this sky will make me sick.
This cannot be happening to me. Us. Not now. Please. Merlin knows who I'm pleading to. There is so much that needs to be done, so many things that need organising, working on. Someone needs to keep Jugson in check, because he's an idiot, and frankly, killing him looks like a decent option. Then there's the business with Shacklebolt. And my long running plans for that Dearborn kid. Dealing with the aftermath of the Burkes too.
And yet, all I can really sit here and think about is how...how she might have died. How she might yet die. How my son...how it might all go wrong. This is not supposed to happen to people like us. We have strong, pureblood genes, we're supposed to be above this kind of mess. All I actually want to do is stay here and make sure she's alright, not to let anything like this happen again. The reason I'm doing all this is because I want a better world for them to live in, I want my son not to feel ashamed in a world of mudbloods and muggleborns. This cannot be taken away from me. I love them. I love them, and I will do anything for them, I'm fighting a war for them, aren't I? But this is out of my control. I'm scared of this. I'm worried about the things this makes me do. I ignored a call from Him. A foolish, stupid thing to do, but at the time, I thought she was going to die and considered that rather more important.
So I'm doing this because I love my family, but I will be punished for doing that very thing the next time I am summoned. And I will go. And I will take the punishment. Maybe I just need to be a stronger man.
In the meantime, organising.
For the next few weeks, use your intiative and make sure you communicate, I will not be readily avaliable to tell you what the hell is going off, understand? Don't do anything stupid, and on that note, can someone please keep Jugson in check? Because he is a veritafiable idiot. Use him as bait for the Order or something, find out some of their membership, provoke them. Do as you will.
Otherwise, I think we can safely say Shacklebolt is one of them now. Not because he's been suspended, but because he's disappeared, and the Ministry didn't put him in a safe house, so who did?
Someone, preferably one of the more eloquent of you (Nott, Carrow, Rosier, Rookwood, Wilkes and so on) should go and have polite words with Mr Burke about how his support is still valued and um...well, try to persuade him her death wasn't our fault. Blame Bellatrix, if it comes to it. Or Zabini's wife could play well. Given that she's already offed her husband.
That is all for now.
If you're awake, dear, I'm just going to pick up some things in London, would you like me to get you anything whilst I'm there? How are you today?
I really have nothing to say to any of you. Isn't that a tragedy?