I wrote Portal fic. Eyup.
Title: Alternate Core Detected
Author: bishojo_kitsune
Word Count: 2002
Summary: A 'what-if' fic where Chell and Wheatley switch places during their second encounter with GLaDOS
Warning(s): None really, some spoilers up to the late beginning of the game, but nothing is revealed.
Author's notes: Based off of this picture by the lovely waffleguppies. Idea and picture are due to her.
---
"Get to her! I'll find you!"
I called out to Chell as we found ourselves sliding through the lab's transport tubes after my *impressive* hacking skills, thankyouverymuch. Somehow we got separated (which wasn't part of the plan by the way) and all I could do was promise to find her again. Shouldn't be a problem, I always keep my promises after all. A core's only as good as their word, why else would we come with fully functional voice capabilities?
"Oof!"
I fell out of the tube and onto a dark floor. Problem number two, riding the transport tube, while quite exciting, also leaves me without both a rail and a loyal test partner.
"Um… Hello? Hello, i-it is quite dark. Hello?"
I remembered my flashlight, but I hesitated to turn it on for fear that the first time was a fluke. Would I truly die this time? Could it be like that nine lives thing I've heard about and am I wasting them? What number was I on now, 75?!
If I had a functioning respiratory system I'd be hyperventilating right now. Or at the very least hyperosillating.
Before I had the chance to decide on my fate, a bunch of spotlights came on at once showing me a door. There were some…words on it, something like…umm… 'Door to the Surface!' Aha! That must be what it says!
"Now if only I could…" I paused for a moment, putting aside the fact that I had no hands or means in which I could hack the door, could I really leave without Chell? I mean, I've given the idea some thought before, especially after she didn't seem to mind not letting me in on the fact that she and her had a prior history. Getting crushed for the trouble hardly seemed fair, you know?
But… She was the first to actually listen to me, human or not. And the way she looked at me when I saw her again, bouncing on those… bouncy plate thingies; what do the humans call it? Relief? She…wanted to see me again-?
"AHH!"
Suddenly the word-y door fell on me, how rude.
Upon further inspection I realized that the door led to a rather wall-colored world. Huh. Was this what all the fuss was about?
Of course, before I could get a good look at the surface world I fell into yet another dark room. This one, however, soon started moving. Fascinating! …That is, until I was eye to eye with-
"Oh you are kidding me."
---
So I got the feeling that this wasn't the surface world, but then again, it was just a hunch.
Perhaps it was the fact that I seemed to be trapped in a glass box in a dark metal room, or it might have just been that the rain in Spain wasn't falling on the plain. In fact, there was no rain, weird innit?
"I should have known she wouldn't be dumb enough to fall for that trap, but to throw you down as bait, she's more of a resourceful, cold-blooded murderer than I thought."
"Um yes well…"
Her iris narrowed, "Where is she?" She asked sharply.
"You mean Chell? She and I got separated in the tubes awhile bac- I mean, I know not who you speak of." I focused my iris to the upper left to show my (false) innocence. I think she was buying it.
Then she surrounded the glass box with turrets. Okay, maybe she was a little suspicious…
"You lost her in the pneumatic diversity vents?" She questioned. Before I could answer she hacked a tube through the glass spreading the shards everywhere! Show off…
Then, wouldn't you know, Chell came flying out the tube onto me. I failed to catch her, but she didn't seem to mind. Maybe she felt it was fair payback or something. She scrambled herself together trying to fire portals into the glass, but to no avail.
"Ha. Ha. Ha." She laughed. "I'm surprised you could even fit into those vents, you must have greased it up with all the butter you were planning to eat for lunch. For once you made a good decision."
I noticed Chell rolling her eyes as she tried to fire a portal through the hole in the glass the hacking tube made. Still didn't work.
"Now now, you took so much trouble getting here we can't have you leaving so soon. Look we can even have that party that you missed from last time. Yay."
I for one was excited at the idea of a party, didn't have too many of those around here. Chell however, looked less than pleased. Suddenly the turrets came to life and focused their red lights on us. "Wait is this the party? I don't think this is really how they work. I thought we were supposed to have fun at parties."
"Shows how much a moron like you knows."
"HEY! I'm not-"
I was cut off at the sound of Chell ramming the sides of the glass box with the portal gun. It seems she took advantage of my argument with Her to try and hack her way out of this room. That's my partner!
"Stop that! Don't you know how much that gun is worth?"
Chell kept ramming, one of the metal prong things broke off; bad sign. Can't blame her at trying though, she shows promise for a beginner.
"That's enough! And why haven't the turrets been firing? What did you do?"
