Memories Are Things That Do Not Fade Away
Hello Everyone, My Friends, My Peers, & My Fellow Persons in Recovery.
For those who do not know me, I have been a member since March or April of last year, at least as far as my paperwork points to and I have a bit of information to pass on to those who may be thinking about that next suicide attempt.
December 24, 2006 I, under high duress, decided to try to end my life by taking a months supply of Serequel followed by a Vodka chaser. It tasted like crap but I was done with it all... or so I thought. After having my door broken down by a friend and and transported to the hospital, I flat lined twice and I ended up in ICU for 3 days.
When I awoke, I was told that I had memory loss but I was not ready for what was right around the corner for me once I started recovery. My short term memory is shot and as far as long term memory, the magic number seems to be 10-15 years ago that I can readily remember. Anything else is just a blur.
So here I am, trying to keep it together and keep up with things... Now I am forced to write things down so I wont forget. HUH forget something we all take for granted. My wife keeps up with me and is really my rock. She is a Nurse and she is constantly helping me keep up with things.
What is weird, is that the symptoms that I am getting are just as if I was still taking the Serequel that I was, almost 2 years ago. That is almost unheard of since I haven't touched the stuff ever since then.
The Dr at that time in ICU told me that I would have the brain damage along with the heart damage that I have now. Hell for that matter it took me almost 3 months to remember how to use the programs that I needed just for working on my photos.
So those of you thinking of anything of the sort, suicide may sound like the solution, but please think of your family that would have to plant you in the "WORM FARM". I use to hate life because I was alone or thought I was alone because I isolated myself. Now that I am alive I will now carry on this "Badge Of Shame" for the rest of my life.
Am I loosing My Mind??? Unfortunely I am ever slowly... Please NeveEVER take life for granted. You may feel that it is not worth living for, but sometimes you recieve exactly what you were wanting... To not be there ever again. I am one of those persons. I cannot remember where I have been on a daily basis.
SIKOLTO
For those who do not know me, I have been a member since March or April of last year, at least as far as my paperwork points to and I have a bit of information to pass on to those who may be thinking about that next suicide attempt.
December 24, 2006 I, under high duress, decided to try to end my life by taking a months supply of Serequel followed by a Vodka chaser. It tasted like crap but I was done with it all... or so I thought. After having my door broken down by a friend and and transported to the hospital, I flat lined twice and I ended up in ICU for 3 days.
When I awoke, I was told that I had memory loss but I was not ready for what was right around the corner for me once I started recovery. My short term memory is shot and as far as long term memory, the magic number seems to be 10-15 years ago that I can readily remember. Anything else is just a blur.
So here I am, trying to keep it together and keep up with things... Now I am forced to write things down so I wont forget. HUH forget something we all take for granted. My wife keeps up with me and is really my rock. She is a Nurse and she is constantly helping me keep up with things.
What is weird, is that the symptoms that I am getting are just as if I was still taking the Serequel that I was, almost 2 years ago. That is almost unheard of since I haven't touched the stuff ever since then.
The Dr at that time in ICU told me that I would have the brain damage along with the heart damage that I have now. Hell for that matter it took me almost 3 months to remember how to use the programs that I needed just for working on my photos.
So those of you thinking of anything of the sort, suicide may sound like the solution, but please think of your family that would have to plant you in the "WORM FARM". I use to hate life because I was alone or thought I was alone because I isolated myself. Now that I am alive I will now carry on this "Badge Of Shame" for the rest of my life.
Am I loosing My Mind??? Unfortunely I am ever slowly... Please NeveEVER take life for granted. You may feel that it is not worth living for, but sometimes you recieve exactly what you were wanting... To not be there ever again. I am one of those persons. I cannot remember where I have been on a daily basis.
SIKOLTO