(no subject)

[bitchandjerk]

Title: The Big City Adventure.
Author: bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs Jared/Jensen
Rating :R
Words10,000/3,718,900
Warnings: Wincest
Summary: Sam and Dean continue to deal with fallout from Aaron and Jeremy while Ethan and Evan go to their first class at SAB .
Notes:: AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard



Though Sam may have been beloved across the entire world, it certainly seemed like he wasn't very well liked in his own home and by his own family. First James had brought that prefab monstrosity, which after a week was absolutely adorable, and just perfect for his little family with room for a few more members. Sam had gotten over that but then he woke up early one morning to the incredibly annoying sound of a truck beeping. Sam absolutely hated waking up before he was ready unless it was one of the kids and they knew better. Dean apparently did not.

Without asking if it was okay, or giving Sam a heads up, he had procured what looked like an incredibly large tour bus, that was getting parked right on the side of the house next to the garage. Sam had nearly crapped himself when he saw James' jigsaw house coming down the road, but that went across the street, the absolutely enormous bus was so close Sam could have spit off the balcony and hit it. Before he could even think of how to retaliate for another grave injustice committed against him, Sam had to figure out just what the hell was going on.

Dean, who apparently had some free time in his schedule, had rented the bus and didn't see a thing wrong with it being parked on the side of the house. Sam had no idea what the fuck they needed a bus for and he didn't care because it was ugly and it was making his house look ugly and he couldn't have that. Dean pouted and kicked the snow and made sad faces until Sam agreed to at least look inside before he called the police or one of his super cool dick angel friends.

Sam was expecting kind of a living area and maybe a couple of seats because it looked a lot like a tour bus, but inside was a very, very intimidating recording studio. It was actually kind of amazing and though Sam had no idea what all the knobs and levers and slides and doo dads did, he was intrigued, especially when Dean sat down in the recording booth and strummed his guitar a few times. That was sexy as hell and Sam immediately butt fucked Dean taking full advantage of the soundproof space.

That was two days ago and while Sam still thought the bus was an eyesore all he cared about was that Dean was in there with a couple of people he had hired recording his songs. He wanted Mikey to play on some of the songs and there were talks of duets with Jensen, but Dean wanted to get the hang of things first before he involved everyone else. It was sexy as hell and Sam was loving playing groupie/rock star before bed.

"Oh, breakfast." Michael said as he walked into the kitchen. "Are those pancakes?"

"What? Of course they're pancakes. What else would they be?"

"Well, you're telling me they're pancakes, but you're a no good liar, so it might be dog crap and you're going to shove dog crap down my throat covered in maple syrup from Vermont. Then I'll be the big sorry son of a bitch who ate dog crap and everyone will laugh at me and call me dog crap face."

"Okay, the attitude since you got back is..."

"Is dad out there recording something? Tell me the truth, I don't want you to lie to me even though that's your favorite thing to do."

"Michael."

"Is that even my real name or did you two lie about that too? Where's grandpa!"

"In the basement." Sam sighed. "Or maybe I'm lying again."

"Wouldn't surprise me one bit. I'm going to check the attic first."

Michael grabbed two pancakes that were leftover from breakfast and then turned his nose up at Sam before leaving the room. He was not so happy that they had lied to him about Jeremy, which was fine, but he wasn't letting anyone forget that he wasn't happy. He took every shot he could and Sam was just about done with it. He would have actually laid the smack down, but Dean had forbid him from saying anything because he didn't want Michael to be more upset than he already was.

On top of that Alex was also pissed off because he participated in the lie even though he hadn't wanted to. Sam could deal with pissed off Alex and he could deal with Michael's bitchiness, but he was having a lot of trouble dealing with John, who not only felt betrayed, but he felt inadequate, useless, worthless, and of course completely responsible for Aaron and Jeremy breaking up. Sam wanted to talk to him about it, but he hadn't really talked to either of them in almost a week. He was cordial when the kids were around, but he was keeping quiet and straight up serving cold shoulder when they weren't.

"Wow, you really pissed off that little red headed bastard." Zora said before sitting at the counter. "What's on the schedule today, boss man?"

"Why are you always at my house?"

"Oh, I decided to be your assistant when I'm not chauffeuring the kids."

"What do you know about being an assistant?"

"Not much, but from what I gather we're just going to play grab ass all day and you'll pay me a crap load of money."

"That is how it works."

"Anyway, tomorrow is Wednesday and it's my first day at my real job."

"Don't remind me." Sam sighed. "I'm not ready."

"They're going to be fine, I promise. Trust me."

"That's what you keep telling me."

"I promise." Zora said again. "And I'm not a no good liar."

Sam rolled his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down some. For the past week, on top of dealing with the Aaron and Jeremy fallout, Sam had been absolutely dreading Wednesday. It was just like any other day, but it was Zora's first trip to the city to take Mikey to Juilliard, and the twins were having their first day at SAB. Ethan was going to be fine, because somehow he had just not given a fuck about much of anything since he was born, Evan was a different matter entirely.

More than anything Sam wanted to be there for their first day, but he knew he couldn't. Someone was going to spot him dropping them off, the paparazzi were going to be called and then Ethan and Evan were going to have to deal with that. The photographers already knew Mikey's schedule and they were there every week snapping pictures of him. Mikey was used to it, he understood who he was and who his parents were, and the twins did as well, but Evan was different. He wasn't fearless or brave, he was scared sometimes and he was very sensitive. Sam wouldn't have changed a thing about him even if he could, all he wanted was for him to enjoy school and the photographers were a surefire way to make sure he didn't.

Eventually, it was inevitable, someone would tip them off and they'd be waiting when the twins arrived at school or left for the day, but Sam was hoping for at least a couple of weeks for Evan to get comfortable. He figured at that point he'd be enjoying school so much that he'd be able to deal with the invasion of his privacy. That was what the fabulous Dr. Mark seemed to think and Sam trusted him because he was a professional and he had done some great work with Evan already.

