Observations and honesty
You know, I spent a lot of my time today out with my friend Megan. We went out for dinner at Mongolian Barbeque, fantastic place, then to the Outlet Mall. We talk about topics, mainly about future trips, plans, and all that stuff. And then I spend a few hours with Kat and Jen. Jen at first, then Kat joined later on. My sister was there. Jen fell while hopping on rocks, of course she scared me to death. So we get her patched up at Kat's house and then played pool back at the Union. I won :) It was also Church week for Asians. It was weird because there were 3500 of them there. Went to see what floor my dorm is, 4th floor, and then just walked around more on campus. Took my friends home, including my sister, and hung out with Megan again. Also with Sarah, Jay, and Aaron. It was nice, then went back to Megan's apartment, watched a few shows, and came home. And eventful day it has been, but as I sit here now, I think over the many things in life.
The friends. The qualities in them. The times. The memory. Everything. And I've come to a conclusion about what I think of some, and what I think of others. And there's this line that divides your friends. Ones who truly are there for you, and ones who mask themselves infront of you, only to backstab you later in life. I'm not going to direct names because it can hurt others. I prefer to keep them disclosed. I won't risk having to be bitched at on the internet because of it, or over the phone. So what are my observations? Well honesty does hurt, and it's hard, but people must face reality. So how do I begin this...
I've noticed that there is only a certain age group I can get along with so well. And it may be because of the experience we're able to share, the age, the maturity, and how loyal they can be to you now. Maturity is a whole different level that I of course am accustom to now. I hang out with a group of my age. Those I am comfortable with. Seriously, I can't be mad at my friends. They don't cause as much conflict as others do. Truly I know they are good friends, and the best for life. But what about the others? Well, it's immaturity that really bites the dust. Also that I can't really relate to them anymore. I'm much older and I don't need to deal with other people's drama. I also don't need to deal with attention needy people. And I don't want to deal with people who obviously don't treat you like a good friend, ignore you, say things behind your back, and pretend like everything is all good between us. I don't need you, and I feel that it's best I don't talk to you anymore. I'm not going to work things out. Seriously I'm fed up. I've come to a part of my life where I'm grown up. More than you'll ever be. Even if you think you're mature for your age, and you're not. You're young. Some of you are younger than me.
I'm tired. I don't need anyone's crap. I've got a life. I've got a sick father to take care of. A mother who's stressed and working at the same time. A sister who's stayed at the hospital with my dad for weeks. And myself who's got to keep everyone in check, and sane enough to go through everyday. I seriously don't need to be told to grow up because in all actuality, I am grown up. Probably too early in life too. I'm not going to be able to enjoy the party life as much. That whole new chapter in college. I DID EVERYTHING ON MY OWN TO GET MYSELF INTO COLLEGE. ALL PAPERS, ALL VISITS, AND ALL LOANS. I had no one to help me because I'm independent enough to make my own decisions as well as do things myself. I'm going to be more dedicated to my school. I start on the 23rd. I'll be working my butt off to start paying off the loan that I borrowed to help me for this whole year. I'll be living with a roommate and will spend on end hours of studying. 16 hours a week doesn't sound like a lot of class time, but it actually is. It's different compared to High School. I can't lack this time.
I'm fed up with being a teenager, and I have embraced adulthood so quickly, that I can't wait until I actually turn 20 to be out of such a horrible stage. So, I'm done with my old life. I'm not going to tolerate little whiners who are so over-dramatic about things and think they are little know-it-alls. That they are overall mature, more than myself. Because if you compare yourself to me, you've not seen the hardships I've gone through in life, especially the last two years. So, to those who I do dedicate this post to, the idiotic immature people, I'm through with you. Don't bug me, don't talk to me, don't say sorry. I don't want to live in the past, and I don't want to put up with your attitude and excuses. I may lose friends, but I'm able to gain new ones.
The friends. The qualities in them. The times. The memory. Everything. And I've come to a conclusion about what I think of some, and what I think of others. And there's this line that divides your friends. Ones who truly are there for you, and ones who mask themselves infront of you, only to backstab you later in life. I'm not going to direct names because it can hurt others. I prefer to keep them disclosed. I won't risk having to be bitched at on the internet because of it, or over the phone. So what are my observations? Well honesty does hurt, and it's hard, but people must face reality. So how do I begin this...
I've noticed that there is only a certain age group I can get along with so well. And it may be because of the experience we're able to share, the age, the maturity, and how loyal they can be to you now. Maturity is a whole different level that I of course am accustom to now. I hang out with a group of my age. Those I am comfortable with. Seriously, I can't be mad at my friends. They don't cause as much conflict as others do. Truly I know they are good friends, and the best for life. But what about the others? Well, it's immaturity that really bites the dust. Also that I can't really relate to them anymore. I'm much older and I don't need to deal with other people's drama. I also don't need to deal with attention needy people. And I don't want to deal with people who obviously don't treat you like a good friend, ignore you, say things behind your back, and pretend like everything is all good between us. I don't need you, and I feel that it's best I don't talk to you anymore. I'm not going to work things out. Seriously I'm fed up. I've come to a part of my life where I'm grown up. More than you'll ever be. Even if you think you're mature for your age, and you're not. You're young. Some of you are younger than me.
I'm tired. I don't need anyone's crap. I've got a life. I've got a sick father to take care of. A mother who's stressed and working at the same time. A sister who's stayed at the hospital with my dad for weeks. And myself who's got to keep everyone in check, and sane enough to go through everyday. I seriously don't need to be told to grow up because in all actuality, I am grown up. Probably too early in life too. I'm not going to be able to enjoy the party life as much. That whole new chapter in college. I DID EVERYTHING ON MY OWN TO GET MYSELF INTO COLLEGE. ALL PAPERS, ALL VISITS, AND ALL LOANS. I had no one to help me because I'm independent enough to make my own decisions as well as do things myself. I'm going to be more dedicated to my school. I start on the 23rd. I'll be working my butt off to start paying off the loan that I borrowed to help me for this whole year. I'll be living with a roommate and will spend on end hours of studying. 16 hours a week doesn't sound like a lot of class time, but it actually is. It's different compared to High School. I can't lack this time.
I'm fed up with being a teenager, and I have embraced adulthood so quickly, that I can't wait until I actually turn 20 to be out of such a horrible stage. So, I'm done with my old life. I'm not going to tolerate little whiners who are so over-dramatic about things and think they are little know-it-alls. That they are overall mature, more than myself. Because if you compare yourself to me, you've not seen the hardships I've gone through in life, especially the last two years. So, to those who I do dedicate this post to, the idiotic immature people, I'm through with you. Don't bug me, don't talk to me, don't say sorry. I don't want to live in the past, and I don't want to put up with your attitude and excuses. I may lose friends, but I'm able to gain new ones.