Life isn't fair

[billy_luvs_me]

Life in general isn't fair when the one you love isn't going to make it. And you pray and hope that he gets better every day. That the doctor's would find some kind of miracle to keep him living a long life. But when it's short lived, you know there's no chance of that miracle anymore. And you break down crying, knowing you're losing the best person in your life forever. That they won't be there for when you graduate, get married, or have children. To experience a whole new life with their child.

I'm sitting here crying because my dad isn't going to make it. And he doesn't have very long. The procedure didn't work at all. And it hurts to lose him. He had a fighting chance, but was shot down everytime and now it's just too hard for him to hold on. I know he'll be going to a better place, but it's too soon in my life to lose him. It's too soon for all of us. And it hurts so bad... so so so bad. This was something that could have been prevented long ago, but everytime the hospital has made it worse for him.

I just don't know how I'm going to function without him. The family is taking it pretty hard, and I just wish I was there with my mom at that very moment when they got the news. Family will be driving in. It's just going to change everything. And I don't feel like going to college anymore, just because I don't have him. But I'd do because he wants me there. I'll do it because he wants me to make a better choice in life. Though without him it's harder. I won't be able to be called 'daddy's little girl' anymore. I just... I just don't want him to go. It's not fair...

So I may not be on for awhile, I don't know. I'll talk to you all when I feel better...