It's not just a job...
So, it finally happened.
Carl met Emperor Palpatine.
My squadron escorted Vader's shuttle to Coruscant last night, and after we landed we all did the usual thing... Vader went his way, and we went in the direction of the nearest bar. As we turned to leave, Darth's all like "Hey, you guys should come with me to hang with the Emporer." now, this was weird, but we're all like "Ok, cool!" So we take an air taxi to the imperial palace, and get frisked by the guards, yadda yadda. Then these guards lead us all into this weird room... the walls and floor were a dark stone, and the room itself was dark and cold. The walls were lined with some of palps' famed "art collection"... you know, ancient sith statues and things like that.
We sit down on these peculiar sith-looking chair thingies (which were surprisingly comfortable)... and proceed to chill whilst waiting for our host. After a few minutes I notice Vader seems all relaxed, and since that's when he's really nice I decide to ask him a few questions.
"Um, Lord Vader?"
"Yes, Carl?"
"So, the Emporer's not, you know, a dick or anything is he?"
"Nah, don't sweat it... he only fucks with stupid people... or Yoda... whichever."
With that, the air grew way colder... and was accompanied by this *tap... tap... tap..." that grew louder as it got closer. We all stood up, and turned around, to see this creepy-ass motherfucker hobbling over. He was small, and moved like a shadow... That d00d is way spookier in person. Vader kneeled and did that "What is thy bidding, my master?" stuff. Palps seemed to ignore him, though, and looked at the three of us standing there. In his high, croaking voice he said "I bid you tell me who these doorknobs are, Darth." So Darth tells him who we are, and he seems to warm up a little. "Ah, TIE pilots! Nice to meet you."
And then the weirdest thing happened. Palpatine walks over to Lenny, pokes him with his cane, and says "here, grab this..." and when Larry did... The Emporer... Darth Sidious... this evil, Sith lord.. farted. I mean, he ripped one, man... I couldn't believe it... then he and Darth are all laughing. So, Palps is all like 'Oh, excuse me! I'm a little worn out from being in the middle of a twi'lek sandwich last night HEH!"
Now, I'm totally freaking out, because I do NOT want that image in my head... so I decide I'm just going to hang out and be quiet... Lenny's all shaking, as he's apparently more freaked out than I am.
In the end, we were there for an hour or so, and my image of the Emporer was totally ruined. Not that I care, really. Still, though, I always thought of him as this creepy, all powerful figure... and I meet him, and he's nothing more than a crude, little old man who likes to fart and talk about shooting lightning out of his wang.
Weird.
Carl met Emperor Palpatine.
My squadron escorted Vader's shuttle to Coruscant last night, and after we landed we all did the usual thing... Vader went his way, and we went in the direction of the nearest bar. As we turned to leave, Darth's all like "Hey, you guys should come with me to hang with the Emporer." now, this was weird, but we're all like "Ok, cool!" So we take an air taxi to the imperial palace, and get frisked by the guards, yadda yadda. Then these guards lead us all into this weird room... the walls and floor were a dark stone, and the room itself was dark and cold. The walls were lined with some of palps' famed "art collection"... you know, ancient sith statues and things like that.
We sit down on these peculiar sith-looking chair thingies (which were surprisingly comfortable)... and proceed to chill whilst waiting for our host. After a few minutes I notice Vader seems all relaxed, and since that's when he's really nice I decide to ask him a few questions.
"Um, Lord Vader?"
"Yes, Carl?"
"So, the Emporer's not, you know, a dick or anything is he?"
"Nah, don't sweat it... he only fucks with stupid people... or Yoda... whichever."
With that, the air grew way colder... and was accompanied by this *tap... tap... tap..." that grew louder as it got closer. We all stood up, and turned around, to see this creepy-ass motherfucker hobbling over. He was small, and moved like a shadow... That d00d is way spookier in person. Vader kneeled and did that "What is thy bidding, my master?" stuff. Palps seemed to ignore him, though, and looked at the three of us standing there. In his high, croaking voice he said "I bid you tell me who these doorknobs are, Darth." So Darth tells him who we are, and he seems to warm up a little. "Ah, TIE pilots! Nice to meet you."
And then the weirdest thing happened. Palpatine walks over to Lenny, pokes him with his cane, and says "here, grab this..." and when Larry did... The Emporer... Darth Sidious... this evil, Sith lord.. farted. I mean, he ripped one, man... I couldn't believe it... then he and Darth are all laughing. So, Palps is all like 'Oh, excuse me! I'm a little worn out from being in the middle of a twi'lek sandwich last night HEH!"
Now, I'm totally freaking out, because I do NOT want that image in my head... so I decide I'm just going to hang out and be quiet... Lenny's all shaking, as he's apparently more freaked out than I am.
In the end, we were there for an hour or so, and my image of the Emporer was totally ruined. Not that I care, really. Still, though, I always thought of him as this creepy, all powerful figure... and I meet him, and he's nothing more than a crude, little old man who likes to fart and talk about shooting lightning out of his wang.
Weird.