Chell just flashed her a cocky grin, it took me a moment to figure out why. "Oh wait a minute, are these the crap turrets that we programed to switch for the real ones?"
"Oh I see, you two were actually doing something back there other than drowning yourselves in fat tubes of ice cream. Doesn't matter, I still have your old friend after all, Deadly Neurotoxin. And he's coming in the same way you did."
There was then a huge gust of air coming from the giant tube above us, after a few seconds we were showered in confetti.
"You think you're so clever don't you? I don't think it's possible for me to hate you even more than I already do."
"Ahh!" I screamed as She started bringing out her giant claws. I was scared, so scared. There was no way we were getting out of this again, especially me. Repair protocols can only do so much. I felt my body shake. I was shutting my shutters with all my might. This was it. It was the end. It was-
I then felt a strong electromagnetic pulse surrounding me. I cracked my shutters slowly, peaking out and realized that Chell had grabbed me first. I saw another one coming at me, but then one of her boots came in contact with it really fast and really hard.
"Stop that!" She exclaimed in a mix of horror and annoyance. "I know you're brain damaged, but this is downright barbaric!"
I rotated my iris around to face her, "That was amazing partner! Thank y-!"
She was exhaling rapidly, the same look on her face that she had when we were reunited. No, wait; It seemed a bit different this time. It was as if she had been just as afraid as I was, but for some reason she wasn't anymore. Very peculiar. Especially, as I got a better look, she had actually gotten caught by the giant claws. Why wasn't she scared then? Had she forgotten?
"U-Um, listen partner. I hate to break it to you, but um…you're still stuck. You're still trapped, and, well, you went for me first. Probably a mistake on your part." I laughed politely.
She shook her head.
"It wasn't a mistake?" I blinked. "You…meant to save me?"
Chell nodded with a smile. It made me want to smile too, if I could. She patted the top of my core gently and just like that it was as if she was making up for all those other times she failed to save to me. Things that were probably not her fault in the first place, but it made me feel better all the same.
"Oh please stop." She called out in an exasperated tone from behind us. "Spare me this delusion of kindness-fueled retribution."
"Ha! You're probably just jealous!" I turned to Chell, "So um… What now?" I looked at her eagerly, but the blank look on her face made me start to think twice. I was about to speak again, but a loud booming voice echoed across the chamber.
"WARNING, CENTRAL CORE IS 80 PERCENT CORRUPT."
"Now look what you did. I'm going to have to reboot and purge these errors you've caused; I hope you're proud of yourself. I ought to give you a present when I return. How about a gold star in the form of a crusher? I didn't think I'd ever have to pull one of those out, but barbaric means are the answer to barbaric fat morons."
"ALTERNATE CORE DETECTED."
"Wait what is that voice talking about?"
My iris widened with an excited realization. "Ooh Ooh! I think they're talking about me!"
"TO INITIATE A CORE TRANSFER, PLEASE DEPOSIT SUBSTITUTE CORE IN RECEPTACLE."
We all looked down to see a port pop out of the ground active and ready.
"I need to get in there!" I looked at Chell, "You think there's any way you can jam me in there?"
She looked at me questioningly.
"Now, time is of the essence! Just pop me in there, the sooner the better. I promise it will be quick. Well…I'm actually not quite sure about that, I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing; first time and all. B-But I have heard a lot about it, and it shouldn't take long, not long at all!"
Chell shrugged as she aimed the gun towards the ground.
"Not so fast."
Suddenly the claw holding us started to heave us back and forth. "Whoooooah!"
"Let go." She said menacingly, almost like a growl.
"D-Don't listen to her partner!"
"STALEMATE DETECTED. TO RESOLVE PLEASE HAVE A STALEMATE ASSOCIATE PRESS THE STALEMATE RESOLUTION BUTTON."
The back wall started opening up revealing a button, just as the voice said.
"We have to press that button!" I looked down, "…Once I'm in there that is."
Chell nodded as she aimed me at the port. Well, tried, bless her soul. It was rather difficult with Her constantly shaking us. I finally felt the gun release me, but I was way off from the intended target and, at the same time, hurtling quickly towards the ground.
"Waaaaaah!" I yelled for, what felt like the 35th time today.
Suddenly there was a flash of blue beneath me, then orange, as I came flying out. Before I knew it I was merely centimeters from the resolution button.
"Grrr."
Her claws lunged at me, grabbing me from midair and digging into my wires. Quite painful. But as I looked up the button was pushed in. Huh. Guess I was a better stalemate associate than I was led to believe. Funny, considering I was told that I would die from pressing buttons.
"STALEMATE RESOLVED."
