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So, I'm taking a play-writing course this year and this will be my considered my Final project. I know it's long but if any of you have a moment and would read it, giving me some creative feedback, it would be extremely welcomed. This is only one half of it, all written in one Act. Thanks again in advance!
THANKSGIVING WITH THE MEYERS
CAST:
LAURA MEYER - Daughter
ERIC STOLTZ - LAURA’s fiancé
MR. DAVID MEYERS - Father
MRS. KATHERINE MEYERS - Mother
JEREMY MEYERS - Son
Scene 1
(ERIC STOLTZ is in his living room, putting on his coat, and gathering up luggage. He stands on the right-side of the stage, by the living room’s front door. He is calling to LAURA MEYER, who is just off-stage to the left-side.)
ERIC
Laura! For goodness sakes, Laura! Would you hurry up already? The taxi is here and we don’t want to be late for our flight!
LAURA
(can be heard from off-stage)
Honey, have you seen my blue woolen scarf? I thought it was here in the master bedroom!
ERIC
It’s right here on the hall tree, next to your coat. You know… where it always is.
LAURA
Did you pack your toothbrush? Slippers? What about your swim shorts?
ERIC
Swim shorts?! Laura, it’s November, 18 below and snowing outside right now. Why in the world would I bring my swim shorts to your family’s house for Thanksgiving?
LAURA
(rushes onstage from the left-side of the stage to Eric, with several pieces of luggage)
What if you decide you want to take one of those polar bear swims in their pool while we’re there? It’s always best to plan ahead for these things.
ERIC
I doubt I’ll be wanting to swim in this weather, babe.
LAURA
I dunno… you may change your mind after meeting my parents. Give them about 10 minutes and I promise you’ll be wishing you were drowning yourself in that pool.
ERIC
You’re just nervous. I’m sure your family and I will get along just fine. I’ll compliment your mother’s cooking, talk football with your dad, and play some Xbox with your little brother, Jeremy, and I’m sure they’ll be begging me to marry you. It’s only for three days. I’m sure everything will be just fine.
LAURA
It’s just… it’s just that you don’t know them like I do.
(sighs)
Just remember… this whole thing was your idea. We could have just had a simple, relaxing Thanksgiving with Maria and Gary. They’re safe people. SANE people.
ERIC
(kisses LAURA on the forehead and hugs her close)
Naw… I think I feel safer with the Insane. I mean, that’s why I love you so much, right?
LAURA
(smiles)
Smart-ass!
ERIC
(laughs)
Now, c’mon. Get your coat on while I load these bags into the taxi. Our flight leaves in just a few hours and you know the airport is going to be a mess.
(The two kiss as the scene ends)
Scene 2
(MRS. MEYERS is setting the table for Thanksgiving. Mr. Meyers is sitting on the sofa watching football on TV with the volume off.)
MRS. MEYERS
Where are they? They should’ve been here over two hours ago! If they’re running late, they should have at least called. Do you think something happened to their plane? Do you think maybe it went down over the mountains somewhere? Oh, goodness! They’re probably dead! On Thanksgiving! Honey! Turn on the news! See if any planes have crashed!
MR. MEYERS
Settle down, Katherine! You’re just being paranoid. It’s the Holidays damn it! Their flight was probably just delayed, that’s all. Now, cool your jets so I can watch some football in peace!
MRS. MEYERS
How can you watch football at a time like this? They’re dead, David! They’ve crashed into some remote mountainside and they’ve been burned alive! Oh, my poor baby girl… (sobs) Or what if they’re not dead? What if they’ve crashed and they survived? They’re probably on that freezing mountainside, stranded, waiting for rescue, and so hungry that they’re eating one another’s buttocks to survive! My poor little Laura’s butt cheek is someone’s Thanksgiving dinner! (sobs harder)
MR. MEYERS
Well, that just means there’s more turkey for us to go around. Can I get another Budweiser over here?
MRS. MEYERS
(brings MR. MEYERS a beer)
You really shouldn’t be drinking so much before dinner, David. You’re going to be meeting Laura’s fiancé for the first time tonight and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be drunk before they show up.
