Two steps forward. Two steps back.
Helo and I seemed to have settled into a routine already. We get together on Friday nights. I find the routine slightly uncomfortable, though I am not saying I don't act like a little puppy when he's around. I just continue to see and feel how, in my mind, we really have little in common.
A point of note is when he called me up randomly on Tuesday night. I am not used to getting phone calls unless there's some emergency... real emergency or gay emergency. But, he likes to call me a few times a week and honestly I am okay with it. This particular conversation was comical to me though in its revelations.
He is a somewhat private person. I've known this from the beginning. We had been joking about Facebook one of the first times we hung out and he commented how his is "locked down". And the one or two times I referenced comical stuff from online or my blog he seemed a bit disinterested/squeamish. I realize the dramas of the Internet are not for everyone... not a big deal.
Well, on the phone he goes off on a tangent about how he had to have a "serious talk" with one of his friends about posting pictures of him without his permission. Just the tone of his voice revealed there was no joking around on this subject with him. He further went ahead to say that he does not "spend hours a day following ridiculous status updates". That he only really utilized the site back in November when he was trying to organize money for one of his charity functions.
I just kept my mouth shut and let him talk, even as his tone implicated me as some kind of social deviant and loser because like so many I have tasted of the fruits of the Internet and enjoyed them sinfully. I'm sure if he knew I referenced him on the Internet even under a fake name he would probably immediately stop talking to me. That's how serious he seems on the subject.
Just a week prior he had made a comment also about how he doesn't discuss his sex life with his friends. That it's no one's business. Now I could be accused of being the exact opposite of that. That I make the details of my life, regardless of who is involved, into everyone's business. I don't think I'm right doing that but it's not the end of the world if someone does.
Usually when I am with someone who I consider to be extremely attractive I sit there and beat myself down and say I am not good enough or attractive enough. All the usual self-esteem bullshit. But with him, I don't really do that. Instead I am sitting there comparing our opinions and realizing if I revealed my real self to him... or should I say, give him more details than what he knows already... he may well instantly just stop speaking to me.
I am not saying I am at fault or he is at fault. I am just saying we seem like such polar opposite people. I dare not even bad mouth Obama or Al Gore in his presence. I even tried eating chili just so I didn't seem like such a picky food prude around him.
A point of note is when he called me up randomly on Tuesday night. I am not used to getting phone calls unless there's some emergency... real emergency or gay emergency. But, he likes to call me a few times a week and honestly I am okay with it. This particular conversation was comical to me though in its revelations.
He is a somewhat private person. I've known this from the beginning. We had been joking about Facebook one of the first times we hung out and he commented how his is "locked down". And the one or two times I referenced comical stuff from online or my blog he seemed a bit disinterested/squeamish. I realize the dramas of the Internet are not for everyone... not a big deal.
Well, on the phone he goes off on a tangent about how he had to have a "serious talk" with one of his friends about posting pictures of him without his permission. Just the tone of his voice revealed there was no joking around on this subject with him. He further went ahead to say that he does not "spend hours a day following ridiculous status updates". That he only really utilized the site back in November when he was trying to organize money for one of his charity functions.
I just kept my mouth shut and let him talk, even as his tone implicated me as some kind of social deviant and loser because like so many I have tasted of the fruits of the Internet and enjoyed them sinfully. I'm sure if he knew I referenced him on the Internet even under a fake name he would probably immediately stop talking to me. That's how serious he seems on the subject.
Just a week prior he had made a comment also about how he doesn't discuss his sex life with his friends. That it's no one's business. Now I could be accused of being the exact opposite of that. That I make the details of my life, regardless of who is involved, into everyone's business. I don't think I'm right doing that but it's not the end of the world if someone does.
Usually when I am with someone who I consider to be extremely attractive I sit there and beat myself down and say I am not good enough or attractive enough. All the usual self-esteem bullshit. But with him, I don't really do that. Instead I am sitting there comparing our opinions and realizing if I revealed my real self to him... or should I say, give him more details than what he knows already... he may well instantly just stop speaking to me.
I am not saying I am at fault or he is at fault. I am just saying we seem like such polar opposite people. I dare not even bad mouth Obama or Al Gore in his presence. I even tried eating chili just so I didn't seem like such a picky food prude around him.