I shook my optic for a second. We had done it! We actually succeeded! The claw that had me in its tight grasp dropped me onto the ground and fell beside me dead. "HaHA! We did it Partner!" I looked over to see Her hanging lifeless and Chell…sitting in the core transfer port? She must have fallen in during all the excitement.
"Ok now just come fetch me and plug me in-"
"ALTERNATE INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM ACCEPTED. CORE TRANSFER WILL CONTINUE SHORTLY."
I blinked, "What's he talking about?" She and Chell had different reactions however.
She tried to budge but to no avail. "No, nononononono!"
Chell had a similar state of mind as she tried to leap out of the port but was soon dragged under. I then heard the most terrifying sound echo from below. A scream of sheer pain. "…Chell?" I spoke timidly.
Machines then surrounded Her cutting off her circuitry. "Get your hands off me! No! Stop! NO! Nooo! NOOO!" She made a similar scream.
The floor beneath Her rose up, surrounding Her frame and obscuring her from view. After what felt like forever (something I already had experience with), the walls fell and dropped Her core uncaringly on the ground. The core-less chassis then rose up and the center of which opened to reveal a pod housing Chell.
"Partner! Boy let me tell you was I ever worried-!"
Sparking wires surrounded her head, new ones digging into her skull every new second causing her hands to convulse in pain.
"Are…Are you alright?"
The lights in the room dimmed as the panels realigned themselves to look much more intense. The claw that was beside me had come back to life, grabbing me once again and swiftly bringing me to the center of the room to face her.
"Partner?" I looked at her hesitantly. "…Chell?"
As I said her name the claw holding me suddenly dug into my wiring much more intensely than She had just moments before. My iris constricted as the claw was only one millimeter from crushing me as it had in the past. I shuddered involuntarily, still trying to figure out what was going on.
"You." Her voice coughed out. "You. Little. Moron. You don't even know what you've done, do you?"
I struggled to look over and saw Her core lying forgotten in the corner, disregarded without thought.
"She is not just a regular test subject. She is an unstoppable killing machine. She is, or was, the most dangerous human I have ever had the misfortune to encounter. She never, ever gives up."
Her iris, despite flickering and fading, stared up at me with a bright, intense glare.
"And you just put her in charge of the whole facility."
*Clap*
*Clap*
*Clap*
It was at that moment that I started to realize maybe everything wasn't going according to plan after all.
Author: bishojo_kitsune
Word Count: 2002
Summary: A 'what-if' fic where Chell and Wheatley switch places during their second encounter with GLaDOS
Warning(s): None really, some spoilers up to the late beginning of the game, but nothing is revealed.
Author's notes: Based off of this picture by the lovely waffleguppies. Idea and picture are due to her.
---
"Get to her! I'll find you!"
I called out to Chell as we found ourselves sliding through the lab's transport tubes after my *impressive* hacking skills, thankyouverymuch. Somehow we got separated (which wasn't part of the plan by the way) and all I could do was promise to find her again. Shouldn't be a problem, I always keep my promises after all. A core's only as good as their word, why else would we come with fully functional voice capabilities?
"Oof!"
I fell out of the tube and onto a dark floor. Problem number two, riding the transport tube, while quite exciting, also leaves me without both a rail and a loyal test partner.
"Um… Hello? Hello, i-it is quite dark. Hello?"
I remembered my flashlight, but I hesitated to turn it on for fear that the first time was a fluke. Would I truly die this time? Could it be like that nine lives thing I've heard about and am I wasting them? What number was I on now, 75?!
If I had a functioning respiratory system I'd be hyperventilating right now. Or at the very least hyperosillating.
Before I had the chance to decide on my fate, a bunch of spotlights came on at once showing me a door. There were some…words on it, something like…umm… 'Door to the Surface!' Aha! That must be what it says!
"Now if only I could…" I paused for a moment, putting aside the fact that I had no hands or means in which I could hack the door, could I really leave without Chell? I mean, I've given the idea some thought before, especially after she didn't seem to mind not letting me in on the fact that she and her had a prior history. Getting crushed for the trouble hardly seemed fair, you know?
But… She was the first to actually listen to me, human or not. And the way she looked at me when I saw her again, bouncing on those… bouncy plate thingies; what do the humans call it? Relief? She…wanted to see me again-?
"AHH!"
Suddenly the word-y door fell on me, how rude.
Upon further inspection I realized that the door led to a rather wall-colored world. Huh. Was this what all the fuss was about?
Of course, before I could get a good look at the surface world I fell into yet another dark room. This one, however, soon started moving. Fascinating! …That is, until I was eye to eye with-
"Oh you are kidding me."