MR. MEYERS
Whaddya mean? They’re eating one another’s buttocks on some mountainside right now, remember?
(MRS. MEYERS rushes off-stage to the kitchen sobbing after hearing this.)
While you’re in there, grab me another bag of those pretzels!
(JEREMY walks in from other side of stage, talking on a cordless phone which is resting on his shoulder, while playing a video game device.)
JEREMY
(talking into phone)
Yeah… Totally, man. Dan almost broke his arm, dude! It was hilarious! We had this shopping cart, right? And we were racing around the Wal Mart parking lot with him in it, right? So, we totally let go of it and he went flying down the parking lot into back of someone’s Trans Am, and he… Damn it! I just fucking died again!
(throws video game device on the floor)
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy! Watch your damned mouth, son! I don’t want to hear that kind of shit-talk in my house!
JEREMY
(to MR. MEYER)
Sorry, Dad. Geez!
(to phone)
Sorry, man… My dad is such an old man, sometimes. So, yeah, Dan hit the back of the Trans Am and flew out of the cart, right over the car. He landed on the hood of the car, face first. It was awesome! What’s that? Naw, dude. He’ll be alright. Didn’t break anything. I’m gonna go visit him in the hospital tomorrow, though. The doctor said he got some sort of head trauma or something. I’m gonna see what happens if I unplug some of the machines he’s hooked-up to.
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy! Get off that damned phone! Your sister might be trying to call!
JEREMY
Dude… I gotta get off the phone. My old man is being a total douche. Okay, man. I’ll call you later.
(hangs up the phone and plops down on the couch next to MR. MEYERS)
MR. MEYER
How long have you been on that phone?
JEREMY
Chill, Dad! I was only on there for, like, two hours or something. Why are you flipping out on me?
MR. MEYERS
Two hours?! What if your sister was trying to call? She and her boyfriend are late and your mother is having a melt-down. If she found out you were tying up the phone line that entire time, you’ll be the only turkey we’ll be eating tonight.
JEREMY
I wouldn’t have to tie up the phone line if you’d get me a cell phone like I’ve been asking for all year!
MR. MEYERS
No way! You’re only fifteen years old, Jeremy. There’s no way in hell you’re getting a cell phone. You don’t even have a job, yet. How the hell do you think you’re gonna pay for the damned thing?
JEREMY
I figured you would. I mean, you bought one for Laura when she was my age. It’s no fair!
MR. MEYERS
Laura is different. She’s always been a responsible young lady, unlike you.
JEREMY
I’m no lady.
MR. MEYERS
You’re throwing a fit like one right now. Anyway, she’s a girl, too. I bought her that phone in case of emergencies. You know, like date rape or being hit by a car.
JEREMY
What about me? What if I’m hit by a car?
MR. MEYERS
Well, then you probably deserved it. Knowing you and your friends, you’d probably be found in a ditch somewhere, all mangled-up in some Wal Mart shopping cart.
JEREMY
(Jumps off of couch and storms out of the room)
God, I hate you, Dad!
MR. MEYERS
There’s always Military School, son!
(to self)
Jesus, I need to get that kid a leash or something.
(MRS. MEYERS enters the room, carrying a bag of pretzels out to MR. MEYERS)
MRS. MEYERS
What was with all that shouting?
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy’s just being a teenager again. Turns out he’s been on the phone for the past few hours with his friends.
MRS. MEYERS
What?! What if Laura was trying to call all that time?
MR. MEYERS
That’s what I was telling the boy. Threw a fit because I won’t buy him a cell phone.
MRS. MEYERS
You better not have threatened him with Military School again, David. He’s just a teenage boy. Boys will be boys!
MR. MEYERS
Stop babying the kid. He was raised under this roof by the two of us. He should be more responsible, like his sister, damn it.
(The door bell rings and MRS. MEYERS rushes to the door to answer it to find LAURA and BENJAMIN standing outside with their bags in hand, covered in snow)
MRS. MEYERS
Laura! Oh, David, it’s Laura! She’s here!
LAURA
Hi, Mom!
(They hug.)
MRS. MEYERS
And you must be Benjamin! We’ve heard so much about you. Come in, you two. Come in.
