Turkey 4
Lot's of disgusting medical stuff below, please don't read if you're easily impressed.
Two days ago or so I decided to Google for fecal transplantation in Turkey and found a lot, including specialized clinics here in Antalya doing that.
Yesterday I had a chat with one of them and I learned that the first appointment with the doctor would cost me a little over $100. Darn, that's expensive.
The same day I managed to guess the password for this hotel Wi-Fi captive portal authorization system and got my free Wi-Fi for I don't know how long, perhaps a week. Instead of going to bed at 10pm or so, I kept browsing the net and watching people play CS2 in Twitch. Welcome back to your horrible lifestyle, shithead! I went to sleep only around midnight local time.
My brain took this night activity as an opportunity to take revenge for me being frivolous with my sleep schedule. I had multiple panic attacks during sleep. There's a mirror right across the room and I kept imagining something frightening was hiding in it or sticking out of it.
It's already 10:04pm and I need to go to sleep ASAP, except now I've got a new source of despair: I've just realized my kidneys have been aching since the beginning of the year. Or are they? The condition has gotten worse here in Turkey for unknown reasons.
I've already agreed to an appointment with the doctor about my intestines/stool and it looks like I have either to call the insurance company and sort out the issue with my kidneys first (I'm scared to imagine how difficult it's all gonna be) or I have to go back to Russia to try to fix it there first and then go back to Turkey. I don't know what to do.
Today the kidneys have been hurting a lot. I can't find the pose to make the pain less acute. Only after I've peed it got a little bit better. Strangely my urine hasn't changed at all, at least visibly. No idea what's going on.
I woke up and couldn't make myself leave the room until 3:55pm. I then went to the beach to swim, I swam even further into the sea than I'd ever done before, then returned to my room, took a shower, and went to eat the Big Mac (not big and the amount of beef inside is just laughable). Oh my way back I bought something to eat: canned cucumbers (cornichons), canned green peas, a liter of yogurt, two packetss of instant coffee, three very small local bananas and four little green peppers. In the hotel, I ate half of the cucumbers with bread and one banana.
***
I hate airports. All the people there look so fucking successful and expensive (I'm talking about their clothing).
***
I'm not a cheapskate whatever Maria thinks. I just don't throw money at the wind buying stuff which isn't worth it.
I gotta sleep. Mother forgive me.
***
That's the message I sent to Maria in Telegram and deleted it ten minutes later seeing that she hadn't read it yet. That's when the pain in my back got unbearable:
I love you Maria. I gave you everything I had. I wasn't always right. I made huge mistakes. Still I always loved you more than anything in this world. I hold no grudge against you. I miss you like crazy. I'm scared. I don't feel OK. I don't know whether I'll make it through.
Please talk to me. You don't owe me anything and if you hate me, don't bother. I want to believe you're finally happy. I wish you all the best.
Two days ago or so I decided to Google for fecal transplantation in Turkey and found a lot, including specialized clinics here in Antalya doing that.
Yesterday I had a chat with one of them and I learned that the first appointment with the doctor would cost me a little over $100. Darn, that's expensive.
The same day I managed to guess the password for this hotel Wi-Fi captive portal authorization system and got my free Wi-Fi for I don't know how long, perhaps a week. Instead of going to bed at 10pm or so, I kept browsing the net and watching people play CS2 in Twitch. Welcome back to your horrible lifestyle, shithead! I went to sleep only around midnight local time.
My brain took this night activity as an opportunity to take revenge for me being frivolous with my sleep schedule. I had multiple panic attacks during sleep. There's a mirror right across the room and I kept imagining something frightening was hiding in it or sticking out of it.
It's already 10:04pm and I need to go to sleep ASAP, except now I've got a new source of despair: I've just realized my kidneys have been aching since the beginning of the year. Or are they? The condition has gotten worse here in Turkey for unknown reasons.
I've already agreed to an appointment with the doctor about my intestines/stool and it looks like I have either to call the insurance company and sort out the issue with my kidneys first (I'm scared to imagine how difficult it's all gonna be) or I have to go back to Russia to try to fix it there first and then go back to Turkey. I don't know what to do.
Today the kidneys have been hurting a lot. I can't find the pose to make the pain less acute. Only after I've peed it got a little bit better. Strangely my urine hasn't changed at all, at least visibly. No idea what's going on.
I woke up and couldn't make myself leave the room until 3:55pm. I then went to the beach to swim, I swam even further into the sea than I'd ever done before, then returned to my room, took a shower, and went to eat the Big Mac (not big and the amount of beef inside is just laughable). Oh my way back I bought something to eat: canned cucumbers (cornichons), canned green peas, a liter of yogurt, two packetss of instant coffee, three very small local bananas and four little green peppers. In the hotel, I ate half of the cucumbers with bread and one banana.
***
I hate airports. All the people there look so fucking successful and expensive (I'm talking about their clothing).
***
I'm not a cheapskate whatever Maria thinks. I just don't throw money at the wind buying stuff which isn't worth it.
I gotta sleep. Mother forgive me.
***
That's the message I sent to Maria in Telegram and deleted it ten minutes later seeing that she hadn't read it yet. That's when the pain in my back got unbearable:
I love you Maria. I gave you everything I had. I wasn't always right. I made huge mistakes. Still I always loved you more than anything in this world. I hold no grudge against you. I miss you like crazy. I'm scared. I don't feel OK. I don't know whether I'll make it through.
Please talk to me. You don't owe me anything and if you hate me, don't bother. I want to believe you're finally happy. I wish you all the best.