"I was thinking about it. I think I'll take all three of them to SAB first so Mikey's with us. I talked to someone and there's a side entrance they use for deliveries."

"No." Sam said as he shook his head. "That makes them different. I want them walking in the front door like everyone else. We can think about sneaking in if it comes to that."

"Okay. That's fine with me."

"What else?"

"Drop them off, drop Mikey off, then I'm going to have coffee with Melody before she goes to court, I'll hang out for a while and then go pick Mikey up so we can go to lunch."

"He's so excited. He literally wouldn't stop talking about it all during breakfast."

Zora was keeping her promise and taking Mikey to some fancy and trendy vegan restaurant for lunch. Sam had never heard of the place, but he wasn't a no good hippy like Mikey or a traitor to his family, at least that's what Dean had labeled him. Over the past month or so Mikey had pretty much eliminated meat from his diet, which was fine with Sam because they always had plenty for dinner besides just meat, but it was like repeatedly kicking Dean in the balls. Not only was Mikey a giant nerd, but then to not eat meat was just too much for him to handle. He was doing pretty good with it though, because Sam had only caught him bullying Mikey three or four times yesterday and only threatening to fight him once.

"Then bring Mikey back to school, hang out some more, maybe get my nails done, and then pick everyone up and make it back here around five-ish, traffic permitting."

"Get your nails done? On the clock? I don't think so."

"Alex told me all he did when he brought Mikey to school was sext Michael, shop, and kiss Jensen on the face."

"I don't want you hanging out with either of them! You may spend time with my mermaid friend, but don't bother her too much."

"She's my girlfriend, you realize that right?"

"Pretty sure she's my best friend first." Sam laughed. "I mean we don't scissor or whatever it is two girls do together, but still."

"You know women don't really do that together."

"Okay. Whatever you say. My point is, she's my mermaid friend and I don't want you bothering her."

With all the other bullshit going on, one of the few things that was making Sam a very happy boy was constantly reminding Zora that Melody was his friend. She always got very annoyed, which Sam liked because it reminded him of all the fun they used to have with Anthony. Zora was going to be an excellent driver and chaperone for the kids, but if she wanted to make that assistant money she was going to have to really step her game up. Sam was sure she could do it, but he was also sure she had no idea what she was getting herself into. Anthony might have been a total pain, but he worked very hard and it didn't stop when he left the house. He worked from the time he woke up until he went to bed at night. Zora could do that, Sam just wasn't sure she'd want to.

"Anyway, what do I need to assist you with?"

"I don't know."

"What do you have coming up?"

"I don't know." Sam said again. "That's your job apparently."

"Is there a list or a calendar?"

"Probably." Sam shrugged. "Oh, after the Armani show I want to go to a nice dinner with Beyonce and Lady Gaga. You should call them and then make us reservations somewhere nice. Oh, and call Chris to make sure he can watch the kids I think I want to stay in the city so call that guy at the hotel we like and make sure the room has plenty of snacks because last time it was just a disaster. My boo boo thang needs plenty of snacks after he sexes. Powerade Zero and protein bars and plenty of string cheese."

"Okay, who is..."

"And I need to talk to Larry because I know he said that I don't need to see the factory we got when we bought that publishing house, but I want to go there so the people know who I am, you know personally. I think like a breakfast would be nice or maybe lunch. Maybe find a nice caterer, but I want it to be nice, just not like in the cafeteria. Do they have a cafeteria?"

"You bought a..."

"Call the producers of Seven Devils and get me an updated filming schedule and see that they've finalized the wardrobe because I want to okay it so there are no mistakes. You know that shop in town that sells those things I like, I'm almost out and I want some more for when I take romantic baths with Milo. I'd prefer the ones with the dinosaurs inside, but I don't like the scents so see if they can make grownup scents with dinosaurs inside or other little toys."

"Uh..."

"And it's Dean's birthday in a couple of weeks. I really think I want to rent somewhere in the city for the party since it's a big one. Just find me some places and I'll check them out. Something...downtown I think. Oh, you know what, ask Antony if he has any recommendations. I want the theme to be kind of rock and roll DILF? Like glam rock though. Glitter. Spiders from Mars. Just tell Antony to do whatever he wants, but keep it under a milly."

When Sam finally looked up from the dishes Zora was just staring at him like a typical lazy ass no good woman. She didn't have her notepad, she hadn't recorded anything on her phone, and she barely looked like she was retaining any information at all. Sam waited a couple of seconds, but she just kept on staring at him like Spotty did when he wanted a special milk bone to keep his breath fresh. Sam was tempted to toss a treat at Zora, but instead his snapped his fingers a few times because if she wasn't going to play grab ass then she'd actually have to work.

"I need you to repeat all of that."

"I don't have time for that. Just get it done. Oh, and make sure Armani knows I want the whole first row for my friends and book Billy for the show and I think I need a little color because I feel pale. Not much, just like I went to the Hamptons for the weekend. A glow."

"Is this really how you do things?"

"I hear talking but not assisting."

"I don't know how to do any of that stuff!"

"Listen, I understand you wanting to be an assistant to make the big bucks so you can buy my mermaid friend a pretty necklace for when I go on best friend dates with her, but unless you can do what I ask without a lot of backtalk and whining then I'll just buy her a pretty necklace myself. I literally have a billion dollars. That's like a billion more than you have."

"Fine. Give me your phone."

"Oh, no. There are too many up close videos of me fingering Dean on there. Videos of me putting my stuff in him then making him push it out and show it to me...yeah...that's hot. Now go on, get out of here. Do your job."

"Fine!"

"Wait a minute! Kiss?"

"No!"

