Baby
I went to an anniversary party tonight for the couple I was the best man for a year ago.
I talked to the mother of one of them, who is a spitfire. She told me all about how they had expected their son to have children and had to come to terms that he would never. And how the mother felt it was selfish of her to expect that of her child.
I don't think that is selfish. For a parent to expect their child to have a child of their own. It seems natural.
And she sat there blaming herself for her feelings of expecting such. But, I don't think her feelings were wrong. Isn't that what every parent wants.
And I felt in that moment, once again, that I had failed my parents. And in a way also, that my life was unfulfilled. I have lived a life of selfish hedonism and now I am closing in on 40 having done nothing with my life but be a drunk.
I should have died tonight as drunk as I was driving home. I could barely hold onto the wheel of my truck.
This is the life I live. Miserable. Unfulfilled. Drunk.
I talked to the mother of one of them, who is a spitfire. She told me all about how they had expected their son to have children and had to come to terms that he would never. And how the mother felt it was selfish of her to expect that of her child.
I don't think that is selfish. For a parent to expect their child to have a child of their own. It seems natural.
And she sat there blaming herself for her feelings of expecting such. But, I don't think her feelings were wrong. Isn't that what every parent wants.
And I felt in that moment, once again, that I had failed my parents. And in a way also, that my life was unfulfilled. I have lived a life of selfish hedonism and now I am closing in on 40 having done nothing with my life but be a drunk.
I should have died tonight as drunk as I was driving home. I could barely hold onto the wheel of my truck.
This is the life I live. Miserable. Unfulfilled. Drunk.