BENJAMIN
Thank you, Mrs. Meyers. You’re just as beautiful as Laura said you were.
(hugs MRS. MEYERS and gives her a peck on her cheek.)
(MR. MEYERS gets off couch to hug his daughter)
MR. MEYERS
Hello, Princess!
(to BENJAMIN, while extending his hand for a handshake)
It’s good to meet, you, Benjamin.
(BENJAMIN gives MR. MEYERS a hug instead, which MR. MEYERS reacts stunned, not hugging back.)
BENJAMIN
It’s great to meet you, too, Sir. You have a lovely home.
LAURA
Sorry it took us so long to get here. Our flight was delayed for a few hours and I tried calling you several times, but the line was busy.
MR. MEYERS
(yelling off-stage)
Jeremy! You’re grounded for a month!
MRS. MEYERS
Let me take your bags, honey. Go ahead and hang your coats up on the coat tree and make yourselves comfortable. You both must be freezing! This weather is just dreadful. I’ll prepare a cup of hot cocoa for you both to warm up with before dinner.
BENJAMIN
Thank you, Mrs. Meyers. That’s very thoughtful of you.
MRS. MEYERS
(Gathers up suitcases with a giggle at BENJAMIN’S politeness)
Oh, my! You can just call me Katherine. Now, go have a seat and relax.
LAURA
Mom, let me help you with those.
(Both exit stage with suitcases)
(MR. MEYERS and BENJAMIN both sit on the couch and begin watching football together)
MR. MEYERS
You a football fan, Ben?
BENJAMIN
Oh, yes sir! Detroit Lions fan since I was a kid.
MR. MEYERS
Are you kidding me? Lions? I said, “Football”, Ben, not grab-ass! The Packers, boy. The Packers are America’s golden boys. Mike McCarthy is gonna make all of Detroit cry even harder than when the Motor City was crushed by the recession.
BENJAMIN
Uh… Detroit is my hometown. My father recently lost his job at Ford because of recession.
MR. MEYERS
Was he a Democrat?
BENJAMIN
Yeah, why?
MR. MEYERS
Then he probably had it coming anyway.
(BENJAMIN just sits quietly, staring at the TV)
THANKSGIVING WITH THE MEYERS
CAST:
LAURA MEYER - Daughter
ERIC STOLTZ - LAURA’s fiancé
MR. DAVID MEYERS - Father
MRS. KATHERINE MEYERS - Mother
JEREMY MEYERS - Son
Scene 1
(ERIC STOLTZ is in his living room, putting on his coat, and gathering up luggage. He stands on the right-side of the stage, by the living room’s front door. He is calling to LAURA MEYER, who is just off-stage to the left-side.)
ERIC
Laura! For goodness sakes, Laura! Would you hurry up already? The taxi is here and we don’t want to be late for our flight!
LAURA
(can be heard from off-stage)
Honey, have you seen my blue woolen scarf? I thought it was here in the master bedroom!
ERIC
It’s right here on the hall tree, next to your coat. You know… where it always is.
LAURA
Did you pack your toothbrush? Slippers? What about your swim shorts?
ERIC
Swim shorts?! Laura, it’s November, 18 below and snowing outside right now. Why in the world would I bring my swim shorts to your family’s house for Thanksgiving?
LAURA
(rushes onstage from the left-side of the stage to Eric, with several pieces of luggage)
What if you decide you want to take one of those polar bear swims in their pool while we’re there? It’s always best to plan ahead for these things.
ERIC
I doubt I’ll be wanting to swim in this weather, babe.
LAURA
I dunno… you may change your mind after meeting my parents. Give them about 10 minutes and I promise you’ll be wishing you were drowning yourself in that pool.
ERIC
You’re just nervous. I’m sure your family and I will get along just fine. I’ll compliment your mother’s cooking, talk football with your dad, and play some Xbox with your little brother, Jeremy, and I’m sure they’ll be begging me to marry you. It’s only for three days. I’m sure everything will be just fine.
LAURA
It’s just… it’s just that you don’t know them like I do.
(sighs)
Just remember… this whole thing was your idea. We could have just had a simple, relaxing Thanksgiving with Maria and Gary. They’re safe people. SANE people.