"Piss poor excuse for an assistant."

When Zora stormed out of the kitchen Sam had a little chuckle to himself because he couldn't wait to see how long it would take for her to figure out all she had to do was call Anthony. He had a dedicated phone, a very detailed schedule, and everything else she would need. The only thing he didn't have was time. Charlie was his full time job and on top of that he was starting the movie in about a week. Sam had faith in Zora, but he was also pretty sure she was going to have a complete nervous breakdown by the end of the day.

After a few more minutes with the dishes, the kitchen was once again spotless and Sam had some free time before he had to start lunch. He wanted to hang out with the kids but he absolutely didn't want to be around John. He really would have liked to spend some time with Dean, but he was so busy probably singing sexy songs and maybe licking his lips a lot and wearing tight jeans. Sam had no one to play with and he was really sad until he heard the backdoor open and what sounded like a giraffe banging into the walls.

"Unkah!"

"Ooh! My sweet fat boy!" Sam said as he squatted down. "I was just thinking about your daddy!"

Charlie came barreling into the kitchen like a damned cannon ball. He was so short and round and he was incredibly spastic. He was always covered in scrapes and bruises from falling over and knocking into stuff, but he didn't seem to care. Sam didn't care either because he was adorable and loving. In fact he was maybe more adorable than usual since Zora had set Anthony up with her hair guy and Charlie was trying out lots of new big boy styles. He had tried braids and twists and somehow Anthony had settled on embracing the natural curl of his hair. Sam didn't know what they were doing to it, but he had the most adorable head of fluffy tight coils that bounced all around when he ran.

"On the lips!" Sam said as he puckered up. "Sugar!"

"Mwah! You got me a cheese?"

"I might!"

"We're out of string cheese." Anthony said as he put his bag on the counter. "Charlie, what do you say?"

"Please, Unkah, love your face."

"Aww, there's cheese in the fridge."

"So." Anthony said as he got the cheese. "When I was walking over here that girl texted me about being your assistant. I responded with a series of memes."

"She wants to make the big bucks."

"Listen, I put up with her because like my baby she's biracial."

"It's me." Charlie said. "Two different kinds!"

"That you are!" Sam smiled. "So smart!"

"But I can't have her messing up my work. I will find you a nice naive gay boy and train him."

"She seems to think she can handle it."

"Did she give you a good morning kiss?"

"She did not."

"Ridiculous! Zora!"

When Zora came back into the kitchen she looked more and less prepared. She was more prepared because she had a notebook she had stolen from somewhere and less prepared because Milo was hot on her heels and jumping up and down like a crazed terrier. Zora's professional writing instrument was one of Milo's chunky crayons and it was the blue one which was his favorite because it was the color of his eyes, which was the best color there was.

"Daddy! She steal from me and punch me and shake my brother!"

"She shook Buster? Is he okay?"

"No, daddy! He...Charlie! What you doing!"

"Cheese."

"That's my cheese!"

While Milo and Charlie scrunched up their faces at each other, Anthony attempted to get Zora's notebook away from her. She put up a good fight, but eventually he snatched it out of her hands. Sam was expecting a couple of notes or maybe an orderly list, but Zora had only drawn what appeared to be a cross eyed werewolf in a dress with a crown on it's head. There were even some stink lines and a couple of flies buzzing around, which made Sam cross his arms over his chest and make a scrunched up rat face.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Do you think it's a picture of you in a dress acting like a queen?"

"Yes."

"Then yeah, it is." Zora said. "And there are stink lines because you stink."

"Like what exactly?"

"Daddy butt!" Milo yelled as he ran out of the kitchen. "Love you, daddy!"

"Wait for me cussin!"

Sam was understandably outraged and considered firing Zora on the spot and maybe seeking some kind of fabulous long term revenge. The only problem with that was that they needed her to take the kids to the city and Sam really did need a new assistant since he was way too busy being handsome and smelling good to do things on his own. The idea of a young naive gay boy wasn't unappealing to Sam, but the last time they got one of those they barely avoided getting themselves in trouble. Zora would have to do and after some firm discipline Sam was sure she'd fall in line.

"Ow!" Zora yelled. "Sam, what the hell are you doing!"

"I'm pinching you on the ass. I'm working my way up to your taint."

"Ow!"

"Why is it so hard to get a grip?"

"Girls wear silky drawers." Anthony said. "Just smack her in the boobs."

"Good idea."

"Sam, don't you dare smack me in the boobs or I'll..."

When Sam went in for a light playful smack, Zora ducked out of the way and then punched him in the stomach. Clearly she had a lot to learn and while Sam wasn't really going to smack her in the boobs or pinch her girl taint, he did chase her around the kitchen for a couple of minutes until she surrendered and went to sit down with Anthony to learn how to be an assistant.

As a genius musician, Dean was not only expected to be the voice of his generation, but he had to fully embrace his feels in order to create his art. On Wednesday after the kids went off on their big city adventure, Dean was all set to get back in the studio and do something super angsty. Unfortunately he never got that far because once the kids were gone his tortured ass curled up on the sofa and sobbed in a very manly and dignified manner.

"Dean..."

"Leave me alone, Sammy. I'm having grief diarrhea."

"Not on my upholstery you're not!"

"Just let me die."

"We can do it if you want."

"No! I'm too upset! You do it by yourself and then put it in my mouth when you're ready to shablam."

Dean opened his mouth in preparation, but Sam, for some reason, didn't start beating off for him. Ethan, Evan, and Mikey were all gone and Dean was already missing them terribly. Honestly he was okay with Mikey and Ethan being gone because they could either handle the big city or were a pain in his ass, but Evan was so sweet and cute and sensitive and Dean was really worried about him. To make matters worse Alex had taken Ollie to school, the babies were at daycare, and Buster had eaten and gone back to bed. The only kid Dean had to play with was Michael and he didn't want to play with him because he was being such a god awful bitch.

