ever since puberty...EVERYBODY STARES AT ME!!
what have i been doing with my time?
you know what.
i apologize live journal.
you used to be my dedication. my cream fraiche on my french rolls. you were everything to me.
but then i found this evil site.
it took over my life and warped my sense of perception. i now live in a world that consists of bulletins and top 8s and comments are my anti-drug. i don't really know what to do with myself.
but you were HEALTHY, live journal. you taught me how to read and love. you taught me how to ride a bike in the summers and how to make christmas cookies in the winter. we jumped in leaves together and looked at the flower buds blooming in the wonderful days of spring. and now, my life is a world of infatuation and pain. pain over addiction.
how did i ever leave you?
well, my last real post about my life and not random complaing or quizzes offline was on august 24th. what the h-3-double hockey sticks is wrong with me?! oh yeah, 1 wR173 lYk3 d1$ n0w, N 1 M hXc M@$73R (<--link??? to what??) @ 17. but i won't do that to you for an entire entry.
this year...hands down, its better than last year. last year was so weird and hardcore dramatic. i say people are dramatic, but really i'm dramatic, because i get so emotional and freak out alot. i mean, i've had my share of drama this year, but i think my anti-sociality on the weekends with an exception of like 4 people really pays off. the homework gets tragically bad at times, and i don't have all the grades i'd want exactly, but is it really worth it to kill myself for those A's? i ain't really down wit that. fockey was fun, i mean, it was weird for a while because everyone was freaking out and getting really upset, but then the team made up THE DAY I WAS SICK and WENT TO F-ING DQ, and i wasn't there. but it was really fun and i'll miss all the seniors and it was a good season overall, even though we didn't condition nearly as much. history and math are def my fave classes. history is amazing, even though the homework and tests suck, but i learn so much and mr. martin and i are really BFF. SOME PEOPLE (coughmimi/anniecough) may tell you that they're best friends, but that's because they don't see the hardcore action we have. i like math even though its so hard, i really love when i understand it, even though i know ms. hoza thinks i'm the biggest dumbass she's ever had. julia kellie and i study group hardcore pretty much 2-3 times a week. alot of the time we don't really study, or i just study and they scream about the same boys constantly as those boys text message them. then we eat food. but sometimes we study and we study hardcore.
what else happened in the fall? hmm well, i had my party in the beginning of the year, which was fun, and not as many people showed up as i worried about, but it wasn't really awkward with all the random people who were there together. then afterwards, matt chambers drove brad, mimi, miranda and me to see this guy who does weird karate staff fighting moves with headphones on. we kind of watched him from afar, until mimi told us that she wanted to talk to him and told him what a great job he's doing. he was on the ground at this point because he had messed up and was upset with himself and was beating his head into the ground. he told us that he usually practices "every third night" but that was his third straight night out, because he was "training". k3wl guy, really. well then field hockey for a long time, and umm...what else? ROLLING STONES, but i already updated about that. band- marching was fun because the freshmen in my section are really fun. molly smith and i exploded raisins in the school microwave. spirit week kind of sucked- but thats ok because it always does. we wont really go into deetz.
ummmm...what else has happened?? well my life doesn't really consist of anything anymore. my dad wakes me up every morning, he used to bring me coffee, but then my mom found out and IT STUNTS MY GROWTH AND WE ALL KNOW I'M GOING TO GROW TO 5'10" LIKE TE DOCTORS SAY AND NOT STAY 5'4.5" FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH SIZE 11 FEET, so now i have to drink tea. i'm so caffeine addicted. i take fraps with me everywhere, i would stuff them down my pants to get into UVA games. along with my flask, which is prob the hottest thing i own, which liz sullivan gave to me. its really sketchy and ghetto, but i like it like that (she's workin' that back). UVA games were fun-i had to fight my way to get to them all somehow, but i was always lucky. well, i didn't go to the FSU game, which was supposedly the most exciting, since i was sitting on the tennis courts at school making out with andrew boozer dressed as darth vader and watching him beat james into the tennis nets. but i wake up every morning, and normally don't move until about 7:18, and then i fly out of bed and the next 22 minutes are HARDCOREPEESHOWERHAIRBRUSHDRINKTEALOTIONDRESSFREAKOUT and then i jump in kellie's car which is always unusually hot and i brush my teeth in her car and she has to stop at major intersections and let me spit in public. but then lship, where normally the class officers "work on prom" and actually eat or send random emails (like the other day when we asked dave matthews's webmaster to ask him to play our prom). schoolschoolschool i guidance run during study hall and i walk around aimlessly during lunch. i really don't enjoy standing with much of anyone anymore, other than like 4 people, because i really am anti-social. i don't know what happened to me, but i guess i just don't have the same interests as anyone anymore. i don't really have a group of friends anymore. i mean, i never really had one, but i think i used to fall into like a bunch, and now i don't know if anyone would put me in one at all. and i was upset about it alot for a while, and sometimes i am when i know people have get togethers and just don't invite me, not on purpose, but just because they don't think of me when they think of people to invite, but for the past month or so i've really been ok. i don't think anyone really likes me any less, i'm just not close with alot of people as i was. i mean, i'm still relatively close with most of the people i would consider my close friends, and i'm definately closer with some, but i just don't really know about anything anymore. i'm definately not as close with a few people, and probably never really will be again, but life goes on. i just want to see how this all plays out. i know i love all my friends and i'm content with what i have right now.
what was i even saying? how boring i am? yeah, well...WHATEV. i drink alot of apple cider. i definately don't eat as much, but if there's anything i eat in mass amounts, its berry berry kix. i eat those almost constantly at school. miranda and i pass them to each other in chem, where she has to watch me drink the AWFUL, HORRIBLE, CEAREALY milk afterwards. i love that milk. and i watch alot of reruns of the OC. i do alot of homework, i'm throwing shotput again, but other than talking on the phone for hours to the same two people (yeah, YOU KNOW who you are), doing homework, and being caffeine deprived, i guess myspace and facebook are my life. i can;t even get online as much because maggie is hardcore anal about the computer and won't let me get on for more than 15 minute increments and she sits down here from 4-11 incessently looking at stupid things like snowboard stuff until she has to eat dinner or something. i really don't have a life. but adaptive and wintergreen are starting up and that means even-more-lifeless-in-another-way time is starting. oh, the good old days of following someone whose being followed by hundreds of creepy boys up and down slopes while getting beaten in the face by ice crystals in 5 degree weather.
so, overall, i guess this year has been good. i worry about college alot, and sometimes i wonder if i'm hurting myseld more than hurting by having so many extercurriculars, but i really don't think i'd be studying more. i read my college book pretty much 24/sev and i don't really plan on doing much else. but i really have no clue about where i would go. and i don't plan on deciding soon. i have alot of work, but i guess i don't normally mind cause i gots it figged. and i really am in love with the rent soundtrack. i kindasortamaybe listen to it nonstop and i don't see a time when i might stop soon.
i really think i'll start updating alot more often, even though i don't really have time. because all the people who do update are really stupid and depressing and i kind of hate reading stupid depressing things over and over. other than miranda, who kindasortahella inspired me to write in this. but tell me if i left anything big out, and i'll include it in my next one.
love,
Laura
p$-i stalked my chemistry student teacher on uvafacebook until i accidently showed about 8 too many people and everyone told her and she freaked out.
pp$- i really still don't have my learners. so SUCK IT.