everything I need to know about woman comes from Wal-Mart
I stay up late at night. I have found that a peaceful trip to the grocery store at midnight gets the shopping done faster and allows me to take the smaller less gas guzzling vehicle.
It also lets me "people watch" which is a prime hobby here in Bizarroland.
You see I am a toy geek. I managed a KB for years, and now I cannot walk into a store with toys without a casual stroll through the stores toy section. Last night, i also got an education while in the toy section.
2 youngish African American woman ( over 20 but not 25) were 1 isle over. I am betting they were on their way back from a party or something similar. They were looking at outdoor toys. and then I heard this.....
" That aint how ya do it, ain't nevah gonna work that way. Ya gotta do it like your gittin some for yourself"
with that I walked to the end of the isle and there was a VERY cute woman working a hula hoop. Now when I say working I mean WORKIN IT!
God had seen fit to grant this woman, who could not have weighed 120lbs, a backside that you could serve high tea off of. She had that hoop going. and this is what she said:
"Ya gotta rock it back and forth, not side to side. like your ridin it for you, and he's not there."
Friends, I must confess, I have never thought of a hula hoop as a sexual object before. But standing there, god as my witness, I wanted to throw singles. The term shake yer money maker doesn't even begin to cover it. and dont get me wrong...this was all about rhythem. snapping the hips forward and back to keep the hoop moving, while her feet were planted about the width of the hoop apart, so that that ample backside and the points of her hips kept it air born.
and yes for those of you that are old enough...think Robert Crumb and you are VERY close.
this whole display lasted 1.5 minutes, tops. Probably less.
until the guy sweeping the floors said,
"Day am"
Once she realized she had an audience, she smiled, snapped her feet together and let fall to the floor.
I needed a drink.
welcome to bizarroland, where even children's toys and the days of our golden shining youth can be bent in such a way as to make my brain hurt.
It also lets me "people watch" which is a prime hobby here in Bizarroland.
You see I am a toy geek. I managed a KB for years, and now I cannot walk into a store with toys without a casual stroll through the stores toy section. Last night, i also got an education while in the toy section.
2 youngish African American woman ( over 20 but not 25) were 1 isle over. I am betting they were on their way back from a party or something similar. They were looking at outdoor toys. and then I heard this.....
" That aint how ya do it, ain't nevah gonna work that way. Ya gotta do it like your gittin some for yourself"
with that I walked to the end of the isle and there was a VERY cute woman working a hula hoop. Now when I say working I mean WORKIN IT!
God had seen fit to grant this woman, who could not have weighed 120lbs, a backside that you could serve high tea off of. She had that hoop going. and this is what she said:
"Ya gotta rock it back and forth, not side to side. like your ridin it for you, and he's not there."
Friends, I must confess, I have never thought of a hula hoop as a sexual object before. But standing there, god as my witness, I wanted to throw singles. The term shake yer money maker doesn't even begin to cover it. and dont get me wrong...this was all about rhythem. snapping the hips forward and back to keep the hoop moving, while her feet were planted about the width of the hoop apart, so that that ample backside and the points of her hips kept it air born.
and yes for those of you that are old enough...think Robert Crumb and you are VERY close.
this whole display lasted 1.5 minutes, tops. Probably less.
until the guy sweeping the floors said,
"Day am"
Once she realized she had an audience, she smiled, snapped her feet together and let fall to the floor.
I needed a drink.
welcome to bizarroland, where even children's toys and the days of our golden shining youth can be bent in such a way as to make my brain hurt.