"Dean, come on, sit up."

"No!"

"What's he whining about now?" Michael asked. "Did you want to lie to someone and they left before you had a chance?"

"No!" Dean said as he shot up. "And for the record..."

"For the record? Under oath? This should be rich, hope I don't get lieabites!"

"You are being so unfair to us."

"Is that how you really feel? Or are you just telling a fib?"

"I'm over it." Sam said. "Excuse us for not ruining your wedding."

"Excuse me for not knowing whether or not that's the truth."

"Michael..."

"I gotta go do stuff."

"Where are you going?" Dean asked. "Why are you wearing a fancy shirt?"

"I'm going to New Haven."

"Why?" Sam asked. "School doesn't start until next week."

Michael always dressed very nicely and he had done quite a bit of shopping when he was in London. For the past few days he had been wearing cute new outfits, but he looked a little fancier than usual like he was going some place special. For a second he looked panicked, but then he stared at the ceiling, which was his most obvious tell, and attempted to do exactly what he had been bitching about Sam and Dean doing to him.

"I'm meeting a school friend for lunch." Michael said as he avoided eye contact. "At a fancy place for fancy people like me. For celebutants."

"Who?"

"Just a friend."

"That little bitch."

"Sammy! Don't call Michael a bitch."

"Not him." Sam said. "He's going to meet Jeremy."

"Is that true?"

"Maybe." Michael said. "I got lots of friends, other social media stars. I got so many instagram followers Kylie Jenner is jealous of me and my real lips. I took a picture of me after my workout in just my shorts and it got liked almost 5 million times."

"Michael." Dean said sternly. "Are you going to meet Jeremy?"

"Yes, sir."

Dean threw his hands up in the air and temporarily forgot all about whether or not Evan would be okay because he had another little brother to worry about. Aaron hadn't been particularly social since New Year's Eve, but Dean still saw him and Max everyday. He had come over for dinner and breakfast and he certainly wasn't avoiding any of them. Jeremy on the other hand had packed his shit and hit the road. He hadn't called anyone, and Dean sure as hell wasn't about to call him. Sam had almost called once, but Dean put his foot down because he wanted an apology and he wasn't going to go looking for one.

"Did he call you?"

"No."

"So you called him?" Dean asked. "Why?"

"Because he's my family and he's all on his own and..."

"That's his choice!" Dean yelled. "He could have moved in with dad or you or stayed with us. He decided to leave all of us."

"Dean."

"What?" Dean asked. "He's a jerk and he said some really upsetting things. You wouldn't be so quick to run off and have lunch with him if you knew what he said."

"People make mistakes." Michael said. "I don't care what he said because I'm sure he didn't mean it. All I care about is he's hurting, so I'm going to see his place and eat lunch and spend some time with him."

"He told us..."

"I don't care, dad!

"Michael." Sam whispered. "Go ahead. Tell him whenever he's ready to apologize to us he's more than welcome to come over. I'm sure the kids would appreciate seeing him."

"The kids he hasn't even called to check on!"

"Dean."

"Don't you walk out of this house!"

Michael was all set to turn and leave but he froze in his tracks. Dean hated to lay down the law when it came to the kids and he especially had a hard time doing it with Michael because he was an adult, but sometimes it had to be done. Because Michael was an adult, Dean couldn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do or stop him from doing something he wanted to do, but he could make sure he knew how upset he was about the whole situation. That seemed like a good idea, but all that was going to do was ruin Michael's day out and Dean couldn't have that.

"We've both had enough of this attitude you've had since you got back home." Dean said. "I will lie to you until I take my last breath if it means keeping you safe and happy. You can think whatever you want, but there's no way I believe you would have wanted to know what happened on the best night of your life. Correct?"

"I guess."

"So, I'm sorry we lied, but I'm not sorry for why we lied. If you're going to be a good father to your child you need to know when to withhold."

"You made Alex take me out of the country."

"And did you have a fabulous time?" Sam asked. "Did you have a whole week with Alex where you only had to worry about the two of you?"

"Yeah, while Jeremy was here alone and upset."

"That was his choice." Dean said. "He left, he went away, he called your father weak for going to the bridge so he could stop hurting."

"Dean..."

"He...he said that? Dad?"

"He said a lot of things." Sam said. "Go ahead. It's fine, but enough with the attitude."

"I'm sorry."

"Go." Dean nodded. "Have fun. Bring back chicken."

"Okay."

For a second it looked like Michael was reconsidering leaving, but eventually he gave a little weak smile and walked out of the living room. Dean didn't want to stop Michael from seeing Jeremy. If Jeremy needed help and didn't want to ask for it, then Michael was the right person for the job because he didn't need to be asked. Most importantly if he went to New Haven he'd bring back chicken which Dean really needed after all the crap he had already put up with and it was barely nine in the morning.

Once the front door closed Dean threw his hands in the air once more and waited because Sam was standing still and looking about twelve feet tall. After all the years they were together Dean still had no idea how Sam made himself look so tall when he was pissed off. Even worse was that just a few hours ago Milo got pissed off when Dean kissed Mary and he looked about three feet tall. Between the two of them Dean was definitely headed for an early grave, maybe within the next ten minutes or so considering how angry Sam looked.

"Come on." Dean said before plopping down on the sofa. "Let me have it."

"You can't be upset with him because he's a good friend."

"I know that."

"Fine. Do you want to go out to eat for lunch before we pick up the babies from school?"

"Wha...what?"

"We can leave Buster with dad and go have a nice lunch out before we pick up Mary and Milo. I packed Ollie a lunch this morning."

"You're not going to yell at me and hit me and call me names?"

