(no subject)
Yesterday I was working hard to keep the fires stoke and steam full speed ahead.....extra money....extra time to keep my mind from tearing itself apart when suddenly it all came to a screeching halt. I didnt know what to do...who to talk to....nor could I find anyone. So I collected my thoughts and found a quite spot in the shop and said a prayer for calm and strength, asked the man upstairs that my mom find some peace and calm and set out to chase the evil away. Along the way I prayed again, not for me nor my fam or anyone but just to say thank you creator, you made me and all the crazyness in this life....somehow it made the storm stir worse and worse.
My life will be forever altered and changed...even more than what it already is. All I wanted was to talk to someone.....my dad...my heart aches in moments like this were I cant fix the woes and ills of this world. There is nothing worse than for a man to feel helpless...its there with the likes of being shoved aside and tossed away.
The hospital was cold and impersonal as are all hospitals, and there she was....the woman who gave me life. All the drama of the world was evaporated and only concern for this beautiful woman was there. I wished that she could be happy, that my dad was just off running an errand and would appear at any moment but its not and didn't happen. I must forge forward, keep moving, press onward but now its harder than ever....when it rains it pours....i hate the blatant honesty in those words.
The good times are cycling through my head, I can only see your smile, hear your laugh and its so far away from me...guess karma reminded me who is boss.
Father how I miss your solid input, I cant imagine all that you had to suffer and go through to have such insite, compassion, love and most importantly the eyes to see the worth in humanity. I know I will be on that level and man I hope its not at too great a cost.....whoa is me...lol....it sucks but there are worse things that could happen so bekehodawn thank you for reminding me of that. oy..this pain....its real but not.
My life will be forever altered and changed...even more than what it already is. All I wanted was to talk to someone.....my dad...my heart aches in moments like this were I cant fix the woes and ills of this world. There is nothing worse than for a man to feel helpless...its there with the likes of being shoved aside and tossed away.
The hospital was cold and impersonal as are all hospitals, and there she was....the woman who gave me life. All the drama of the world was evaporated and only concern for this beautiful woman was there. I wished that she could be happy, that my dad was just off running an errand and would appear at any moment but its not and didn't happen. I must forge forward, keep moving, press onward but now its harder than ever....when it rains it pours....i hate the blatant honesty in those words.
The good times are cycling through my head, I can only see your smile, hear your laugh and its so far away from me...guess karma reminded me who is boss.
Father how I miss your solid input, I cant imagine all that you had to suffer and go through to have such insite, compassion, love and most importantly the eyes to see the worth in humanity. I know I will be on that level and man I hope its not at too great a cost.....whoa is me...lol....it sucks but there are worse things that could happen so bekehodawn thank you for reminding me of that. oy..this pain....its real but not.