Somebody's Baby
Okay, time for the third promised entry about Saturday night's fun. Although this one is just plain confusing.
For those who have read my journal from the beginning, you may remember my friend Kidney and his girlfriend Guitar (obviously pseudonyms.) They met in college fell in love, yadda yadda he moved to LA for his music and she followed a few years later for him. I just realized that I spoke about him in the other entries by name, so I might as well admit that Kidney is Jason. Well, to bring you up to date, they split about two years ago. Everyone was shocked. Apparently he wasn't ready to be a husband until he could financially play the role, and she just wanted to get married. Now, since then neither has dated anyone seriously, and most who know them assume that they will reunite eventually. She still acts like she's in love with him and shows up for all the band's gigs, and he has never, to anyone's knowledge, stopped loving her.
Now then, we can get on to the entry proper. Guitar is a nice girl, the kind you can take home to mom, but also a flirty girl. For lack of a better analogy, she tries on trampy clothes but never buys them. I've always liked her, she is a lot of fun, and quite smart. Moreover, I've always felt like she liked me in a romantic way, but have never been able to put my finger on why. It's complicated by the fact that she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever known, and it's hard to believe she would have an interest in me. I have never easily or accurately judged when anyone is flirting with me or hitting on me, and so I usually go by the rule "if I notice it, it MUST be there." Well, if that is true, then boy was it there this night.
I hadn't seen her in probably a year, due to the fact that we were both out of town for extended periods working on movies. She didn't know I was coming to the bar that night, and when she saw me her face lit up. She gave me a big hug and a long kiss on the cheek, and we talked for a minute before she excused herself to the back patio (This is when I stayed to watch the lovely chanteuse Leslie.) So far, just a normal friend who hadn't seen a friend in a long time. When Leslie was finished I went back to the patio myself and joined everyone. I was talking to Jason when she winked at me from across the room. That wasn't the only time she winked at me during the evening, either. After West Coast Grand's set, when I said I was going to the bar and asked if anyone wanted anything, she said "Oh, I'll come with you", and we went to the bar together. Finally, when I said my goodbyes, I gave her a hug and when she gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, she cradled my face in both hands and gave me (what felt like) a kiss that lingered longer than a kiss goodbye to a friend. All of these things individually mean nothing, and frankly all put together they could mean nothing too. But sometimes a situation just FEELS different, and the entire evening I felt like for whatever reason, she was either flirting hard with me or outright hitting on me.
Which leaves me with questions. Is she doing this because she knows that being Jason's ex makes her off-limits to me and she is a sadist? Is she doing this because this is how she acts with everyone? Is she doing this because I'm right, and she really HAS always liked me? Is she not doing this at all and I'm making it up entirely in my head? I don't know. Every time I think I've figured out a little more about women, I realize that I don't know anything.
For those who have read my journal from the beginning, you may remember my friend Kidney and his girlfriend Guitar (obviously pseudonyms.) They met in college fell in love, yadda yadda he moved to LA for his music and she followed a few years later for him. I just realized that I spoke about him in the other entries by name, so I might as well admit that Kidney is Jason. Well, to bring you up to date, they split about two years ago. Everyone was shocked. Apparently he wasn't ready to be a husband until he could financially play the role, and she just wanted to get married. Now, since then neither has dated anyone seriously, and most who know them assume that they will reunite eventually. She still acts like she's in love with him and shows up for all the band's gigs, and he has never, to anyone's knowledge, stopped loving her.
Now then, we can get on to the entry proper. Guitar is a nice girl, the kind you can take home to mom, but also a flirty girl. For lack of a better analogy, she tries on trampy clothes but never buys them. I've always liked her, she is a lot of fun, and quite smart. Moreover, I've always felt like she liked me in a romantic way, but have never been able to put my finger on why. It's complicated by the fact that she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever known, and it's hard to believe she would have an interest in me. I have never easily or accurately judged when anyone is flirting with me or hitting on me, and so I usually go by the rule "if I notice it, it MUST be there." Well, if that is true, then boy was it there this night.
I hadn't seen her in probably a year, due to the fact that we were both out of town for extended periods working on movies. She didn't know I was coming to the bar that night, and when she saw me her face lit up. She gave me a big hug and a long kiss on the cheek, and we talked for a minute before she excused herself to the back patio (This is when I stayed to watch the lovely chanteuse Leslie.) So far, just a normal friend who hadn't seen a friend in a long time. When Leslie was finished I went back to the patio myself and joined everyone. I was talking to Jason when she winked at me from across the room. That wasn't the only time she winked at me during the evening, either. After West Coast Grand's set, when I said I was going to the bar and asked if anyone wanted anything, she said "Oh, I'll come with you", and we went to the bar together. Finally, when I said my goodbyes, I gave her a hug and when she gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, she cradled my face in both hands and gave me (what felt like) a kiss that lingered longer than a kiss goodbye to a friend. All of these things individually mean nothing, and frankly all put together they could mean nothing too. But sometimes a situation just FEELS different, and the entire evening I felt like for whatever reason, she was either flirting hard with me or outright hitting on me.
Which leaves me with questions. Is she doing this because she knows that being Jason's ex makes her off-limits to me and she is a sadist? Is she doing this because this is how she acts with everyone? Is she doing this because I'm right, and she really HAS always liked me? Is she not doing this at all and I'm making it up entirely in my head? I don't know. Every time I think I've figured out a little more about women, I realize that I don't know anything.