(no subject)
Well people im not exactly sure what to say. Im kinda n one of those moods where idont exactly know what to think. I have been thinking about college alot lately and im not exactly sure about waht will happen. I was accepted today and basically im thinking wow htis is it im actually going to college. I actually have to grow up and be on me own. Honestly it scares the shit out of me. I know my parents will be there fr me if i need them and hey would be more than happy to help but damn. Alot of thses feelings are comming from haig to go far away from everyhting i know i dont kno anything about Cedar Rapids. In some ways i cant wait to get out of LeMars so I dont have to put up with all the shit that comes with this town but in otherways i dont wanna leave at all it is gunnabe harder than i have ever imagined to leave Chris. I have no clue what will happen all I know is I love him so much!! It will deff be hard for me to get over the fact that i have to leave. I always thought i would be so easy for m because me and my parentsnever really got along but i thought wrong it will be alot harder that i thought. I never realized until now that you need your parents for more than you think you do and i never really appreciated uch of what they did for me before now. I feel almost ashamed that i took them foe granted because hey didnt have to give me the things they do but they wanted to to ive me and my brother a good life it is something that i guess you just learn as you get older. In the past i feel i have basically rebeled against them and i feel soo bad because i feel like i ahve made them feel like shit and that dont care but i do. I never realized the choices you make when you are younger are a facto of when you grow up it is baically setting your persona when you are younger then you build on that and become what hopefully will be good person and now i realize that my parents were so strict it iwas because they jus care. but that is all for now