I've seen better days and i might be wasting away...
I should go make a parting gift for Jess after this. At least I can keep my hands busy. Maybe if its pretty I'll feel good about myself.
I need to buy stamps
I tell myself it would be good for my battered self esteem to go out and meet a boy and have him dote on me.
But I'm not ready
But he is
and that bothers me
and it also bothers me that if i do go out and meet someone else I'll just get stuck in the same game I'm always with
apparently you're no exception
i need some fucking direction
and i need to get my shit together
and i kinda want to run away and awful lot but theres nowhere to go
and if I can't fall into your arms and feel okay
and if i can't touch your face
and look into your eyes
where can i go?
and i miss your bed
and your voice
and it makes me sad that i never got my shit together after losing Natalina and jumped into a relationship so now I dont have the busy that i need right now and my days are filled with longing and regret
my whole life is filled with longing and regret
and its dumb
and I miss meg because she was the only other person that really matters and shes not around
I had a dream a few nights ago that i was a lesbian and i had a woman lover and she understood me
sometimes I dont wonder why women go lesbian
sometimes I dont wonder if I'm going to end up that way just because having an innate attraction to men obviously isn't worth it to me
and girls think im cute and boys think im ugly
I really really feel ugly
I need to buy stamps
I tell myself it would be good for my battered self esteem to go out and meet a boy and have him dote on me.
But I'm not ready
But he is
and that bothers me
and it also bothers me that if i do go out and meet someone else I'll just get stuck in the same game I'm always with
apparently you're no exception
i need some fucking direction
and i need to get my shit together
and i kinda want to run away and awful lot but theres nowhere to go
and if I can't fall into your arms and feel okay
and if i can't touch your face
and look into your eyes
where can i go?
and i miss your bed
and your voice
and it makes me sad that i never got my shit together after losing Natalina and jumped into a relationship so now I dont have the busy that i need right now and my days are filled with longing and regret
my whole life is filled with longing and regret
and its dumb
and I miss meg because she was the only other person that really matters and shes not around
I had a dream a few nights ago that i was a lesbian and i had a woman lover and she understood me
sometimes I dont wonder why women go lesbian
sometimes I dont wonder if I'm going to end up that way just because having an innate attraction to men obviously isn't worth it to me
and girls think im cute and boys think im ugly
I really really feel ugly