"All that's going to do is give you a hard on, which I'm then going to have to take care of, you'll end up rimming me for an hour like you always do, and then I'll be so sweaty and sticky that I'll have to shower and then we'll never get to lunch."

"How about I eat that ass for lunch?"

"What am I going to..."

"Eat this dick."

"Sex or lunch." Sam said. "I can't afford both."

"Can we have sex before bed?"

"Like you have a choice in the matter?"

"Can I blow you in the car?"

"Maybe."

"Okay. Lunch it is."

"Good." Sam sighed. "I have to do some work in the office, you call dad and see if he can watch the muffin."

"Ugh, do I have to? Isn't Buster old enough to stay home alone for a few hours? Can't we leave him in a tree?"

Sam made one of his patented "Don't be a dumbass" faces which sort of looked like a confused puppy trying to navigate a set of stairs. Without another word he disappeared towards the office leaving Dean alone in the living room with his phone in his pocket. Dean wanted Buster to stay a baby forever so he would always stay small and portable and couldn't refuse the 87 kisses he got per hour, but in the moment, it would have been awesome for him to be about thirteen. As Dean took out his phone he even briefly considered adopting another older kid just so they'd have an extra somebody to stay home with him. All of that seemed a hell of a lot easier than talking to John, who was making Michael seem as sweet as Evan.

"What?"

"Well, good morning to you too." Dean said. "What's up?"

"Reading the paper."

"Okay. The kids left for the city this morning, you could have come over and..."

"I called Zora and talked to them."

"Ah. Anyway, um, Buster was asking about you."

"Buster?"

"Yeah, Sammy and I need to go run some errands and we wanted to know if you felt like hanging out with him."

When John didn't immediately respond with resplendent joy over getting to spend time with Buster, Dean got pissed off. It actually seemed like John was thinking it over which was fucking ridiculous because Buster was awesome. After about ten seconds of completely deafening silence John muttered something non-committal and then said he'd be over in a few minutes. In that moment Dean longed for old phones with cords where he could slam the damned receiver down to make himself feel better. Those days were long gone so he settled for hitting the red button on his phone very forcefully to a near inaudible beep which was in no way satisfying.

After fifteen whole minutes had passed John finally decided to make his way over to the house. In those fifteen minutes Dean had managed to change into some fancy lunch clothes, rearrange a chair in the living room, and trick Oinkers into sitting in his lap by giving him a piece of a potato. Dean was slowly stroking his head and trying his best to look intimidating when John strolled in and rolled his eyes before shrugging off his jacket and tossing it into the hallway.

"Sit, please."

"Did you move Sam's furniture so you could act out some stupid movie scene you probably didn't even really see?"

"No." Dean said as he looked around. "I just thought this chair would look better directly across from the sofa and the coffee table would look better shoved up against the fireplace."

"Right. Where's Buster?"

"He's resting. Please, sit."

While Dean's original intention was to drag John to hell, and he wasn't ruling that out just yet, he thought it might be better to actually talk it out man to man. He thought about changing his mind when John plopped down on the sofa with an annoyed sigh and knocked one of Sam's decorative pillows on to the floor. Dean made a quick mental note to pick that shit up because the last time Ethan left a pillow on the floor Sam locked himself in the green house and angry muttered for a full two hours before he came out to cook dinner.

"What do you want?"

"To talk calmly about this." Dean said. "You're being a real asshole and I hate your face."

"Did Buster ask to see me or not?"

"He's an infant. He can't talk to anyone and only communicates with me via an elaborate code system I've learned to read through his bowel movements, but all those other kids I have did ask where you were this morning."

"I called them."

"Since when is that good enough?"

"You two lied about Jeremy and Aaron. As soon as you found out you should have told me and you shouldn't have let Jeremy leave."

Dean groaned as quietly as he could and then put Oinkers on the floor so he could go play with Spotty who was wondering why anyone would steal his best friend. Dean got where John was coming from, he really did and he understood it, but he was throwing blame where it didn't belong. Dean had sort of come to expect that kind of behavior from John, but quite frankly it was growing more and more tiresome the older he got. He wanted the truth and Dean was going to have to lay it out for him nice and simple so he could understand.

"Sam and my children are the only people I care about. They come first. They always have and they always will."

"And they should."

"So my son's wedding day and not the day for me to rain on everyone's parade. Jeremy and Aaron's relationship is not my problem to deal with. Jeremy isn't my problem either, or yours or Aaron's, because he's an adult and his mind was made up long before he moved. He left us, that's not my fault or Sam's and it sure as hell isn't the kids."

The problem, which Dean completely understood was that John couldn't blame Jeremy so he was trying to place blame literally anywhere else. He couldn't blame Jeremy because Jeremy was the one who was hurt and alone, but he had brought that on himself. Dean had done the same thing when he slept with Jenny and expected things to just be okay. Sam had done it too when he just up and left for nearly a year. They were all adults, they all made their own decisions, and they all had to deal with the fallout. Dean had really fucked up with Jenny, but there wasn't much he could do about that. All he could do was be honest. Sam could have stayed, they could have talked and worked things out, but he left and while that was because of Dean, it was Sam's decision.

Aaron had taken on the task of raising Max without so much as a phone call, and Dean loved him for it, but he wasn't just making a change in his life. He was changing Jeremy's life as well, he was changing everyone's, but it was done, it was like sleeping with Jenny. He couldn't very well go back and change what had happened, and while him and Jeremy had apparently tried to work things out, they didn't. It didn't mean they wouldn't eventually, but Dean had enough problems without worrying too much about future problems they might have. His problems and priorities lived inside the house and that was all he cared about.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Dean asked. "Dad, I'm talking to you man to man, no one else is here except Sam. Do you want me to go get him?"

"No, he left too."

"Completely different."

"I know that, but I worked really hard to be a good dad, especially when Jeremy and Aaron showed up. I just..."

