"moving forward"
its some condesending office term for "you fucked it up, so for future reference, lets do this instead." they say that at work alot. it makes me feel like im being scolded.
but.
moving forward.
im forcing myself to stay positive as i go into a very *very* tight money situation. if nothing else, its a very motivating event.
being in a highrise apartment all day is like spending the day in the sky. kinda. it give me the kind of good feelings of being in an airplane. that happens between the ohmygodwerareallgoingtodie feelings. i can see, i think, some kind of very tall building in staten island. there are lots of helicopters too that go from jersey and back. its kind of serene up there.
nevertheless, there are weird things i do in order to not die on a plane. i have to stay awake or else the plane will instatanly fall from the sky. my concious brain waves are the only thing keeping the plane aloft. and if anything, i feel i should be awake for my areal incineration. once i went to arizona to visit my dad. at the ariport my mom bought me a bottle of water saying that id get dehydrated on the plane. but i got on the plane and it just made me sad because the bottle reminded me of her. so i didnt drink it. not matter how thirsty i was. but i brought it all the way home to nc with me. because i knew that some subconcious element would awaken, some cosmic ripple would alert my mom that i was going to forget her if i drank it and threw it away. so if i would get something from someone before a trip id usually never touch it until i saw them again. i will always play a song on my piano or keyboard, both when i had that privelege, sometimes i will just play a cadence. but i will not play the resolving chord. i end on the dominant fifth. and its that suspended tension that propels me safely back home, at which time i go promptly to the keys and play the final chord and then start unpacking
i miss my piano...
but.
moving forward.
im forcing myself to stay positive as i go into a very *very* tight money situation. if nothing else, its a very motivating event.
being in a highrise apartment all day is like spending the day in the sky. kinda. it give me the kind of good feelings of being in an airplane. that happens between the ohmygodwerareallgoingtodie feelings. i can see, i think, some kind of very tall building in staten island. there are lots of helicopters too that go from jersey and back. its kind of serene up there.
nevertheless, there are weird things i do in order to not die on a plane. i have to stay awake or else the plane will instatanly fall from the sky. my concious brain waves are the only thing keeping the plane aloft. and if anything, i feel i should be awake for my areal incineration. once i went to arizona to visit my dad. at the ariport my mom bought me a bottle of water saying that id get dehydrated on the plane. but i got on the plane and it just made me sad because the bottle reminded me of her. so i didnt drink it. not matter how thirsty i was. but i brought it all the way home to nc with me. because i knew that some subconcious element would awaken, some cosmic ripple would alert my mom that i was going to forget her if i drank it and threw it away. so if i would get something from someone before a trip id usually never touch it until i saw them again. i will always play a song on my piano or keyboard, both when i had that privelege, sometimes i will just play a cadence. but i will not play the resolving chord. i end on the dominant fifth. and its that suspended tension that propels me safely back home, at which time i go promptly to the keys and play the final chord and then start unpacking
i miss my piano...