School and parental woes
Every time a new semester starts I start having this odd, unbearable anxiety. I've had it since middle school to be honest, but since school only started once a year I didn't really pay it much mind.
But then I started college. Two, sometimes three, new semesters a year and the anxiety intensified. Every week before a semester starts I'd just get really bummed and hysterical and everything. I don't know. I still don't understand it. No matter what I do or how much I prepare it still comes. There must be something wrong with me.
Parents don't help. I tried to tell them about my anxiety and my mom just told me to not be anxious, to not worry. That Christians have God and why should we worry?
But I can't. I can't just magically let go of this and be cheerful. It's not like I'm willingly choosing to screw with my emotions like this. I don't know.
And now she just burst in my room yelling at me about why I'm not studying the books I bought (even though she yelled at me earlier for having to buy these books in the first place, as if it was optional. Plus I scoured the used book bulletin boards for super cheap books so I basically got $200 worth of books for $35, but that's apparently still not good enough).
Basically she was saying that this is why I don't have good grades (I have B's and C's, but because I got rejected from two nursing school programs that must mean my grades aren't good enough). Why is this happening? I can't take this anymore. I wish I knew what to do.
But then I started college. Two, sometimes three, new semesters a year and the anxiety intensified. Every week before a semester starts I'd just get really bummed and hysterical and everything. I don't know. I still don't understand it. No matter what I do or how much I prepare it still comes. There must be something wrong with me.
Parents don't help. I tried to tell them about my anxiety and my mom just told me to not be anxious, to not worry. That Christians have God and why should we worry?
But I can't. I can't just magically let go of this and be cheerful. It's not like I'm willingly choosing to screw with my emotions like this. I don't know.
And now she just burst in my room yelling at me about why I'm not studying the books I bought (even though she yelled at me earlier for having to buy these books in the first place, as if it was optional. Plus I scoured the used book bulletin boards for super cheap books so I basically got $200 worth of books for $35, but that's apparently still not good enough).
Basically she was saying that this is why I don't have good grades (I have B's and C's, but because I got rejected from two nursing school programs that must mean my grades aren't good enough). Why is this happening? I can't take this anymore. I wish I knew what to do.