ERIC
(kisses LAURA on the forehead and hugs her close)
Naw… I think I feel safer with the Insane. I mean, that’s why I love you so much, right?
LAURA
(smiles)
Smart-ass!
ERIC
(laughs)
Now, c’mon. Get your coat on while I load these bags into the taxi. Our flight leaves in just a few hours and you know the airport is going to be a mess.
(The two kiss as the scene ends)
Scene 2
(MRS. MEYERS is setting the table for Thanksgiving. Mr. Meyers is sitting on the sofa watching football on TV with the volume off.)
MRS. MEYERS
Where are they? They should’ve been here over two hours ago! If they’re running late, they should have at least called. Do you think something happened to their plane? Do you think maybe it went down over the mountains somewhere? Oh, goodness! They’re probably dead! On Thanksgiving! Honey! Turn on the news! See if any planes have crashed!
MR. MEYERS
Settle down, Katherine! You’re just being paranoid. It’s the Holidays damn it! Their flight was probably just delayed, that’s all. Now, cool your jets so I can watch some football in peace!
MRS. MEYERS
How can you watch football at a time like this? They’re dead, David! They’ve crashed into some remote mountainside and they’ve been burned alive! Oh, my poor baby girl… (sobs) Or what if they’re not dead? What if they’ve crashed and they survived? They’re probably on that freezing mountainside, stranded, waiting for rescue, and so hungry that they’re eating one another’s buttocks to survive! My poor little Laura’s butt cheek is someone’s Thanksgiving dinner! (sobs harder)
MR. MEYERS
Well, that just means there’s more turkey for us to go around. Can I get another Budweiser over here?
MRS. MEYERS
(brings MR. MEYERS a beer)
You really shouldn’t be drinking so much before dinner, David. You’re going to be meeting Laura’s fiancé for the first time tonight and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be drunk before they show up.
MR. MEYERS
Whaddya mean? They’re eating one another’s buttocks on some mountainside right now, remember?
(MRS. MEYERS rushes off-stage to the kitchen sobbing after hearing this.)
While you’re in there, grab me another bag of those pretzels!
(JEREMY walks in from other side of stage, talking on a cordless phone which is resting on his shoulder, while playing a video game device.)
JEREMY
(talking into phone)
Yeah… Totally, man. Dan almost broke his arm, dude! It was hilarious! We had this shopping cart, right? And we were racing around the Wal Mart parking lot with him in it, right? So, we totally let go of it and he went flying down the parking lot into back of someone’s Trans Am, and he… Damn it! I just fucking died again!
(throws video game device on the floor)
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy! Watch your damned mouth, son! I don’t want to hear that kind of shit-talk in my house!
JEREMY
(to MR. MEYER)
Sorry, Dad. Geez!
(to phone)
Sorry, man… My dad is such an old man, sometimes. So, yeah, Dan hit the back of the Trans Am and flew out of the cart, right over the car. He landed on the hood of the car, face first. It was awesome! What’s that? Naw, dude. He’ll be alright. Didn’t break anything. I’m gonna go visit him in the hospital tomorrow, though. The doctor said he got some sort of head trauma or something. I’m gonna see what happens if I unplug some of the machines he’s hooked-up to.
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy! Get off that damned phone! Your sister might be trying to call!
JEREMY
Dude… I gotta get off the phone. My old man is being a total douche. Okay, man. I’ll call you later.
(hangs up the phone and plops down on the couch next to MR. MEYERS)
MR. MEYER
How long have you been on that phone?
JEREMY
Chill, Dad! I was only on there for, like, two hours or something. Why are you flipping out on me?
MR. MEYERS
Two hours?! What if your sister was trying to call? She and her boyfriend are late and your mother is having a melt-down. If she found out you were tying up the phone line that entire time, you’ll be the only turkey we’ll be eating tonight.
JEREMY
I wouldn’t have to tie up the phone line if you’d get me a cell phone like I’ve been asking for all year!
MR. MEYERS
No way! You’re only fifteen years old, Jeremy. There’s no way in hell you’re getting a cell phone. You don’t even have a job, yet. How the hell do you think you’re gonna pay for the damned thing?
