The Poseurs' Lounge
Try this: Go to a mall, sit down in Starbucks or somewhere in the food court. For a while, just for a short while, go people-watching. Observe the people around you. Watch as the society unfurls around you. You’ll see hordes of diverse people, of all ages, and of all conceivable characters. You’ll see multitude students from different universities and colleges, families, societal cliques, professionals, et al-the list is endless. But then again, I’m quite sure that during that short sum of time you conferred to scrutinize the individuals around you, you were able to spot people who’re incarcerated by vogues, brands, subcultures, and whatnot. Yes, they are everywhere: People whose dignities are enslaved by tacit norms of acceptance; People who’re otherwise known as posers. And like everything else, even poseurs have classifications. Here are some of the most hyped poseur categories almost everybody is on familiar terms with:
FIRST STOP : EMWHORES and RAKERS
You’ll either see them in big clusters walking around, carrying auras that seemed to bawl how proud they are of their conceited selves, or alone, demonstrating unto the humankind how forlorn and dejected they are. Their usual get-up are as follows: skinny jeans (usually, but not limited to, color black), hoodies, slogan shirts, chains around their waists (for that edgy touch), lots and lotsa accessories (you name it: cuffs, beads, leather strips, hair scrunchies, silvers, spikes, et cetera), chucks-better if customized and personalized (meaning: modification via defacement and despoliation), the classic daunting eyeliner, gargantuan headsets around their necks, the dramatic bangs and, of course, the posture. Too bad they lack some specific stuff to complete their look: (a) Knowledge about the subculture/genre of music they decided to make a façade out of; and (b) a nametag around their necks screaming the words: EMO or ROCKER. Now that would be brilliant. No, seriously, they give rock music and people who have actual emotional disorders bad reputations.
SECOND STOP : SOCIAL CLIMBERS
Ahh yes, social climbers: Probably one of the oldest poseur categories on the face of this earth. These people, usually, but not limited to, females, are those who try so bloody hard to fit in with the “it” crowd that they actually go to unbelievable, sometimes almost astounding, extents of mendacity and pretense just to be well-received by the elites. Believe it or not, Social climbers are everywhere: in schools, offices, malls, bars, parties, even within close circle of friends. Want a simple paradigm? Okay, so your class has this out-of-town educational trip-and of course, you’ll have a stop over. Then, you and your friends decide to grab some frappucinos at Starbucks, and then this classmate of yours joins in. This classmate of yours, even though she doesn’t have much money, still buys herself a tall frappe. Now ask yourselves: Why did she do that? The answer is so effing obvious that I don’t even think it is needed for me to give an explanation. The same goes for expensive clothing, gadgets, and the likes. In my opinion, it’s okay to go deluxe as long as you can effortlessly afford it. Besides, it’s better to be accepted for who and what you are rather than for what you have and how high your parents’ salaries are.
THIRD STOP : KNOW-IT-ALLS
Know-it-alls: the worst kind of poseurs amongst all, in my opinion. These are the kind of people who disgust me the most. They pretend to know so many things. Their favorite hobby is butting-in on other people’s discussions and reciting (well-rehearsed) bits of information about the current topic, displaying their almighty, almost deafening, ignominious wanna-be-Einstein egos, as if they’re the best amongst everybody. Their second beloved leisure pursuit is pretending to have seen this or to have read that-but once you ask them about this and that, they’ll only say “Oh, I already forgot about it.” Comical isn’t it? They’re almost always caught within their own traps. I yearn for their deliverance.
FOURTH STOP : PLASTICS
Let’s face it, once in a while, all of us acquiesce to being lowly plastics. Deny that fact and you are a hypocrite. The brutal truth: we can’t please everybody. And in order to avoid conflict, it is inevitable for us to hide parts of the raw truth. So I suppose that all of us, in some way, are all poseurs to a certain degree. However, like all else, this category (Plastics) has intensities too. These sorts of poseurs are usually found close to us: within our circle of friends. Yes, this is where backstabbers come in. Whenever you’re with them, all they can give you are pure compliments and ebullient respects-but once you turn your back-the evil horns come out. This is why no matter how close you are to someone, even if you’ve known that person for years-never ever give him/her your trust 100%. Have reservations-not because you don’t believe in friendship-but simply for self-preservation purposes. Remember, your best friend is the worst enemy you can possibly ever have. Do trust, but like they say: Prevention is better than cure. Only God really knows the genuineness of people.
The list doesn’t end here. I’m just way too lazy to sketch more of those little caricatures. So for now, I ask you to be contented with what you’ve seen and read. Lassitude is a very commanding thing, I’m afraid.