here we go
as of today, the 19th, there are ten days until my daddy's 3 year anniversary... i think for the first time i'm doing alright. i'm not being perfect, his birthday was hard and august hasn't been all that peachy but a lot better than the past. really, i'm only speaking emotionally involving my father and my thought surrounding him. beside him david has been living here, he moved to az, jill has cheered up a lot, i'm getting a new (better paying) job, and i've become an independent according to the state haha.
i miss my daddy, as i do every moment, but i think i'm approaching a peace about losing him. maybe it was europe, where i found myself and him, or maybe it was finally separating from my horrible mother, but either way i'm alright. on his anniversary i'll post the letter i wrote, you'll see how my thoughts have changed compared to the years past. i really don't think i'll ever love anyone the way i love my dad again, but i live knowing that at least it's possible. having david around and seeing how he clings to every word about my father helps a lot. jill has always been a tremendous support when it came to this, she has no idea what her patience and love means to me. david is new to it and still tears up when i talk, i can tell in the way he stares at me when i tell stories about my dad that it hurts him he never could have been apart of it. i think people in my past that i took the time and effort to bring into my dad and my relationship don't get half of what david and jill do. they know what it means for me to share these moments with them. my dad was my world, my universe, my existence, my best friend, my everything. it's hard for most to grasp that entirely, and i hold that against no one. when i lost my daddy reality was turned upside down. fortunately, i've adjusted and i have come to accept that he died in a wonderful way, one that we might all hope to go by as well. he lived a wonderful life, he was an amazing father, an incredible coach, and most of all the greatest friend and mentor you could ever ask for. when he died he filled a high school gymnasium with friends, he flooded my room with flowers and letters, and he overwhelmed my phone with calls of support. my father will be remembered, he will be mourned, he will never be forgotten, and to me, that means the most. it was his time, it is tragic i was so young, but there are some things you cannot change. my father is a legend.
i miss my daddy, as i do every moment, but i think i'm approaching a peace about losing him. maybe it was europe, where i found myself and him, or maybe it was finally separating from my horrible mother, but either way i'm alright. on his anniversary i'll post the letter i wrote, you'll see how my thoughts have changed compared to the years past. i really don't think i'll ever love anyone the way i love my dad again, but i live knowing that at least it's possible. having david around and seeing how he clings to every word about my father helps a lot. jill has always been a tremendous support when it came to this, she has no idea what her patience and love means to me. david is new to it and still tears up when i talk, i can tell in the way he stares at me when i tell stories about my dad that it hurts him he never could have been apart of it. i think people in my past that i took the time and effort to bring into my dad and my relationship don't get half of what david and jill do. they know what it means for me to share these moments with them. my dad was my world, my universe, my existence, my best friend, my everything. it's hard for most to grasp that entirely, and i hold that against no one. when i lost my daddy reality was turned upside down. fortunately, i've adjusted and i have come to accept that he died in a wonderful way, one that we might all hope to go by as well. he lived a wonderful life, he was an amazing father, an incredible coach, and most of all the greatest friend and mentor you could ever ask for. when he died he filled a high school gymnasium with friends, he flooded my room with flowers and letters, and he overwhelmed my phone with calls of support. my father will be remembered, he will be mourned, he will never be forgotten, and to me, that means the most. it was his time, it is tragic i was so young, but there are some things you cannot change. my father is a legend.