A real carousel
Whatever I may be doing, I'm ignored. I never have comments, nor messages, nor e-mails. I'm getting sick of this world. Of this reality. I think I'm starting again, turning around, and round and round in this swirl of insanity and darkness. Yeah, whatever you may be saying, that I need attention, that I'm a complaining bitch. I do have my moments like everyone okay?
Round and round and round... like a carousel. And you all know what a carousel do right? The lil horses go up, and down, going in circle and circle always at the same place. This is the perfect image of one's life.
Some people say it's because it's the end of the year, that sun begins to show up and because I'm not motivated to go to school. Some others say it's just me being self-centered and not thinking about the real things. But what if I don't wanna have dreams and hopes right now? What if those dreams and hopes bring only tears to my eyes at the moment? And what if I had no motivation to feel happy? Cause yea, I have no reasons to feel happy. I just feel neutral and bored and it's killing me. Anger, Boredom and lack of love...all those are eating me away at the moment. Yeah I admit it, I cannot stay alone. But it has been so long I haven't felt love like in the past times. At least, these times were good because I felt loved and was loving back.
Now it's just all about sex... God, this is like a cycle. I always repeat myself, and I always say the same things over and over again. I sound so lame and pathetic...
What's having too much of something? If I say i've had enough, too much of life, can I give back the rest to the one who gave it to me saying : no thanks, I'm trying to quit? I wish I could, and without offensing anybody, because I know people will go like : oh not again fucking bitch, she's a fucking suicidal freak.
Well yeah okay, sa whatever you want, I'm not into it anymore. I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want. And I'm not suicidal either! I'm just tired of living for the moment, I'd like to sleep for like... 2 or 3 years or so..and wake up being an adult and able to beat up some people I hate.
Anyway, I'm done with my lame and tidious complaining....
Round and round and round... like a carousel. And you all know what a carousel do right? The lil horses go up, and down, going in circle and circle always at the same place. This is the perfect image of one's life.
Some people say it's because it's the end of the year, that sun begins to show up and because I'm not motivated to go to school. Some others say it's just me being self-centered and not thinking about the real things. But what if I don't wanna have dreams and hopes right now? What if those dreams and hopes bring only tears to my eyes at the moment? And what if I had no motivation to feel happy? Cause yea, I have no reasons to feel happy. I just feel neutral and bored and it's killing me. Anger, Boredom and lack of love...all those are eating me away at the moment. Yeah I admit it, I cannot stay alone. But it has been so long I haven't felt love like in the past times. At least, these times were good because I felt loved and was loving back.
Now it's just all about sex... God, this is like a cycle. I always repeat myself, and I always say the same things over and over again. I sound so lame and pathetic...
What's having too much of something? If I say i've had enough, too much of life, can I give back the rest to the one who gave it to me saying : no thanks, I'm trying to quit? I wish I could, and without offensing anybody, because I know people will go like : oh not again fucking bitch, she's a fucking suicidal freak.
Well yeah okay, sa whatever you want, I'm not into it anymore. I'll do whatever I want, whenever I want. And I'm not suicidal either! I'm just tired of living for the moment, I'd like to sleep for like... 2 or 3 years or so..and wake up being an adult and able to beat up some people I hate.
Anyway, I'm done with my lame and tidious complaining....