solace
Had a nice long bitchy phonecall from Armstrong today, in which we discussed my sister's many many deficiencies to our utmost satisfaction.
Armstrongisms:
(He and Pauly are convinced any attractive foreign young man walking alone down the wild North East streets MUST be gay. Eta: this is because they are optimists.)
"He's got a wand on him somewhere." "Eh? What do you mean, Armstrong?" "Cos he's a fairy, you daft besom."
(On house buying) "It never goes smoothly, if it does there's something the matter."
"Darling, it's a lovely hat but I wouldn't keep nails in it."
I told him about the oyster bloke and he accused me of exaggerating. I mentioned how after you've seen enough people take off their clothes you just want them to put them back on again. He said he'd noticed the same thing when he'd been running a nightclub with strippers. (Not a strip club - that would have been vulgar.)
I want to go visit my uncle and get coddled and over-fed and bitched at and spoiled. (Armstrong cringes when you give him a hug because, as he says, of the bazoobas.) You can tell he was brought up by a bunch of formidable women - WOMEN WITH IMMENSE BAZOOBAS - half the time he's channeling them. Exept when he's making cocktails: he has the downstairs larder done up as a small bar, optics and everything.
Armstrongisms:
(He and Pauly are convinced any attractive foreign young man walking alone down the wild North East streets MUST be gay. Eta: this is because they are optimists.)
"He's got a wand on him somewhere." "Eh? What do you mean, Armstrong?" "Cos he's a fairy, you daft besom."
(On house buying) "It never goes smoothly, if it does there's something the matter."
"Darling, it's a lovely hat but I wouldn't keep nails in it."
I told him about the oyster bloke and he accused me of exaggerating. I mentioned how after you've seen enough people take off their clothes you just want them to put them back on again. He said he'd noticed the same thing when he'd been running a nightclub with strippers. (Not a strip club - that would have been vulgar.)
I want to go visit my uncle and get coddled and over-fed and bitched at and spoiled. (Armstrong cringes when you give him a hug because, as he says, of the bazoobas.) You can tell he was brought up by a bunch of formidable women - WOMEN WITH IMMENSE BAZOOBAS - half the time he's channeling them. Exept when he's making cocktails: he has the downstairs larder done up as a small bar, optics and everything.