workworkwork
So what I said a couple of months ago about school and two dead end jobs... I wasn't accepted into any programs this go around, which sucks, such a blow to my ego, but at the same time, I am glad. I probably would have freaked if I was accepted. I mean I am already reevaluating which direction I want to go with graduate school, so I have a bit of time to think that over and reapply. I quit Urban which was a long time coming, though I no longer can get a discount (sad day), but I quit because PDX offered me a management position, which was out of left field. And as for something drastic that I thought I'd do, I told Cory I wanted to go on a break and accepted the management position. It was such a difficult conversation, but I think it was a necessary move. Other drastic moves? I am moving into an apartment alone in downtown Fort Worth. I will for once, truly be alone. No family living with me, no roommate, no boyfriend, and I am actually excited. I need to find myself again.
I hope I find whatever I feel like I am looking for. I have to, otherwise Cory and I are taking a break for no reason and I made a terrible mistake for choosing to do that. So far, I have just revisited some past 21 year old habits, but that is quickly getting old. Though it is getting easier not to talk to him, I fall into random flashbacks of how perfect he and I are together. I will marry that man, I know I will. I just need to get that feeling that I am truly ready. I think it's a responsible yet selfish thing I did by suggesting the break, but I feel in the end, it will have only strengthen our relationship and make us appreciate each other more. I was starting to take him for granted, but now that I have other people treating me out and such, I constantly compare them to the perfect man I had, and just wasn't fully aware of it at that time.
As I stop myself from rambling...
I know I am going to look back on this and shake my head in embarrassment.
I hope I find whatever I feel like I am looking for. I have to, otherwise Cory and I are taking a break for no reason and I made a terrible mistake for choosing to do that. So far, I have just revisited some past 21 year old habits, but that is quickly getting old. Though it is getting easier not to talk to him, I fall into random flashbacks of how perfect he and I are together. I will marry that man, I know I will. I just need to get that feeling that I am truly ready. I think it's a responsible yet selfish thing I did by suggesting the break, but I feel in the end, it will have only strengthen our relationship and make us appreciate each other more. I was starting to take him for granted, but now that I have other people treating me out and such, I constantly compare them to the perfect man I had, and just wasn't fully aware of it at that time.
As I stop myself from rambling...
I know I am going to look back on this and shake my head in embarrassment.