Lonely, overheated & contemplative.
I am at mums place on my own for the evening, sitting here in my underwear with 2 fans pointed at me as her place is like an oven! I have been off work today as I can't seem to sleep - combination of heat/stress. The time off work didn't much help though as I am still overheated & stressed and only managed to get about 2 hours of extra sleep.
As mum is away in new zealand for 5 weeks I am nanny-sitter in chief in her absense. So this evening I took her for a walk to feed the ducks at a lake near her house. As always spending time with nanny makes me think of what it must be like to be old. As there are a lot of people in our club who are older (50's / early 60's) I often think that being old will be pretty cool, carry on riding like they all do, long white hair flying out behind me as I cruise around, no work to think about the next day, all my time as my own.
But then, I spend time with Nanny, who is 86, and all I can see is the downsides of being old. Nanny copes pretty well on her own since her hip replacement opp but there are so many things she struggles with, even really simple everyday stuff. Although she is still pretty "with-it" she mainly talks about her garden, and what my aunts/uncles/cousins are up to, and she repeats herself a lot. People have to come round to get her shopping and help her with stuff and there are all sorts of precoedures in place, a sort-of nanny rota of calling and visiting. I hate the idea of being like that. For her age she is fairly independant but that is relative, and the idea of being as dependant on others and as unable to get on without help as she is really scares me.
Oh well, who knowswhat will happen tommorrow, next week, next year, I might wrap my bike round a lorry and never have to worry about it.
Now I have to call a friend from the bike club and see if I can bribe him into dogsitting for the bulldog & ogri rallies as all the kennels I have called are full...
As mum is away in new zealand for 5 weeks I am nanny-sitter in chief in her absense. So this evening I took her for a walk to feed the ducks at a lake near her house. As always spending time with nanny makes me think of what it must be like to be old. As there are a lot of people in our club who are older (50's / early 60's) I often think that being old will be pretty cool, carry on riding like they all do, long white hair flying out behind me as I cruise around, no work to think about the next day, all my time as my own.
But then, I spend time with Nanny, who is 86, and all I can see is the downsides of being old. Nanny copes pretty well on her own since her hip replacement opp but there are so many things she struggles with, even really simple everyday stuff. Although she is still pretty "with-it" she mainly talks about her garden, and what my aunts/uncles/cousins are up to, and she repeats herself a lot. People have to come round to get her shopping and help her with stuff and there are all sorts of precoedures in place, a sort-of nanny rota of calling and visiting. I hate the idea of being like that. For her age she is fairly independant but that is relative, and the idea of being as dependant on others and as unable to get on without help as she is really scares me.
Oh well, who knowswhat will happen tommorrow, next week, next year, I might wrap my bike round a lorry and never have to worry about it.
Now I have to call a friend from the bike club and see if I can bribe him into dogsitting for the bulldog & ogri rallies as all the kennels I have called are full...