JB 9
Bowlers of the world unite! No longer will our sport be considered a pastime for the old and fat! No longer will we be confined to wearing bowling shoes only in the bowling alley as this should be a legitimate fashion statement. Our jerseys and wrist-protection devices should no longer be seen as a social stigma that creates the stereotypical image of the recreational bowler that society has come to loathe. Not only do we need to work on improving the social status our group deserves, but we also must begin to address some more logistical issues. Bowling leagues across this great nation must become formalized and united. By having a united front, we are much more likely to be taken seriously as we petition for our professional international bowling leagues to become a reality. I understand that for some of the more radical bowlers out there this expansion may dilute the purity of the sport that we have come to identify with, but I assure you this will not be the case. It is my firm belief that for the same reasons that we have taken a liking to bowling, the greatest pastime on Earth, the vast majority of society will see the proverbial light after being exposed to the many facets and variations of the game we have been enjoying for all these years. From duck pin bowling to bowling-for-burgers, everyone will connect with throwing a heavy object at things in an attempt to knock them down. What I would like to see more of is the development of the branch of our sport known as eXtreme bowling. I would gladly take suggestions for more extreme locations where we could practice this adventurous activity. However entertaining bowling on mountain tops and under the shadows of the live volcanoes in Hawaii and Brazil, we need to expand and become even more eXtreme! Just to throw a handful of ideas out there - underwater bowling, zero gravity bowling, bowling in southeast D.C., etc. are all solid and plausible ideas. We need to act fellow lions of the lane! The time to become a predominant class among the people of this world is upon us! The only question is: When your destiny calls, will you accept the charges?