wow...sure been awhile....;;-_-
I remember a long time ago when I promised to not take months of gaps inbetween my journal entries... forget that... *annoyed* ...grrr.....
Anyway, its already the final month of summer and I feel no completeness, I mean, I haven't even gone swimming yet!!!!! I sat here w/ nothing to do, I thought, "Hey, I'm going to update my old, forgotten, dusty livejournal!!!"; and thats why this new entry is here right now, go nightly bordom.
Right now the relatives; my mom's sister, her husband, and her 2 kids; are staying at our house so my life's chaotic levels are starting to wake up again. Of course there's 2 kinds of chaotics in my mind; boring chaotic and exciting chaotic. Boring chaotic is confusion that you're forced to do and you can't find any excitment in it, exciting chaotic is when a lot of things pile up on you but its not that bad, in fact it saves you from bordom so its cool. This right now qualifies as boring chaotic, as an event that's kind of just...there, not the worst thing on earth and is very bearable. So right now my mind is still in a relatively relaxed state. Now when school begins again my mind will be back to normal. \/~.^
Everytime I have big time gaps inbetween my journal updates I always strive at great lengths to fill them in, well this time...I'm not, because... well, I don't feel like it, and nothing really major has happened. Since last entry the only memorable things were school ending, me getting my permit (I know, about time too...), camp, DVBS, and another one of my "memorable" sleepovers (ok, that actually is a story, so I'll explain it later).
Actually, a big problem I'm struggling with right now is, senior year. I know its exciting and fun, but I can't help seeing beyond that; college, graduating, leaving, ...growing up. I honestly am really scared, laugh at me all you want, but its a struggle for me. I have to leave home, my comfort zone, for like, school. I also know that college is going to be hard, and another thing that scares me is that I have no idea what I'm going to aim for. I don't know what my major will be, what my minor will be, what I want to do for a living, I don't even know where I want to go! Much less have I applied anywhere... But the thing I realize is that I'm leaving my childhood behind, my friends, my memories, the fun times, they're going to be the past in a year or so. And besides that, my friends aren't even worried! They know what to do, and they're ready! Why does growing up have to be so hard...? In fact, usually my summers are all really boring and go by fast; this one is one I'm enjoying to the fullest so much in fact that I'm soaking up each minute so it will never end... I'm trying to enjoy my childhood comfort zone...until I have to leave it...
Anyway, its already the final month of summer and I feel no completeness, I mean, I haven't even gone swimming yet!!!!! I sat here w/ nothing to do, I thought, "Hey, I'm going to update my old, forgotten, dusty livejournal!!!"; and thats why this new entry is here right now, go nightly bordom.
Right now the relatives; my mom's sister, her husband, and her 2 kids; are staying at our house so my life's chaotic levels are starting to wake up again. Of course there's 2 kinds of chaotics in my mind; boring chaotic and exciting chaotic. Boring chaotic is confusion that you're forced to do and you can't find any excitment in it, exciting chaotic is when a lot of things pile up on you but its not that bad, in fact it saves you from bordom so its cool. This right now qualifies as boring chaotic, as an event that's kind of just...there, not the worst thing on earth and is very bearable. So right now my mind is still in a relatively relaxed state. Now when school begins again my mind will be back to normal. \/~.^
Everytime I have big time gaps inbetween my journal updates I always strive at great lengths to fill them in, well this time...I'm not, because... well, I don't feel like it, and nothing really major has happened. Since last entry the only memorable things were school ending, me getting my permit (I know, about time too...), camp, DVBS, and another one of my "memorable" sleepovers (ok, that actually is a story, so I'll explain it later).
Actually, a big problem I'm struggling with right now is, senior year. I know its exciting and fun, but I can't help seeing beyond that; college, graduating, leaving, ...growing up. I honestly am really scared, laugh at me all you want, but its a struggle for me. I have to leave home, my comfort zone, for like, school. I also know that college is going to be hard, and another thing that scares me is that I have no idea what I'm going to aim for. I don't know what my major will be, what my minor will be, what I want to do for a living, I don't even know where I want to go! Much less have I applied anywhere... But the thing I realize is that I'm leaving my childhood behind, my friends, my memories, the fun times, they're going to be the past in a year or so. And besides that, my friends aren't even worried! They know what to do, and they're ready! Why does growing up have to be so hard...? In fact, usually my summers are all really boring and go by fast; this one is one I'm enjoying to the fullest so much in fact that I'm soaking up each minute so it will never end... I'm trying to enjoy my childhood comfort zone...until I have to leave it...