JEREMY
I figured you would. I mean, you bought one for Laura when she was my age. It’s no fair!
MR. MEYERS
Laura is different. She’s always been a responsible young lady, unlike you.
JEREMY
I’m no lady.
MR. MEYERS
You’re throwing a fit like one right now. Anyway, she’s a girl, too. I bought her that phone in case of emergencies. You know, like date rape or being hit by a car.
JEREMY
What about me? What if I’m hit by a car?
MR. MEYERS
Well, then you probably deserved it. Knowing you and your friends, you’d probably be found in a ditch somewhere, all mangled-up in some Wal Mart shopping cart.
JEREMY
(Jumps off of couch and storms out of the room)
God, I hate you, Dad!
MR. MEYERS
There’s always Military School, son!
(to self)
Jesus, I need to get that kid a leash or something.
(MRS. MEYERS enters the room, carrying a bag of pretzels out to MR. MEYERS)
MRS. MEYERS
What was with all that shouting?
MR. MEYERS
Jeremy’s just being a teenager again. Turns out he’s been on the phone for the past few hours with his friends.
MRS. MEYERS
What?! What if Laura was trying to call all that time?
MR. MEYERS
That’s what I was telling the boy. Threw a fit because I won’t buy him a cell phone.
MRS. MEYERS
You better not have threatened him with Military School again, David. He’s just a teenage boy. Boys will be boys!
MR. MEYERS
Stop babying the kid. He was raised under this roof by the two of us. He should be more responsible, like his sister, damn it.
(The door bell rings and MRS. MEYERS rushes to the door to answer it to find LAURA and BENJAMIN standing outside with their bags in hand, covered in snow)
MRS. MEYERS
Laura! Oh, David, it’s Laura! She’s here!
LAURA
Hi, Mom!
(They hug.)
MRS. MEYERS
And you must be Benjamin! We’ve heard so much about you. Come in, you two. Come in.
BENJAMIN
Thank you, Mrs. Meyers. You’re just as beautiful as Laura said you were.
(hugs MRS. MEYERS and gives her a peck on her cheek.)
(MR. MEYERS gets off couch to hug his daughter)
MR. MEYERS
Hello, Princess!
(to BENJAMIN, while extending his hand for a handshake)
It’s good to meet, you, Benjamin.
(BENJAMIN gives MR. MEYERS a hug instead, which MR. MEYERS reacts stunned, not hugging back.)
BENJAMIN
It’s great to meet you, too, Sir. You have a lovely home.
LAURA
Sorry it took us so long to get here. Our flight was delayed for a few hours and I tried calling you several times, but the line was busy.
MR. MEYERS
(yelling off-stage)
Jeremy! You’re grounded for a month!
MRS. MEYERS
Let me take your bags, honey. Go ahead and hang your coats up on the coat tree and make yourselves comfortable. You both must be freezing! This weather is just dreadful. I’ll prepare a cup of hot cocoa for you both to warm up with before dinner.
BENJAMIN
Thank you, Mrs. Meyers. That’s very thoughtful of you.
MRS. MEYERS
(Gathers up suitcases with a giggle at BENJAMIN’S politeness)
Oh, my! You can just call me Katherine. Now, go have a seat and relax.
LAURA
Mom, let me help you with those.
(Both exit stage with suitcases)
(MR. MEYERS and BENJAMIN both sit on the couch and begin watching football together)
MR. MEYERS
You a football fan, Ben?
BENJAMIN
Oh, yes sir! Detroit Lions fan since I was a kid.
MR. MEYERS
Are you kidding me? Lions? I said, “Football”, Ben, not grab-ass! The Packers, boy. The Packers are America’s golden boys. Mike McCarthy is gonna make all of Detroit cry even harder than when the Motor City was crushed by the recession.
BENJAMIN
Uh… Detroit is my hometown. My father recently lost his job at Ford because of recession.
MR. MEYERS
Was he a Democrat?
BENJAMIN
Yeah, why?
MR. MEYERS
Then he probably had it coming anyway.
(BENJAMIN just sits quietly, staring at the TV)