---
So I got the feeling that this wasn't the surface world, but then again, it was just a hunch.
Perhaps it was the fact that I seemed to be trapped in a glass box in a dark metal room, or it might have just been that the rain in Spain wasn't falling on the plain. In fact, there was no rain, weird innit?
"I should have known she wouldn't be dumb enough to fall for that trap, but to throw you down as bait, she's more of a resourceful, cold-blooded murderer than I thought."
"Um yes well…"
Her iris narrowed, "Where is she?" She asked sharply.
"You mean Chell? She and I got separated in the tubes awhile bac- I mean, I know not who you speak of." I focused my iris to the upper left to show my (false) innocence. I think she was buying it.
Then she surrounded the glass box with turrets. Okay, maybe she was a little suspicious…
"You lost her in the pneumatic diversity vents?" She questioned. Before I could answer she hacked a tube through the glass spreading the shards everywhere! Show off…
Then, wouldn't you know, Chell came flying out the tube onto me. I failed to catch her, but she didn't seem to mind. Maybe she felt it was fair payback or something. She scrambled herself together trying to fire portals into the glass, but to no avail.
"Ha. Ha. Ha." She laughed. "I'm surprised you could even fit into those vents, you must have greased it up with all the butter you were planning to eat for lunch. For once you made a good decision."
I noticed Chell rolling her eyes as she tried to fire a portal through the hole in the glass the hacking tube made. Still didn't work.
"Now now, you took so much trouble getting here we can't have you leaving so soon. Look we can even have that party that you missed from last time. Yay."
I for one was excited at the idea of a party, didn't have too many of those around here. Chell however, looked less than pleased. Suddenly the turrets came to life and focused their red lights on us. "Wait is this the party? I don't think this is really how they work. I thought we were supposed to have fun at parties."
"Shows how much a moron like you knows."
"HEY! I'm not-"
I was cut off at the sound of Chell ramming the sides of the glass box with the portal gun. It seems she took advantage of my argument with Her to try and hack her way out of this room. That's my partner!
"Stop that! Don't you know how much that gun is worth?"
Chell kept ramming, one of the metal prong things broke off; bad sign. Can't blame her at trying though, she shows promise for a beginner.
"That's enough! And why haven't the turrets been firing? What did you do?"
Chell just flashed her a cocky grin, it took me a moment to figure out why. "Oh wait a minute, are these the crap turrets that we programed to switch for the real ones?"
"Oh I see, you two were actually doing something back there other than drowning yourselves in fat tubes of ice cream. Doesn't matter, I still have your old friend after all, Deadly Neurotoxin. And he's coming in the same way you did."
There was then a huge gust of air coming from the giant tube above us, after a few seconds we were showered in confetti.
"You think you're so clever don't you? I don't think it's possible for me to hate you even more than I already do."
"Ahh!" I screamed as She started bringing out her giant claws. I was scared, so scared. There was no way we were getting out of this again, especially me. Repair protocols can only do so much. I felt my body shake. I was shutting my shutters with all my might. This was it. It was the end. It was-
I then felt a strong electromagnetic pulse surrounding me. I cracked my shutters slowly, peaking out and realized that Chell had grabbed me first. I saw another one coming at me, but then one of her boots came in contact with it really fast and really hard.
"Stop that!" She exclaimed in a mix of horror and annoyance. "I know you're brain damaged, but this is downright barbaric!"
I rotated my iris around to face her, "That was amazing partner! Thank y-!"
She was exhaling rapidly, the same look on her face that she had when we were reunited. No, wait; It seemed a bit different this time. It was as if she had been just as afraid as I was, but for some reason she wasn't anymore. Very peculiar. Especially, as I got a better look, she had actually gotten caught by the giant claws. Why wasn't she scared then? Had she forgotten?
"U-Um, listen partner. I hate to break it to you, but um…you're still stuck. You're still trapped, and, well, you went for me first. Probably a mistake on your part." I laughed politely.
She shook her head.
"It wasn't a mistake?" I blinked. "You…meant to save me?"
Chell nodded with a smile. It made me want to smile too, if I could. She patted the top of my core gently and just like that it was as if she was making up for all those other times she failed to save to me. Things that were probably not her fault in the first place, but it made me feel better all the same.
"Oh please stop." She called out in an exasperated tone from behind us. "Spare me this delusion of kindness-fueled retribution."
"Ha! You're probably just jealous!" I turned to Chell, "So um… What now?" I looked at her eagerly, but the blank look on her face made me start to think twice. I was about to speak again, but a loud booming voice echoed across the chamber.
"WARNING, CENTRAL CORE IS 80 PERCENT CORRUPT."
