on deep regrets at the lack of human flesh

[black_asininity]

I cry to you in my sleep
I want to touch somebody
reach out and trace the lines of your body with my fingertips
on being lost in your arms and wanting to reach you into my mouth
but with my flesh so unbecoming
I'll fail to touch your body
I'll fail to penetrate the image of my flesh into your mind
into your heart
into the only things that matter

my heart, your bed, my face dug into your chest
my heart doesn't beat so fast
passion was our past
passion wouldnt last
because my flesh is unbecoming
I still long to touch your body
trace that part below the chest on the side of your stomach
where friends dont really go
and I long for nights of wandering hands
and deep kisses stuck into my mouth

just reach out
and touch somebody
and kiss somebody
and hold that somebody deep in my arms
and have their face stuck in my chest
and sleep in their bed
and they hold me tight
and in the first light of morning, or afternoon reach your hand over onto my face and whisper good morning in my ear

but i should repress and forget
because my flesh is unbecoming
not like I dont know whats coming
the doom the crash
passion never lasts
because my flesh is unbecoming
and i just want to touch somebody
but that somebody is you
and your flesh is like a magnet
a magnet covered in flames
and poison
and sharp pointy splinters sticking into the deep depths of my soul
and my sense of self
and my self esteem
and my heart is building concrete fortresses

I'd turn it all to rubble just for you
this deserted abandoned building
rubble with vines growing in cracked sections of walls
little crevices that soak up dirt and sun and water

somewhere deep inside lies my body
naked protruding flesh
covered in sores and vines
don't worry my love
you'll never touch my body
tracing my body results in cuts and sores
because my flesh is unbecoming
and all I ever wanted was you
and all I see is you
but it's over now
and you never loved me