"You didn't fail anybody, dad."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to, but you do have to understand that this isn't my fault or Sam's. We put Michael first, that's our job. These kids are our only job."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you." Dean said sincerely. "Give them time."

"Are they going to get back together?"

"Of course they are."

Dean didn't know if that was entirely true, but he wasn't lying. He just knew that eventually everything would work out. Families, especially their family, stuck together even when everything went to shit or God was trying to kill them, or people messed up. It was what they did, it was they had always done. There was no telling how long Jeremy was going to distance himself or how long Aaron might be upset with him for leaving, but they'd be back together again, regardless of the capacity. Dean knew a thing or two about that. It was just going to take time.

Evan was downright frantic and not in the way Sam had prepared himself for. For a little bit Sam had convinced himself Zora had taken him to Starbucks on the way home from school, but he was just naturally full of so much energy it was a little exhausting. Sam, who considered himself pretty smart and a good listener was having trouble keeping up, and Dean hadn't even touched a piece of the greasy friend chicken Michael had brought back from New Haven. They were all just kind of sitting around the table while Evan went a mile a minute and Ethan sulked. He wasn't just sulking a little either, it was serious angst Sam thought they wouldn't have to deal with for another few years.

"And I did my dance and then they called in other people and I did it again and everyone was so impressed! They asked if Craig helped me and they were even more impressed when I said I came up with it on my own! Daddy, it was so much fun, I can't wait to go back and see all my new friends!"

"It sounds fun!" Sam smiled. "I glad you had a good time. What about you, Ethan?"

"I hate it!"

"I'm going to need some enthusiasm." Dean said. "I had to cut way back on my skincare budget to pay for that fancy pants dancing school."

"They were so mean to me and I was like okay, they don't know who I am, so I laid it all out for them and you know what?"

"What?"

"They don't care, grandpa. They said they don't care who I am."

"You weren't prepared and you knew you weren't prepared and they knew it."

"Excuse me?"

"You weren't prepared." Evan said again. "You thought you'd just walk in there and be the best and if you weren't then you could just tell them who daddy was and who Michael was and everyone would think you were hot stuff."

"Did...did you tell them who I was?" Dean asked. "Me? Short daddy?"

"They didn't care who I was?" Michael scoffed. "Have you seen my instagram? I have over 30 mill..."

"Michael." Alex said before he cleared his throat. "Maybe not the best time."

"You weren't the best either!"

"I'm not there to be the best. I'm there to do my best and when I'm done I will be the best and you'll have to deal with that, Ethan."

Ollie, who was going to town on a chicken leg dropped it on his plate and stared at Evan, who was so not prone to laying down the law or any kind of outburst. Even the babies seemed interested and they stopped eating their chicken to stare and see how Ethan would react. True to form, he grabbed his plate, got up from where he was sitting and practically shoved Mikey off his chair so he could sit in his plate. Mikey looked a little pissed off at first, but then he just took his own plate and went and sat next to Evan, who still didn't seem to give even the tiniest little fuck. Sam was worried, but he was kind of excited too.

"Maybe you can sleep in Mikey's room tonight."

"I will!" Ethan shot back. "I'm going to live in Mikey's room right now!"

"Daddy!" Mikey yelled. "Do something!"

"Uh...uh..." Dean stuttered. "Mikey...is a big boy and needs to touch himself before bed. You can't live with him."

"Dean!"

"Yeah...yeah! I gotta touch myself all the time. Wouldn't mind doing it right now. I'm gonna go to that."

"After you finish your dinner." Sam sighed. "Zora, you're awfully quiet. I assume it's because you would have preferred fish for dinner?"

Zora was sitting way at the other end of the table and she looked like she had been run over by a truck she stumbled into after not sleeping for about a week. She was downright dazed and picking apart a piece of chicken with her hands much like she had done to her biscuit. She had started off the day so confident that she could handle her job and judging by how raggedy she looked Sam was sure she was already drafting her two week notice in her head. Deciding to become Sam's assistant was a wise choice for her, but she was obviously regretting her actual job.

"Uh...I need to take some time off."

"Excuse me?" Dean asked. "You just started today."

"My doctor says I need to have my tubes tied and burnt off and knotted and they're going to wrap my uterus in several layers of saran wrap just in case."

"You don't have sex with men." Michael said cautiously. "Why do you need that much birth control?"

"I'm not willing to risk it."

"What happened...and no one interrupt her!"

Ethan was just about to start screaming, but he kept his mouth shut when Sam stared the fear of God into him. According to Zora she had an absolutely fabulous day. She dropped the kids off, saw Melody, had a great lunch with Mikey, who was so happy when he got home, she ran some errands and then the whole day went to hell she when she went to pick up Ethan and Evan.

Since she was in charge of them, she was the one that had to have the sit down with one of the many administrators at the school. They praised Evan's hard work, dedication, and talent before tearing into Ethan like he was a damned pile of bacon on Ollie's birthday. Not only was he unprepared, his sense of entitlement was something they absolutely were not going to tolerate. He was smug and sloppy and they didn't believe in a three strike rule. Whatever he had done, which was still somewhat unclear, had pissed his teacher off so much that she didn't want him back in her class at all. Zora tried to explain that she was just the driver, but no one seemed to care. She was responsible for Ethan and they let her know just how disappointed they were in his performance and attitude. They were less disappointed by the performance, but no one in the program was going to try and drop names and get away with it.

"You listen here." John said as he pointed at Ethan. "When you got into that school you took the place of someone who wanted to be there. Someone who worked hard to get in and didn't so you could."

"I did work hard!"

"I don't appreciate that tone, young man!"

"You are so sexy right now."

"Dean." John said before shaking his head. "You're going to go back next week and apologize to everyone and do whatever they say whether you want to or not and when Craig gets here, you're going to tell him exactly what happened."

