Comments | bitterfic: Angel in Heavy Syrup: Loveless Fic

bitterfic

Angel in Heavy Syrup: Loveless Fic

Oct 26, 2007 09:45

Author: Bitterfig

Title: Angel in Heavy Syrup

Fandom: Loveless

Pairing: Yamato/Kouya

Summary: The Zero Girls break in their new strap-on.

Beta Reader: Fedink

Word Count: 521

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, language, pegging.

Author’s Note: Originally written for the Loveless Anonymous Kinks Meme. Prompt “Kouya/Yamato strap-on dildo, ( Read more... )

femslash/yuri, fandom: loveless

Comments 9

gsrfan7 October 26 2007, 17:34:08 UTC

I don't follow anime at all, but this story was hot. Great job.

bitterfic October 26 2007, 17:39:53 UTC

Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked it.

penanna October 26 2007, 18:41:23 UTC

Hmm hmm. Before I start, let me make it clear that I'm trying to be constructive, not destructive. ^^;; And I realise it's just a 'Kink' and that your influences (i.e. Lisa Yuskavaga, and the Japanese band) may have shaped your writing, but I can see what you tried to do, and in some cases you didn't quite manage, so I want to try and help if I can. I hope you don't think I'm being rude or horrible, that's not my intention ( ... )

bitterfic October 26 2007, 19:23:43 UTC

Thank you for reading and commenting.

ekaterin24 October 27 2007, 13:49:11 UTC

This was, indeed, hot! Re: what penanna said, I can see Kouya being a bit reticent at first language-wise, and then, when she's really excited, working up to wild language (desire does that to even reserved young women).

And this was just the sort of thing Yamato would do, even to the sexy negligee and her (hidden-to-Kouya) smile at the beginning.

bitterfic October 27 2007, 14:12:35 UTC

Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it. I admit I probably should have had a more gradual build-up and drawn the characters a bit more clearly. As it is it's more of an exercise in writing for a prompt than a finished story and maybe I shouldn't have posted it for that reason though I sort of like the idea of posting drabbles and brainstorming sessions so that I have a record of the process. Many sketches and drabbles and ideas end up being reworked into full-length, more finished work. This one might be at some point.

ekaterin24 October 28 2007, 00:52:09 UTC

Ah! An exercise, that makes sense. A fuller version of this would be lovely.

I give you credit for posting--I haven't posted a fic in so long here...

destrokker January 5 2008, 19:51:01 UTC

x3 Doesn't get dirtier than that. *fans self* Pretty damn hot, I must admit. I loved it!

bitterfic January 7 2008, 03:57:09 UTC

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm really pleased to know you liked it.