i think im going to die
okay so im freaking iut
ive got papers due out the butthole
no idea on how to do them
im not getting any "good" grades this quarter
and if i dont get those "good" grades im not gonna be able to continue my education at OU
if there could be anything worse than failing out of school
it would be doing mediocre and then not being able to go to that school becuase of lost scholarships and all that shit
i wanna start submitting poems and short stories to things
maybe ill get moneys and more scholarships
then i wont have to worry about getting the best grade possible on a bullshit research assignment thats due monday
monday? you say?
why thats a ways off isnt it?
but take this is in to consideration
thursday is party day
i always go out and have a great time
and i want to
then ontop of that theres lauren wanting me to go to her house this weekend
that would mean no work from friday till about sunday at like twelve fucking o clock
so basically i have to write ten pages of research tonight
redraft and re tool another paper on melville
and then maintain all the ridiculous reading i have to do...
for tomorrow
o fuck o fuck o fuck
i have to read that fuckin civil rights text book tonight
im gonna have a test tomorrow that im gonna fail, becuase im working on a research paper im gonna fail, while another paper lingers and fails behind that, all so my girlfriend wont cry and hate me
but then again
its not like if i work on this research paper all weekend ill get a good grade on it
i suck at research papers
i think
and my other paper is good, i think... better than my last so its prolly a B+
god
im worrying for nothing but i cant stop
but what im really worried about is the girlfriend thing
the fact that im hurting myself... HURTING myself
driving myself crazy and overworking myself everynight
just so i can spend time with this girl
why do i do this?
why do i expend all my energies on other people so i dont hurt their feelings
im not saying i wanna not give a shit
im just saying that theres a limit to the amount of abuse one person can heap upon themselves for another
my last relationship was only that
me giving and giving and giving
and my the end of it i was a wasted shell of human suffering
and im not blaming them.
its my choice
i do this all to myself
granted they can take advantage of this...
this post has no point but its going through my head and i need to get it off my shoulders
besides....
no body fucking reads this pissant blog
9 o clock
i got atleast 3 solid hours to work on shit before i end up crashing
ill make a deal with myself
i work my ass off just a lil more
and if i can finish half this paper
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUFKCUFKFUFKFUCKFKFUFKCUFKFUKCUFKFUCKFUFKCUFUCKFUCKFUFKCUFKKFUCKFUFK
ive got papers due out the butthole
no idea on how to do them
im not getting any "good" grades this quarter
and if i dont get those "good" grades im not gonna be able to continue my education at OU
if there could be anything worse than failing out of school
it would be doing mediocre and then not being able to go to that school becuase of lost scholarships and all that shit
i wanna start submitting poems and short stories to things
maybe ill get moneys and more scholarships
then i wont have to worry about getting the best grade possible on a bullshit research assignment thats due monday
monday? you say?
why thats a ways off isnt it?
but take this is in to consideration
thursday is party day
i always go out and have a great time
and i want to
then ontop of that theres lauren wanting me to go to her house this weekend
that would mean no work from friday till about sunday at like twelve fucking o clock
so basically i have to write ten pages of research tonight
redraft and re tool another paper on melville
and then maintain all the ridiculous reading i have to do...
for tomorrow
o fuck o fuck o fuck
i have to read that fuckin civil rights text book tonight
im gonna have a test tomorrow that im gonna fail, becuase im working on a research paper im gonna fail, while another paper lingers and fails behind that, all so my girlfriend wont cry and hate me
but then again
its not like if i work on this research paper all weekend ill get a good grade on it
i suck at research papers
i think
and my other paper is good, i think... better than my last so its prolly a B+
god
im worrying for nothing but i cant stop
but what im really worried about is the girlfriend thing
the fact that im hurting myself... HURTING myself
driving myself crazy and overworking myself everynight
just so i can spend time with this girl
why do i do this?
why do i expend all my energies on other people so i dont hurt their feelings
im not saying i wanna not give a shit
im just saying that theres a limit to the amount of abuse one person can heap upon themselves for another
my last relationship was only that
me giving and giving and giving
and my the end of it i was a wasted shell of human suffering
and im not blaming them.
its my choice
i do this all to myself
granted they can take advantage of this...
this post has no point but its going through my head and i need to get it off my shoulders
besides....
no body fucking reads this pissant blog
9 o clock
i got atleast 3 solid hours to work on shit before i end up crashing
ill make a deal with myself
i work my ass off just a lil more
and if i can finish half this paper
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUFKCUFKFUFKFUCKFKFUFKCUFKFUKCUFKFUCKFUFKCUFUCKFUCKFUFKCUFKKFUCKFUFK