wait...?
I'm updating twice in a month...lol. Well, I figured I should actually write my thoughts out here instead of on a scrap piece of paper during class. I'm trying to write a prospectus for my term paper in Ren. Lit., but I think I lost motivation for it. So instead I'm writing in lj waiting to go to the dorm next door and work on a project. While I pass the time...
Do you ever feel like the people you're friends with are faking it? I guess I've felt a little like that lately. I would like to be friends with people who want me around, and it seems like a few of them don't want me around anymore. I don't know where it came from, and i've been tearing apart my brain trying to figure out what happened. I guess it's a part of life though, you make friends, and lose them too. I've learned that well the past couple of years. first I lose my best friend in the world over a stupid cigarette and the breaking of trust...now I lose another really good friend...for no reason that i can see. Maybe we're just too different after all.
I'm tired of trying to please people, trying to fit in so they don't throw me away. I'll be who I am, thank you very much, and I don't care if you don't approve of my piercings or tattoos, of the way I think or what I believe in. It's my body, my life to give away, and I chose who to give it to a long time ago. I'm relearning the idea of giving things away to God, especially because it's gotten so far out of hand. I've done some things the past year that I never thought I'd do...things that definitely aren't me. So I'm learning slowly how to give them up...it's been a long process indeed. Long, but nessecary for my health, and for the sanity of people around me. I hate it when people worry about me, so i'm trying my hardest to get rid of the reasons for them to worry.
I never realized how hard it was to be positive until now. Seriously...aren't we always looking for the negative part of every situation so we can focus on it? The news is the same way...I hear more about murders, car wrecks, rapes, scandal than anything else. Just for once I want to go to KOMO's site and see nothing but positive stories. I guess we have a thing for the negative aspects of life.
welll.....enough writing here for a day, I really really need to work on homework :P
Do you ever feel like the people you're friends with are faking it? I guess I've felt a little like that lately. I would like to be friends with people who want me around, and it seems like a few of them don't want me around anymore. I don't know where it came from, and i've been tearing apart my brain trying to figure out what happened. I guess it's a part of life though, you make friends, and lose them too. I've learned that well the past couple of years. first I lose my best friend in the world over a stupid cigarette and the breaking of trust...now I lose another really good friend...for no reason that i can see. Maybe we're just too different after all.
I'm tired of trying to please people, trying to fit in so they don't throw me away. I'll be who I am, thank you very much, and I don't care if you don't approve of my piercings or tattoos, of the way I think or what I believe in. It's my body, my life to give away, and I chose who to give it to a long time ago. I'm relearning the idea of giving things away to God, especially because it's gotten so far out of hand. I've done some things the past year that I never thought I'd do...things that definitely aren't me. So I'm learning slowly how to give them up...it's been a long process indeed. Long, but nessecary for my health, and for the sanity of people around me. I hate it when people worry about me, so i'm trying my hardest to get rid of the reasons for them to worry.
I never realized how hard it was to be positive until now. Seriously...aren't we always looking for the negative part of every situation so we can focus on it? The news is the same way...I hear more about murders, car wrecks, rapes, scandal than anything else. Just for once I want to go to KOMO's site and see nothing but positive stories. I guess we have a thing for the negative aspects of life.
welll.....enough writing here for a day, I really really need to work on homework :P