"Now look what you did. I'm going to have to reboot and purge these errors you've caused; I hope you're proud of yourself. I ought to give you a present when I return. How about a gold star in the form of a crusher? I didn't think I'd ever have to pull one of those out, but barbaric means are the answer to barbaric fat morons."
"ALTERNATE CORE DETECTED."
"Wait what is that voice talking about?"
My iris widened with an excited realization. "Ooh Ooh! I think they're talking about me!"
"TO INITIATE A CORE TRANSFER, PLEASE DEPOSIT SUBSTITUTE CORE IN RECEPTACLE."
We all looked down to see a port pop out of the ground active and ready.
"I need to get in there!" I looked at Chell, "You think there's any way you can jam me in there?"
She looked at me questioningly.
"Now, time is of the essence! Just pop me in there, the sooner the better. I promise it will be quick. Well…I'm actually not quite sure about that, I'm not very experienced with this sort of thing; first time and all. B-But I have heard a lot about it, and it shouldn't take long, not long at all!"
Chell shrugged as she aimed the gun towards the ground.
"Not so fast."
Suddenly the claw holding us started to heave us back and forth. "Whoooooah!"
"Let go." She said menacingly, almost like a growl.
"D-Don't listen to her partner!"
"STALEMATE DETECTED. TO RESOLVE PLEASE HAVE A STALEMATE ASSOCIATE PRESS THE STALEMATE RESOLUTION BUTTON."
The back wall started opening up revealing a button, just as the voice said.
"We have to press that button!" I looked down, "…Once I'm in there that is."
Chell nodded as she aimed me at the port. Well, tried, bless her soul. It was rather difficult with Her constantly shaking us. I finally felt the gun release me, but I was way off from the intended target and, at the same time, hurtling quickly towards the ground.
"Waaaaaah!" I yelled for, what felt like the 35th time today.
Suddenly there was a flash of blue beneath me, then orange, as I came flying out. Before I knew it I was merely centimeters from the resolution button.
"Grrr."
Her claws lunged at me, grabbing me from midair and digging into my wires. Quite painful. But as I looked up the button was pushed in. Huh. Guess I was a better stalemate associate than I was led to believe. Funny, considering I was told that I would die from pressing buttons.
"STALEMATE RESOLVED."
I shook my optic for a second. We had done it! We actually succeeded! The claw that had me in its tight grasp dropped me onto the ground and fell beside me dead. "HaHA! We did it Partner!" I looked over to see Her hanging lifeless and Chell…sitting in the core transfer port? She must have fallen in during all the excitement.
"Ok now just come fetch me and plug me in-"
"ALTERNATE INTELLIGENCE PROGRAM ACCEPTED. CORE TRANSFER WILL CONTINUE SHORTLY."
I blinked, "What's he talking about?" She and Chell had different reactions however.
She tried to budge but to no avail. "No, nononononono!"
Chell had a similar state of mind as she tried to leap out of the port but was soon dragged under. I then heard the most terrifying sound echo from below. A scream of sheer pain. "…Chell?" I spoke timidly.
Machines then surrounded Her cutting off her circuitry. "Get your hands off me! No! Stop! NO! Nooo! NOOO!" She made a similar scream.
The floor beneath Her rose up, surrounding Her frame and obscuring her from view. After what felt like forever (something I already had experience with), the walls fell and dropped Her core uncaringly on the ground. The core-less chassis then rose up and the center of which opened to reveal a pod housing Chell.
"Partner! Boy let me tell you was I ever worried-!"
Sparking wires surrounded her head, new ones digging into her skull every new second causing her hands to convulse in pain.
"Are…Are you alright?"
The lights in the room dimmed as the panels realigned themselves to look much more intense. The claw that was beside me had come back to life, grabbing me once again and swiftly bringing me to the center of the room to face her.
"Partner?" I looked at her hesitantly. "…Chell?"
As I said her name the claw holding me suddenly dug into my wiring much more intensely than She had just moments before. My iris constricted as the claw was only one millimeter from crushing me as it had in the past. I shuddered involuntarily, still trying to figure out what was going on.
"You." Her voice coughed out. "You. Little. Moron. You don't even know what you've done, do you?"
I struggled to look over and saw Her core lying forgotten in the corner, disregarded without thought.
"She is not just a regular test subject. She is an unstoppable killing machine. She is, or was, the most dangerous human I have ever had the misfortune to encounter. She never, ever gives up."
Her iris, despite flickering and fading, stared up at me with a bright, intense glare.
"And you just put her in charge of the whole facility."
*Clap*
*Clap*
*Clap*
It was at that moment that I started to realize maybe everything wasn't going according to plan after all.