(no subject)
Well, Jean's mother is here once again, and I forgot how much of an energy she brings to our home.
She's one of only the few people that hasn't acted so awkwardly around me since I've became pregnant... For instance, she commented on how healthy I looked, and how my skin was glowing. Many others just make comments on how big I am now. I don't think I'm a big person. I have tiny wrists and small hands and my foot is half the size of Jean's.. Sure, I can't really put my boots on anymore without some help, and I can't really pick up things off the floor anymore, but I'm not big. How much I've grown is a nicer way to put it, anyhow.
His mother wants to know everything that has been going on with us, lately. Like the abundance of flowers that are now throughout the kitchen, and I told her that Jean's becoming an addictive spender on flowers. Which, I don't mind really. The flowers are a nice thing to see when I come home from work. And anything along that sorts of Jean being a very humble husband, she instantly begins to beam and goes "Gosh, I taught him so well."
But with her being here now, it's actually got me to think. I keep asking myself if I can become a mother to these children that I am going to have. Will I be able to teach them things, such as being polite and kind to people, and always put effort into the things they do? I want to be the type of mother which once they come home from school, I'll be there to hear about their day, help them with their homework, listen to their dreams, ambitions.. what they want to be when they become fully grown. I'm so scared that I'm going to show them that life can get ugly, terrible, heart-wrenching.. I don't want them to go through what I went through. Life's a whole lot scarier when you don't have a mother there.
I told this all to Jean through a bit lip and he told me not to worry about such a thing. 'I am amazing woman, a loyal friend, and a wife he could only dream of', in his words. Maybe he's right, I should not worry. But it is still back in my head, stirring away. It's absolutely breath taking that I care so much about two people I never got to meet before.
I'm going to try and get to bed now, it's already pretty late and I have to go to the doctor's tomorrow. Jean wants to hear the heartbeats of our children for himself.
~Riza
She's one of only the few people that hasn't acted so awkwardly around me since I've became pregnant... For instance, she commented on how healthy I looked, and how my skin was glowing. Many others just make comments on how big I am now. I don't think I'm a big person. I have tiny wrists and small hands and my foot is half the size of Jean's.. Sure, I can't really put my boots on anymore without some help, and I can't really pick up things off the floor anymore, but I'm not big. How much I've grown is a nicer way to put it, anyhow.
His mother wants to know everything that has been going on with us, lately. Like the abundance of flowers that are now throughout the kitchen, and I told her that Jean's becoming an addictive spender on flowers. Which, I don't mind really. The flowers are a nice thing to see when I come home from work. And anything along that sorts of Jean being a very humble husband, she instantly begins to beam and goes "Gosh, I taught him so well."
But with her being here now, it's actually got me to think. I keep asking myself if I can become a mother to these children that I am going to have. Will I be able to teach them things, such as being polite and kind to people, and always put effort into the things they do? I want to be the type of mother which once they come home from school, I'll be there to hear about their day, help them with their homework, listen to their dreams, ambitions.. what they want to be when they become fully grown. I'm so scared that I'm going to show them that life can get ugly, terrible, heart-wrenching.. I don't want them to go through what I went through. Life's a whole lot scarier when you don't have a mother there.
I told this all to Jean through a bit lip and he told me not to worry about such a thing. 'I am amazing woman, a loyal friend, and a wife he could only dream of', in his words. Maybe he's right, I should not worry. But it is still back in my head, stirring away. It's absolutely breath taking that I care so much about two people I never got to meet before.
I'm going to try and get to bed now, it's already pretty late and I have to go to the doctor's tomorrow. Jean wants to hear the heartbeats of our children for himself.
~Riza