It's been a long road, but here we are.
My 30th birthday was an experience I will never forget and remember fondly. 9 of my close friends spent 5 days with me in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica. This one truly one for the books. Everything from a private cliff-side home, to ATVing in the blinding rain, horseback riding along the coast, surfing and just being present with people I love. An unforgettable time.
I spent Thanksgiving with Brandon and his family in Denver, CO. We road tripped out there with the pups, I worked from that office and just had a good time. We spent some time in Winter Park and snowboarded, it was a fun time and my family was actually understanding of my plans this year instead of upset by it.
New Years, Brandon and I went to Salt Lake City, per usual. We took some friends this time, and had an awesome time, snowboarding 6 of the 9 days we were out there.
We returned for President's Day weekend, which Valentine's Day happen to fall within. This trip felt different. I was reminding myself what I had said to him around my birthday, in Costa Rica... after New Years, I had to be finished with just going along with how things were, I had to quit being okay with giving myself, my time, my energy to someone who, for whatever reason, didn't want to pull the trigger and commit. When we got back to Dallas, I reminded him of what I had said months ago. He asked if I was unhappy, and I said I wasn't as happy as I could be, and that was the problem.
A week later, over dinner we talked about what we wanted in a partner. I said he was it, someone who was my best friend, that I would want to build a life with, try new things with, explore, face challenges and get wrapped up in. He said he wanted those things too. There was a pause and I didn't know what was coming next. He looked at me a few minutes later and asked, "Would you be my girlfriend?". I looked at him, more hesitant than I thought I would be. This was it, this is what I had wanted for years, yet hearing him ask that didn't hit me like I thought it would. It felt more like an exhaustive back and forth has ceased versus an exciting new beginning. We talked for a few minutes, me wondering why now. He went on to tell me his hesitations, fears and self-doubt. It was really upsetting to hear how he felt, how this had chipped away at him for so long, but I reminded him, it had also taken a toll on me too.
In May, we were at dinner with friends, cooking and having a great time. We told each other we loved one another. It was special because I knew that we finally were saying we were in love with one another. I've always loved him, care for him deeply, but couldn't get myself to fully trust him. But here it was, I did and I wanted to. I was admitting I was ready to take on whatever comes next with him.
I spent Thanksgiving with Brandon and his family in Denver, CO. We road tripped out there with the pups, I worked from that office and just had a good time. We spent some time in Winter Park and snowboarded, it was a fun time and my family was actually understanding of my plans this year instead of upset by it.
New Years, Brandon and I went to Salt Lake City, per usual. We took some friends this time, and had an awesome time, snowboarding 6 of the 9 days we were out there.
We returned for President's Day weekend, which Valentine's Day happen to fall within. This trip felt different. I was reminding myself what I had said to him around my birthday, in Costa Rica... after New Years, I had to be finished with just going along with how things were, I had to quit being okay with giving myself, my time, my energy to someone who, for whatever reason, didn't want to pull the trigger and commit. When we got back to Dallas, I reminded him of what I had said months ago. He asked if I was unhappy, and I said I wasn't as happy as I could be, and that was the problem.
A week later, over dinner we talked about what we wanted in a partner. I said he was it, someone who was my best friend, that I would want to build a life with, try new things with, explore, face challenges and get wrapped up in. He said he wanted those things too. There was a pause and I didn't know what was coming next. He looked at me a few minutes later and asked, "Would you be my girlfriend?". I looked at him, more hesitant than I thought I would be. This was it, this is what I had wanted for years, yet hearing him ask that didn't hit me like I thought it would. It felt more like an exhaustive back and forth has ceased versus an exciting new beginning. We talked for a few minutes, me wondering why now. He went on to tell me his hesitations, fears and self-doubt. It was really upsetting to hear how he felt, how this had chipped away at him for so long, but I reminded him, it had also taken a toll on me too.
In May, we were at dinner with friends, cooking and having a great time. We told each other we loved one another. It was special because I knew that we finally were saying we were in love with one another. I've always loved him, care for him deeply, but couldn't get myself to fully trust him. But here it was, I did and I wanted to. I was admitting I was ready to take on whatever comes next with him.