"You told Craig!"

"Ethan, he worked really hard to get you two ready for this. You knew how serious this program was, you knew you needed to have an original routine and you decided to wing it. That's not how we do things."

"They tried to touch me in my wiener!"

"No one tried to touch your wiener." Evan sighed. "I was with you all day."

Sam was glad John was back on the winning team because he really had to idea how to deal with Ethan. He hadn't prepared, even though he knew he had to, and for the first time he was in a class with a bunch of kids who were on his same level, some were even better. The idea that any of them were better than Evan seemed a little farfetched, but apparently that was true as well. Wednesdays were certainly going to be a lot more interesting and Sam was hoping that next week went a lot better for everyone.

"Not that anyone care about regular school, for stupid people and Evan."

"Hey!"

"But I go back to school today and after a big drama queen nelly bottom hubbub, you know what?"

"Wha...what?" Dean asked Ollie. "Is this about me?"

"Mr. Watkins says not to call him his name no more." Ollie said before throwing down his chicken. "Got a new name!"

"Thank you for bringing that up, Ollie, I went and..."

"Offisalle, try and come up in here and say he got a new name. Offisalle. Milo! Pay attention!"

"No."

"You do it or I bottom you so bad!"

"Eh." Milo shrugged. "Don't think it work like that big brother."

"He's right." Sam said. "So you changed your name to Nelly Bottom?"

"I officially changed my name to Alex Watkins-Winchester yesterday."

"Boom!" Michael said as he made an exploding motion with his hands. "I got me an old lady."

"Weal old."

While everyone congratulated Alex on making an excellent choice, Sam looked over at Michael who was all beaming and blushing and he had every right to. Not only had he trapped a man like his daddy taught him, but he had himself a millionaire who not once made him take the garbage to the street. Dean had made Sam do that five or six times and it was just awful. Having a rich husband that was totally cock and ass whipped really was great, but having a man like Alex was even better. He was exactly what Michael deserved and Sam was sure he'd make a fine Winchester. He was honorary anyway, but making it all legal like was still nice.

"So exciting." Sam said before deciding to use everyone's good mood for his own devices. "Michael, how was your visit with Jeremy?"

Sam's plan was to bring up Jeremy privately, but since everyone was so happy he thought he might as well just go for it. Asking about Jeremy in front of everyone was like dropping his pants and taking a crap right in the box of chicken on the dining room table. Everyone, the kids included got quiet, but not one of them looked away from Michael. They all wanted to know as bad as Sam did and no one was staring harder than Aaron.

He was sitting almost directly across from Michael and feeding Max some little spoonfuls of mashed potatoes and tiny torn up bits of chicken. Max was very happy with his big boy meal, but even he seemed to recognize the J-word. He was gumming the hell out of something and his big brown eyes were fixated on Michael, who seriously looked like he was about to jump through the nearest window and not stop running until he hit the closest international border.

"You saw Jeremy today?" Aaron asked. "Here?"

"I uh...I was at school and just ran into him."

"Oh, Mifoo." Mary said as she shook her head. "Lies? On my birthday?"

"It's not your birthday."

"Oh...Lies on a day Ethan embarrass himself and the whole family?"

"Hey!"

"Okay! I went to New Haven to see Jeremy and we hung out at his new place and had lunch and we went shopping to get some stuff he needed for the house and I helped him hang curtains, are you happy, dad!"

"How exactly is he paying for a house?" John asked. "Is he living in the slums?"

"Grandpa, Connecticut doesn't have slums, and he's using the money dad gave him."

"Shit." Sam whispered to himself. "You give someone a couple of bucks to..."

"Sam, you gave us both fifty thousand dollars."

"What!" Dean yelled. "Why?"

"Because I'm nice, Dean. Zora, tell Dean how I gave you fifty thousand dollars!"

"I'll say whatever I want if you let me leave. You people have more drama than the combined casts of the Real Housewives."

"Finish eating then you may leave." Sam said. "Michael? Tell us about your day."

Michael was obviously very hesitant to say much but he took a deep breath, squeezed something of Alex's under the table and spoke calmly and concisely. Jeremy had rented a little house right near school, it was in a run of the mill very safe looking neighborhood and it was coming along very nicely. He had needed a few things and Michael wanted to take him shopping so they did that and had some lunch and did some things around the house. It sounded like a pretty standard day, but Sam knew they hadn't spent the day together in silence. There were conversations and while he was completely fine with respecting everyone's privacy, he thought it best for everyone if they had a little more information, information Michael didn't seem like he wanted to part with.

"Did he ask about anyone?"

"Mmhmm."

"Who?" Sam asked. "Who did he ask about?"

"Everyone." Michael said into his plate. "People and places and then things also, a couple of those."

"What about Max?" Aaron asked. "Did he ask about him when asking about people and places and things?"

"Of course..."

"Zora." Dean sighed. "Go home. Go get a fish sandwich on the way."

"Lesbian jokes aren't getting old at all." Zora said as she stood up. "Ethan, next week, I'm not dealing with that woman again, understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"See you guys tomorrow."

If there was one thing Sam had learned about Zora it was that she wanted to stay out of family drama and while she didn't know exactly what was going on she knew shit was going on. She told everyone goodbye, grabbed some food for Melody and hightailed it out of there. Honestly Sam wasn't so sure how well she was going to do taking the kids into the city, but not only had she handled everything just fine, she stood in as a parent, something only Alex had ever done before. Sam was pretty proud of her and he really hoped she enjoyed her stop at Long John Silver's on the way home.

"Well?" Aaron asked as soon as the front door closed. "What did he want to know?"

"Just how he was, how everyone was. I think it'd be really nice if maybe...someone else went to go see him."

"I'll go tomorrow." John said quietly. "Watch the kids on Friday and you two can go."

