i no longer can exceed at what i always thought i could do
right now i feel that i have let alot of things go. i stopped doing the one thing i thought i could never stop doing and that was being there for my sister. i love my sister more then and anything and she was the who stopped me from doing the very worst thing i could when me and abbie broke up. i still remember all the nights i sat up alone thinking of her and how the only thing that ever made since when we broke up was when she told me think of your sister she needs you. that was the only thing that stopped me and know i feel extrmemly guilty on the fact that on aug 7 she ran away and right now shes in detroit michigan and i couldn't be there for her when she needed me because i was never home i was always out doing something like getting drunk or being drugged up on some sorta nircotic trying to get away from my home life. but since the night that she ran away i have not slept for more then 3 hrs and i have not eaten more then half a meal aday. i woke up this morning thinking the worst about my sister and i relized when i started trying to think of things that we have done in the past and i couldnt think of them because there isn't alot that we have done together. yes, we have been to hell and back about the same things and before i moved back to my dads house we were one but when i moved we lost alot of things. i have beening trying to run form the fact that she ran away and i have been hiding that behind numerous bottles of jack. if i had to take a breatherizer test i could not pass it right now or be able to have pasted in the last 72 hours. i hate knowing that i havent done everything i could to stop her from running but i dont blame her for doing it i just hope that she makes it back home before her court date i miss her alot and i love hher so much please come home laura. i wont fail again.