh had simply stared at the back of Sam's head until he had turned around. He still doesn't know what Josh had been afraid of - Sam has seen him come on to women plenty scarier than Sam was at twenty-three, or would ever be later - but Josh hadn't moved. Sam had lifted his drink, and walked over to Josh. Terrified, but doing it anyway.
4. He knew Toby's writing before he knew Toby. Suspects this may have coloured all future interactions with the man he cannot quite cure himself of worshiping but can't really bring himself to care. Toby is his favourite writer, and Sam does not mind especially that he will forever be introducing Toby as "my bosspartner Toby Ziegler".
5. He wants, very badly, to leave a mark. Not for the recognition, and not for the history books, but because he has always striven for meaning and this seems to be it. He loves the words, and he loves his friends, and it strikes him as unfair that he cannot be loyal to these loves as well as the other need. But when the President says, "you're going to run for President one day," there is a click, sudden and profound. He still doesn't know how to square political necessity with personal feeling, but he's not finished trying yet.
Three "facts" about Toby Ziegler:
1. David may have told him about the shuttle, and CJ certainly did, but President Bartlet told him first. Over chess and scotch and, My friend, you would not believe the secrets I have to keep, over here in this office. Toby hadn't said much that night - this new/old camaraderie too fragile to risk - but he had stored it up in his head. He had never thought to have to use it, had not realised he would have to say it because his President wouldn't, but that's not the part he regrets.
2. He sends Julie pictures of the twins. Still isn't quite ready to let his father see them, though he doesn't think Andy would mind. He doesn't want to look from his father to himself, to his little boy who is just old enough to be starting to understand. There are connections he doesn't want to draw.
3. Josh was not the first one to get in touch. There had been a string of answer-machine messages that began, Toby... God, Toby, and ended, Call me back. By the seventh message they ended, Call me back, please, Toby. There was, he knew, something a little perverse in resenting Sam's revived interest in his life. If it had been the other way round, if he had been like CJ and Josh and had chosen to ignore him for a while after it happened, that would make sense. But he does not want Sam's pity and he cannot take his disappointment (like the President's anger, like Andrea's sadness), so he doesn't answer. The same day Josh casually announces "Hey, Sam's in town", he gets a knock on his door. He is as absurdly angry with Sam for not hiding himself in sunglasses as he had been with Josh for wearing them. He still lets him in the door.
Three "facts" about Josh Lyman:
1. Sam Seaborn was not the first man Josh kissed. The Fulbright letter is in a box somewhere, and everytime Josh finds it again, and tries to smooth out the creases, he sees Danny Concanon pulling the thing off Josh's head with an exasperated laugh. Crumpling it in his hand when Josh had whooped in his friend's ear and rolled the two of them around and against the wall.
2. He has never felt like a leader of men. Josh has always been happier being the man behind the man - the fact that this invariably entails responsibility for other people is the part that he hates. He wants to do his part, to fix things, to make the world better, but with every, Sure, I can do that, comes another person whose job depends on Josh doing his. All these strings attached, and if he falls he pulls them all down with him. He could try and stop it - saw frantically at the threads - but he knows that then there would be no place for him at all, and that is somehow worse than forever treading this knife-edge of panic.
3. He does not think of himself as bisexual, even taking (1) into account. There was, he always knew, some indefinable difference between Danny (and Sam, and Matt, and even Toby, in an abstract way) and Mandy, Amy, Sarah, Joey... It is only much, much later, when even he can't deny that this is happening, this thing with him and Donna, that it occurs to him that it might not be that different at all.
Three "facts" about Simon Tam:
1. He really did break River out of the facility himself. That was the "luck" part of the explanation he gave Mal. He doesn't think of it as any more heroic than the expenditure half of the equation, and fully believes that both his money and his luck were used up that day. He doesn't think of anything he's done after that as particularly heroic either - it has always been what he had to do, and there are days he hates himself for not doing it faster.
2. He misses Wash. Isn't sure he has the right to miss him like this, like he was a part of the family too, but jobs always took forever when they were waiting for bad news. And there were plenty of long dusty afternoons when River was asleep, or safe to be left, or on the mission herself, and Simon could sit with Wash in the cockpit. Wash had been a core-dweller too, though his home had been nothing like Simon's, and they were neither of them quite used to dry border worlds where shooting first was the philosophy. Simon misses that.
3. He thinks he loves Serenity more than Kaylee. Not in the way that Mal does, and not that he wouldn't lose the ship to save the girl. But guiltily, in the way that means he takes comfort from the humming engines, from River's laugh echoing in the cargo hold, from his ordered medical bay and Mal's firm hand on his shoulder. That home has come to mean this as much as it means Kaylee's warm embrace.