(no subject)
Danielle lamented that I had not been writing in my journal lately, and I must say I'd not had the inclination to write on any particular subject. But completely disassociated from her comment, inspiration came to me, on the subject of inspiration itself.
I'll go ahead and say right off the bat that I've not lead a very adventurous life, in my opinion. It's true that a lot of people never dare set foot outside of broad social acceptance, and I have sampled a few of some low-grade experiences from the palette of worldly things. But I remain, in heart, outside the circles that I've watched from a distance and from right up close to the edge, separate from the normal and the mainstream. For many people, these outside worlds are as natural as bathing, and to others, they are curiosities they dive deeply into and then climb out of as their tastes change. But for me, even some of the groupings within mainstream territories are not places I can insert myself into readily. I remain outside, both because of my personal 'aura' that others consider me by, and from my own choices. It has sometimes lead me to grief and pain and loneliness, and at others, an utterly fascinating sense objectivity.
I used to lament not being part of a particular clique. I always had the capacity to be a member of many groups, but more often than not, I elected to back away because I just didn't consider myself a member. I love RPGs, for instance, and I have since I was a child, but I do not find myself obsessed with them, nor do I make it an ongoing hobby of mine. I’ll geek out about them, I know some obscure references, and have more knowledge of the Monster Manual than I do of common male fashion trends or politics. But I do not dig so deeply into the minutiae of pencil-and-funny-dice games enough that I can’t dig my way back out again. So I do not travel in tabletop gaming circles. The same could be said of my experience with computer programming, alternative lifestyles, art, printing industries (yeah, that degree I got, what of it?), and counterculture stuff in general. There are lots of other topics I’ve accumulated small volumes of knowledge about. Friends and family tell me I am good at lots of things, or have clever insight on some subjects. It’s natural of human experience for anyone who’s not a drudging poop-machine to have a broad range of low-range knowledge at hand. Layman knowledge of many subjects or understanding that comes with only a little research. I dabble. But to date, I have not found a depth of subject that I truly felt the urge to reach the depths of.
But just lately, with a little support from my wife, I am going to test out a new direction I hadn’t really put a lot of thought to in the past.
I am writing a novel.
It kind of makes sense, actually, apart from the number of people I know who have said I need to write more. I am always seeking to create something new and unusual, to look at the mundane from a different perspective and make it something not-mundane. My years of programming online, my character ideas and adventure planning on D&D, even my ventures into different lifestyles are efforts to create a sense of something new and different, a need to change the environment of experience and set it apart from everyday-ness. Printing is all about taking ideas and making them into hard copy, though with the intent of profit, of course, but the transference of thought to physical medium is still a process of creation. I love video games, but I love altering them, creating new things for them just as much. Always it comes down to my need to make something and share it with others to experience. I always am made sad by creating something and not getting to show it to someone, preferably lots of people.
Well, now I am taking a cue from everyone who told me so, and I’m going to try and write a book. Genre fiction, fantasy themed. I’d like to keep the rest of details quiet for now until I develop it more, but I suppose those familiar with me will see some familiar threads of topic in the tapestry I plan to weave. Danielle has read my short drafts and says that the way I write fiction is in fact very in tune with her favorite (and very popular) authors. And she has read more books than I have by powers of 10. So many of her favorite series and books are by best-selling writers that I think if I can complete such a project, I could make a few dollars doing what I love best. Making a new experience to share.
I'll go ahead and say right off the bat that I've not lead a very adventurous life, in my opinion. It's true that a lot of people never dare set foot outside of broad social acceptance, and I have sampled a few of some low-grade experiences from the palette of worldly things. But I remain, in heart, outside the circles that I've watched from a distance and from right up close to the edge, separate from the normal and the mainstream. For many people, these outside worlds are as natural as bathing, and to others, they are curiosities they dive deeply into and then climb out of as their tastes change. But for me, even some of the groupings within mainstream territories are not places I can insert myself into readily. I remain outside, both because of my personal 'aura' that others consider me by, and from my own choices. It has sometimes lead me to grief and pain and loneliness, and at others, an utterly fascinating sense objectivity.
I used to lament not being part of a particular clique. I always had the capacity to be a member of many groups, but more often than not, I elected to back away because I just didn't consider myself a member. I love RPGs, for instance, and I have since I was a child, but I do not find myself obsessed with them, nor do I make it an ongoing hobby of mine. I’ll geek out about them, I know some obscure references, and have more knowledge of the Monster Manual than I do of common male fashion trends or politics. But I do not dig so deeply into the minutiae of pencil-and-funny-dice games enough that I can’t dig my way back out again. So I do not travel in tabletop gaming circles. The same could be said of my experience with computer programming, alternative lifestyles, art, printing industries (yeah, that degree I got, what of it?), and counterculture stuff in general. There are lots of other topics I’ve accumulated small volumes of knowledge about. Friends and family tell me I am good at lots of things, or have clever insight on some subjects. It’s natural of human experience for anyone who’s not a drudging poop-machine to have a broad range of low-range knowledge at hand. Layman knowledge of many subjects or understanding that comes with only a little research. I dabble. But to date, I have not found a depth of subject that I truly felt the urge to reach the depths of.
But just lately, with a little support from my wife, I am going to test out a new direction I hadn’t really put a lot of thought to in the past.
I am writing a novel.
It kind of makes sense, actually, apart from the number of people I know who have said I need to write more. I am always seeking to create something new and unusual, to look at the mundane from a different perspective and make it something not-mundane. My years of programming online, my character ideas and adventure planning on D&D, even my ventures into different lifestyles are efforts to create a sense of something new and different, a need to change the environment of experience and set it apart from everyday-ness. Printing is all about taking ideas and making them into hard copy, though with the intent of profit, of course, but the transference of thought to physical medium is still a process of creation. I love video games, but I love altering them, creating new things for them just as much. Always it comes down to my need to make something and share it with others to experience. I always am made sad by creating something and not getting to show it to someone, preferably lots of people.
Well, now I am taking a cue from everyone who told me so, and I’m going to try and write a book. Genre fiction, fantasy themed. I’d like to keep the rest of details quiet for now until I develop it more, but I suppose those familiar with me will see some familiar threads of topic in the tapestry I plan to weave. Danielle has read my short drafts and says that the way I write fiction is in fact very in tune with her favorite (and very popular) authors. And she has read more books than I have by powers of 10. So many of her favorite series and books are by best-selling writers that I think if I can complete such a project, I could make a few dollars doing what I love best. Making a new experience to share.