I shouldn't have kept everything bottled up. I miss her more than anything. The closer the memorial becomes the more I can't stop crying. I miss her so much. I should of had more time with her before she past. I was the youngest out of my siblings. I feel like I spent the most time with her alone growing up. My brother was out of the house by the ( Read more... )

Again, writing during a hard time in my life. My mothers memorial is in a week. I've been sitting here thinking and writing down what I'm going to say. I never thought I would have to do this so soon in my life. It's painfully unreal. Even as my mothers ashes sit on my dresser, I can't wrap my head around it. From time to time I get the urge to ( Read more... )

So, as always when something major or worth writing about happens I decide to drink a bottle of wine and revisit LiveJournal. My life has shifted a bit. I moved in with my now ex-boyfriend Sean summer '10. I should have known moving in with someone because i had no other choice was a bad idea. I liked Sean quite a bit in the beginning, but him ( Read more... )

I dont know how to do this
I dont know how to break out of this situation
I live with him
I dont want to hurt him
I dont know how to tell him
I dont know how to say im meant to be alone
I dont know how to tell him I cant be with anyone but myself
I dont know how to stop saying I . . .

maybe i should stop being just "I'

not going back home
things just didn't work out
i guess i can try for next year
or i will just rot away in washington
i have no drive to do anything
i really just want to sit in my room
watch tv
and sleep
all day
i hate feeling let down

So this christmas is pretty lame. No friends, family that i dont want to spend christmas with, and no presents. I would have liked a bottle of vodka. I got the lesbians shampoo, they got me nothing. My dad got me a phone, it should be hear by the end of next week. My mother hasnt called. She always thinks its our job to call her ( Read more... )

So yea ( Read more... )

After all these years trying to be strong and self- sufficient ( Read more... )

Its been so long I almost dont know what to write. Shits kinda hit the fan once again. So now Im writing my lj pity party entry that i seem to always write after i feel lost and confused. So hear it goes:

So I was fired from Subway.
Its not too big a ( Read more... )

My life seems to be going in a much different direction then i though it would. Ive lost a couple friends in the past month, not from death just from them being complete dicks. Racheal doesnt care about anyone but herself, Nathan needs to come out of the closet. I'm not really too sure whats going on with Nathan. Every time we are going to hang out ( Read more... )