(no subject)
so I figured this is the best way to get everything out
and say what I want to say, because there's no other way
that I can do it all, and I don't even know if the people
who I want to say this to will listen to me,
but at least I can make an attempt.
I know I make mistakes... I know I make a lot of mistakes
and I know that in doing this I usually end up hurting people
I don't do this on purpose. I guess that parts obvious
but I don't like for the mistakes I make to mess up friendships
I know this happens a lot, and I'm only in high school
but I'm messing up things with two of the most important people
that I know of... I don't know why I did what I did to Evan
I know I probly shouldn't have said yes when he asked me out
that would have avoided all of this and we would still be friends
(or at least, that's how I'm hoping it would be)
I know I have to deal with the consequences now, and
I probly deserve most of it, but if I could take back one thing
it would have been saying yes to him. that was the beginning.
I'm sorry if I'm attracted to some of the stupidest guys
on the planet, but I can't help my feelings for people.
I'm getting over Stacy. but that doesn't change what happened.
I know that... and I'm sorry.
I know that some of the things I do personally affect others
and I don't really know what to say to that other than
I'm sorry. I need to learn to do things though for me
this isn't something I can do for someone else. and I know
that it's probly incredbily hard to believe, but I will fix it.
I don't know when. and I know you're probly reading this
thinking "nothings going to change" well, maybe it won't.
but I've been thinking a lot, and I think I can do this
it will be slowly, and I know that's not what you want
but it's how this is going to stop. who knows when it'll be done
I don't. but I can still try. and I'm sorry it affected you
to this point.
and say what I want to say, because there's no other way
that I can do it all, and I don't even know if the people
who I want to say this to will listen to me,
but at least I can make an attempt.
I know I make mistakes... I know I make a lot of mistakes
and I know that in doing this I usually end up hurting people
I don't do this on purpose. I guess that parts obvious
but I don't like for the mistakes I make to mess up friendships
I know this happens a lot, and I'm only in high school
but I'm messing up things with two of the most important people
that I know of... I don't know why I did what I did to Evan
I know I probly shouldn't have said yes when he asked me out
that would have avoided all of this and we would still be friends
(or at least, that's how I'm hoping it would be)
I know I have to deal with the consequences now, and
I probly deserve most of it, but if I could take back one thing
it would have been saying yes to him. that was the beginning.
I'm sorry if I'm attracted to some of the stupidest guys
on the planet, but I can't help my feelings for people.
I'm getting over Stacy. but that doesn't change what happened.
I know that... and I'm sorry.
I know that some of the things I do personally affect others
and I don't really know what to say to that other than
I'm sorry. I need to learn to do things though for me
this isn't something I can do for someone else. and I know
that it's probly incredbily hard to believe, but I will fix it.
I don't know when. and I know you're probly reading this
thinking "nothings going to change" well, maybe it won't.
but I've been thinking a lot, and I think I can do this
it will be slowly, and I know that's not what you want
but it's how this is going to stop. who knows when it'll be done
I don't. but I can still try. and I'm sorry it affected you
to this point.