"Dad, I don't..."

"You're going to see your brother, Dean. End of discussion."

Sam didn't like being told what to do and Dean especially didn't like it. For a second he looked like he was gearing up for a fight, but thought better of it with all the kids sitting around the table staring at him. Sam wasn't sure he was ready to see Jeremy either, but the rest of the family had reached a somewhat uneasy peace. John was almost back to normal, Michael wasn't being a total bitch, and above all else, family was family. Sometimes they pissed you off, sometimes they hurt you, sometimes they left, but whatever they did whatever any of them ever did they were still family.

"Can you explain to me why this is so important to you?"

"Dean..."

"No, Sammy." Dean said. "I'm just asking a question. I get he's your friend, he's your family, but you have been waiting to marry that man since the first time you two laid eyes on each other. Why were you so upset we didn't tell you what happened in the middle of the wedding?"

"Because..." Michael said quietly. "Every adult at this table, all of us without exception, knows what it's like to feel like you've been abandoned by the people you love the most. Grandpa you left them. Dad, you left grandpa. Dad, you left. Alex's parents threw him out like old trash..."

"Michael, maybe this isn't the time to..."

"No, you all listen to me." Michael said to the kids. "You are so lucky because you will never know what it's like to feel that way because for the rest of your lives you will always be loved and wanted. If I had known what happened, I could have talked to Jeremy that night. I would have spent the whole night with him. He left, he did, that was his choice, but maybe I could have made him stay and reminded him that no matter what we're a family."

Michael certainly had a way with words because Sam was wiping at his eyes with a cheap fast food napkin and Dean looked close to doing the same. They hadn't handled the situation with Jeremy perfectly, but they could have done better, they should have been honest regardless of what else was going on. If anyone was going to make a difference it would have been Michael and instead of letting him help, they went to great lengths to keep him from helping.

A little while later when everyone else was cleaning up the mess from dinner Sam went into the office with Dean and Buster who were both flat on their stomachs. Dean was absolutely determined to get Buster to roll, but he had no interest in it. He just face planted into the rug and sighed occasionally while Dean rocked him from side to side. It wasn't doing any good, but it was cute, and it made Sam smile before he unlocked his phones and tapped the screen a few times.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Sam said before clearing his throat. "How's it going?"

"Oh, uh...you know...awesome demonic powers, incredible strength and speed, can't hang a damned shelf to save my life."

"Hashtag bottom problems." Dean said from the ground. "Hey."

"Hi, Dean."

"You work on something else, dad will help you with the shelf tomorrow and if he can't handle it, I will on Saturday. We're really looking forward to seeing your place."

"You're coming to see me?"

"Yeah, we..."

"We're thinking about it." Dean interrupted. "If we had some incentive besides fried chicken."

"I'm so sorry." Jeremy said as his voice cracked. "I shouldn't have said those things, I just...I wanted you to let me go."

"Jeremy." Sam laughed weakly. "We didn't let you go when you had a rapist demon inside you. We're never going to let you go."

"I'm still sorry, especially to you, Sam."

"It's okay."

"Jeremy uh..." Dean sighed. "I need to know this isn't about Max. I will always love you, you're always going to be a part of this family, but I need to know that you're not blaming that poor baby for anything."

"I was. It was easier to blame him than Aaron or myself. I wasn't ready for this. I didn't...I'm not strong like Sam. I can't handle it right now. I want him all to myself. I...I deserve that."

"You do." Dean nodded. "I agree with you, but things change and Aaron's a packaged deal now. It's all or nothing."

"I know."

"Don't give me too much credit." Sam said. "You think I wanted a constant reminder of Jenny that I had to see everyday? You think I liked not being able to go back to school so we could provide for Dean's son? I didn't. I didn't like it at all, but I loved him so much and then one day I woke up and I wasn't taking care of Dean's son anymore. I was taking care of our son."

"I can't do that right now."

"But?" Dean asked. "Can you see Max as your son one day?"

"I hope so. I love him, I do, I just...I need time right now. All I want is some time to figure my life out on my own."

Sam got that, he really did, but looking back being alone had been the worst decision he had ever made. Sure everything worked out really fucking well in the long run, but that solitude, especially when you were hurting, no good could come from that. That said Jeremy had made his choice and while no one had to respect it they did have to honor his wishes. Maybe a couple of months on his own was going to do wonders and there was no reason they couldn't visit as often as they wanted and he was welcome at the house anytime day or night.

"How's the house?" Dean asked as he stood up. "Is it nice?"

"Little smaller than I'm used to, but it's nice, it's getting there. I have an extra bedroom if the kids want to come or...you know further down the line if Aaron wants to come up and bring Max for the weekend."

"I'm sure the kids would love that." Dean said as he nudged Buster harder with his foot. "And you know...

"Dean!" Sam screamed. "What the hell!"

Dean was so intent on getting Buster to roll over that he nudged him hard enough to flip him onto his back. For a few seconds he was fine and just stared at the ceiling in complete and utter confusion before he started screaming. He wasn't hurt, he was just confused about why someone he loved and trusted he basically just kicked him onto his back. He immediately stopped crying the second Sam picked him up and they both glared at Dean, who looked downright psychotic.

"Buster just rolled over for the first time!"

"You kicked him over!"

"Not even, he's a big boy rolling over by himself! Aw, baby!"

"You guys seem pretty busy and my pizza's here. Talk later, okay?"

"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Let me deal with this."

"Bye guys."

"Bye."

As soon as Sam hung up the phone he tossed it on the desk, forced Dean back on his stomach and kicked the shit out of him until he flopped over and started whining while staring at the ceiling and trying to get back up. Buster really enjoyed that so Sam kicked him a few more times for good measure. After all Sam always led by example and there with nothing wrong with teaching his son and punishing Dean at the same time.