...the future's here. we are it. we are on our own...

[bingster]

My first instinct.
is to think like I’m
on the brink
of extinction

between the past
and the present-
there is no distinction
and
I reckon
that there could be
a recollection of misinterpreted/memories
maybe, perhaps even a few stories, also worth re-telling

but-
if you
ain’t buyin
then-
I
ain’t sellin’.

So
Instead...
I think and I c-r-e-e-p along
in organic exposures
which are organically exposed
in an attempt to recall every love letter and run-on sentence
I’ve ever composed

and who knows?
I suppose
I am worth
growing old
I could say what’s really on my mind
and
I could think of what it is you wanna hear
but that’d mean
no reason
no rhyme
not to mention
it’d take a lot of time
spelling out my name
and
my principle
phonetically

this was never meant to be easy
so
you’d better
not be
right next
to me
cuz I’ll be shoutin’ out obscenities
in this spelling bee

dressed as myself,
as an ill-fitted outcast
challenging the misconceptions of my ancestry
attempting to overcome
the pervasiveness of mediocrity
to stimulate myself not necessarily clitorally
but also metabolically
to face
my former orthodoxy
cuz I can’t replace mistakes but I can raise the stakes
I can look inwardly
to the goddess I know I can fucking be
and drastically
begin to change my life
intentionally

10.27.04.